Aug 18, 2017

Stop Lying To Yourself

If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you.

Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth.

In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want to call them.

There are few things more powerful than the power of the word. Furthermore, the power of truth.

The truth can cut open old emotional wounds like a scalpel. The truth can start and end lives. The truth can change the direction of your life forever.

Do you have stuck emotional residue that you’re knowingly ignoring, numbing out, or running away from?

Stop it. Stop pretending that you’re fine when you aren’t. Aren’t you tired of wearing such a false mask all of the time?

If you’re hurting, then allow yourself to feel your hurt fully. Let yourself be seen in the truth of your pain.

Let the tears roll down. Let the screams come out. Let the pain be welcomed and experienced.

Do you have art in you that needs to be expressed to the world?

Words that need to be written? Songs that need to be sung? Art projects that need to be created?

Stop pretending those whispers don’t exist inside of your heart. Let them out. Others will benefit from your creations (including you).

Don’t be selfish. Give your gifts to the world. As Wayne Dyer once said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Do you consistently turn a blind eye to your health?

Have symptoms started showing themselves to you that you’ve neglected? Pain? Numbness (physical or emotional)? Anxiety? Depression? Chronic anger? Brain fog? Exhaustion or burnout?

Your body constantly communicates it’s truth with you. Honour yourself by listening to it, and acting on it’s messages.

Your body craves challenge, work, sex, and movement. Do you give those things to it?

You, just as much as anyone else in the world, deserve love and kindness.

Do you keep going for the same unfulfilling relationship dynamic, even though you know it only brings you pain?

You have to become truly sick of this old pattern before you can transcend it. You have to really become bored with it. If it isn’t old enough to you yet, you’ll keep engaging in your old bullshit.

Decide that you’re over your old patterns, and mean it. Choose a new way.

Love and honour yourself so fully across the board in your life, and you will find someone who lights you up on every level sooner than you thought possible.

Do you ignore your financial reality?

Do you spend willingly on frivolous things, and hesitate to spend on the things that you say matter to you?

Stop spending money on shit that doesn’t matter. Stop investing your hard earned dollars on empty, temporary, consumables. Don’t get drunk daily, buy more clothes you don’t need, or eat at another restaurant and then complain about how you’re “so broke.”

Spend according to your values… not according to your fleeting whims.

Become aware of the reality of your finances and honour yourself enough to invest your energy where it actually needs to go.

Do you always put other people’s needs first?

Are you afraid to prioritize your needs? Are you quietly resentful and miserable? Do you hope that by giving enough to others you’ll start to get in return?

Enough. It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to put your own needs first for a change. Even for a week. Try it on like a new glove and see how it fits.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to have people know you, care for you, and be aware of you.

You were not put on this planet to play small and solely be a supporter of others. You also deserve love and compassion.

What is your truth?

What bubbled up inside of you as you read this?

Go. Honour that message.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this piece, you will likely also love reading:

– How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

– 7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

– How To Overcome Depression Naturally

– How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
Growth vs. Safety - The Two Paths That Determine Your Success
Jul 15, 2013
Jordan Gray
Growth vs. Safety – The Two Paths That Determine Your Success
In any moment you are either choosing between growth, or safety. And more often than not, most people choose safety. You could travel the world and learn about yourself!  But… you might get kidnapped so never mind. You could quit your day job and become self-employed!  But… that sounds scary...
Continue Reading
When Feeling Your Feelings Becomes Damaging
Apr 3, 2016
Jordan Gray
When Feeling Your Feelings Becomes Damaging
I am a huge proponent of feeling your feelings. We are a society who numbs. Instead of our feeling our feelings, we do everything in our power to avoid going directly through our pain. We self-medicate with being "sooo busy". We self-medicate with distractions. We self-medicate with drinking,...
Continue Reading
How Your Childhood Is Messing Up Your Love Life
Feb 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Your Childhood Is Messing Up Your Love Life
Growing up, you were completely at the will of your parents. Depending on how much love, time, and attention your parents gave you, their involvement in your life undoubtedly affected how you show up in your romantic relationships. If they were there for you, never there for you, or too...
Continue Reading
There Is Freedom In Commitment
Aug 12, 2018
Jordan Gray
There Is Freedom In Commitment
We fear that making commitments limits our freedom, when really, making the right commitments gives us more freedom than anything else we could do for ourselves. Allow me to paint a picture by contrasting two clients I worked with within the last decade. Karissa was terrified of...
Continue Reading
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Mar 25, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Are you looking to develop your masculine edge? Do you sometimes feel like you lack passion, fire, or courage in your life? Do you find yourself feeling lacklustre, being boring, or overly nice? Do you find it difficult to stay motivated in your career path, attract romantic partners that you're deeply...
Continue Reading
How To Not Sabotage A Promising New Relationship
Aug 28, 2025
Jordan Gray
How To Not Sabotage A Promising New Relationship
Ever worried about sabotaging a promising new relationship? It isn't just you. A client recently sent me the following email: "I have been in a new relationship for a month now and I like him so much. The problem is that I have an obsession with manifesting him leaving. It sounds convoluted but...
Continue Reading