Aug 18, 2017

Stop Lying To Yourself

If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you.

Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth.

In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want to call them.

There are few things more powerful than the power of the word. Furthermore, the power of truth.

The truth can cut open old emotional wounds like a scalpel. The truth can start and end lives. The truth can change the direction of your life forever.

Do you have stuck emotional residue that you’re knowingly ignoring, numbing out, or running away from?

Stop it. Stop pretending that you’re fine when you aren’t. Aren’t you tired of wearing such a false mask all of the time?

If you’re hurting, then allow yourself to feel your hurt fully. Let yourself be seen in the truth of your pain.

Let the tears roll down. Let the screams come out. Let the pain be welcomed and experienced.

Do you have art in you that needs to be expressed to the world?

Words that need to be written? Songs that need to be sung? Art projects that need to be created?

Stop pretending those whispers don’t exist inside of your heart. Let them out. Others will benefit from your creations (including you).

Don’t be selfish. Give your gifts to the world. As Wayne Dyer once said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Do you consistently turn a blind eye to your health?

Have symptoms started showing themselves to you that you’ve neglected? Pain? Numbness (physical or emotional)? Anxiety? Depression? Chronic anger? Brain fog? Exhaustion or burnout?

Your body constantly communicates it’s truth with you. Honour yourself by listening to it, and acting on it’s messages.

Your body craves challenge, work, sex, and movement. Do you give those things to it?

You, just as much as anyone else in the world, deserve love and kindness.

Do you keep going for the same unfulfilling relationship dynamic, even though you know it only brings you pain?

You have to become truly sick of this old pattern before you can transcend it. You have to really become bored with it. If it isn’t old enough to you yet, you’ll keep engaging in your old bullshit.

Decide that you’re over your old patterns, and mean it. Choose a new way.

Love and honour yourself so fully across the board in your life, and you will find someone who lights you up on every level sooner than you thought possible.

Do you ignore your financial reality?

Do you spend willingly on frivolous things, and hesitate to spend on the things that you say matter to you?

Stop spending money on shit that doesn’t matter. Stop investing your hard earned dollars on empty, temporary, consumables. Don’t get drunk daily, buy more clothes you don’t need, or eat at another restaurant and then complain about how you’re “so broke.”

Spend according to your values… not according to your fleeting whims.

Become aware of the reality of your finances and honour yourself enough to invest your energy where it actually needs to go.

Do you always put other people’s needs first?

Are you afraid to prioritize your needs? Are you quietly resentful and miserable? Do you hope that by giving enough to others you’ll start to get in return?

Enough. It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to put your own needs first for a change. Even for a week. Try it on like a new glove and see how it fits.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to have people know you, care for you, and be aware of you.

You were not put on this planet to play small and solely be a supporter of others. You also deserve love and compassion.

What is your truth?

What bubbled up inside of you as you read this?

Go. Honour that message.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this piece, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

How To Overcome Depression Naturally

How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
3 Reasons To Make Jealousy Your Friend
Apr 4, 2013
Jordan Gray
3 Reasons To Make Jealousy Your Friend
3 Reasons To Make Jealousy Your Friend We're told from a young age by friends, family, and society that certain emotions are "bad" to have. Depending on your culture and upbringing, pride, sexual desire, and jealousy are feelings that often have a bad reputation. Every emotion is...
Continue Reading
How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger
Nov 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger
Left unprocessed, repressed anger will wreak havoc on your happiness, your relationships, and your overall life. "But I'm not an angry person. I never get angry!", say most people everywhere. If you found your way to this article, there's some repressed anger buried somewhere deep inside of you. And...
Continue Reading
Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?
May 28, 2018
Jordan Gray
Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?
Are you truly willing to be awake in your relationship? A lot of people like to pay lip service to the idea of being in a ‘conscious relationship’… but when push comes to shove, they aren’t interested in truly doing their work. It’s easy to hide behind the guise of being woke as fuck, but walking the...
Continue Reading
How I Learned To Have Male Friends
Dec 11, 2019
Jordan Gray
How I Learned To Have Male Friends
I was bullied by my siblings for years in my childhood, and my brother was the ringleader of it all. It felt horrible. Like I was unworthy of love. I hated it so much that I tried to kill myself when I was 15 years old. As a result, I built a story in my mind that other men weren't trustable. For years...
Continue Reading
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
Jan 5, 2020
Jordan Gray
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
The majority of modern men are soft. And the world is suffering as a result. We live in a time of unprecedented prosperity and ease. And before you point your finger at the billionaires at the top, point your finger back at yourself and acknowledge just how fucking easy your life is compared to the...
Continue Reading
Engagement Anxiety: Why Am I More Afraid Than Happy?
Jan 13, 2024
Jordan Gray
Engagement Anxiety: Why Am I More Afraid Than Happy?
Congratulations! You've taken the step of saying "Yes" to a lifetime of love and commitment. The proposal was perfect, the ring was beautiful, and your heart soared with happiness. And yet, amidst the excitement and joy of being engaged to the love of your life, you find yourself grappling with an unexpected...
Continue Reading