Aug 18, 2017

Stop Lying To Yourself

If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you.

Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth.

In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want to call them.

There are few things more powerful than the power of the word. Furthermore, the power of truth.

The truth can cut open old emotional wounds like a scalpel. The truth can start and end lives. The truth can change the direction of your life forever.

Do you have stuck emotional residue that you’re knowingly ignoring, numbing out, or running away from?

Stop it. Stop pretending that you’re fine when you aren’t. Aren’t you tired of wearing such a false mask all of the time?

If you’re hurting, then allow yourself to feel your hurt fully. Let yourself be seen in the truth of your pain.

Let the tears roll down. Let the screams come out. Let the pain be welcomed and experienced.

Do you have art in you that needs to be expressed to the world?

Words that need to be written? Songs that need to be sung? Art projects that need to be created?

Stop pretending those whispers don’t exist inside of your heart. Let them out. Others will benefit from your creations (including you).

Don’t be selfish. Give your gifts to the world. As Wayne Dyer once said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Do you consistently turn a blind eye to your health?

Have symptoms started showing themselves to you that you’ve neglected? Pain? Numbness (physical or emotional)? Anxiety? Depression? Chronic anger? Brain fog? Exhaustion or burnout?

Your body constantly communicates it’s truth with you. Honour yourself by listening to it, and acting on it’s messages.

Your body craves challenge, work, sex, and movement. Do you give those things to it?

You, just as much as anyone else in the world, deserve love and kindness.

Do you keep going for the same unfulfilling relationship dynamic, even though you know it only brings you pain?

You have to become truly sick of this old pattern before you can transcend it. You have to really become bored with it. If it isn’t old enough to you yet, you’ll keep engaging in your old bullshit.

Decide that you’re over your old patterns, and mean it. Choose a new way.

Love and honour yourself so fully across the board in your life, and you will find someone who lights you up on every level sooner than you thought possible.

Do you ignore your financial reality?

Do you spend willingly on frivolous things, and hesitate to spend on the things that you say matter to you?

Stop spending money on shit that doesn’t matter. Stop investing your hard earned dollars on empty, temporary, consumables. Don’t get drunk daily, buy more clothes you don’t need, or eat at another restaurant and then complain about how you’re “so broke.”

Spend according to your values… not according to your fleeting whims.

Become aware of the reality of your finances and honour yourself enough to invest your energy where it actually needs to go.

Do you always put other people’s needs first?

Are you afraid to prioritize your needs? Are you quietly resentful and miserable? Do you hope that by giving enough to others you’ll start to get in return?

Enough. It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to put your own needs first for a change. Even for a week. Try it on like a new glove and see how it fits.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to have people know you, care for you, and be aware of you.

You were not put on this planet to play small and solely be a supporter of others. You also deserve love and compassion.

What is your truth?

What bubbled up inside of you as you read this?

Go. Honour that message.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this piece, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

How To Overcome Depression Naturally

How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
Sep 9, 2014
Jordan Gray
4 Relationship Rules To Live By
After years of self-reflection, I truly feel like I’ve found the holy grail of relationship mindset. These four rules encapsulate so much of what I believe to be true in relationships (intimate or otherwise) that I wanted to refine them into their simplest possible form before I made them public. Well,...
Continue Reading
Take The Leap
Mar 2, 2013
Jordan Gray
Take The Leap
Take The Leap I am three hours away from leaving my hometown on a one-way ticket to Asia. My small carry-on, sitting in the corner of my bedroom, has been packed for weeks. I told my girlfriend that I had packed it because I was so excited to leave, but if I'm being honest with myself,...
Continue Reading
101 Things I Love About My Wife
Nov 27, 2022
Jordan Gray
101 Things I Love About My Wife
Today is my wife's 30th birthday. Happy birthday Demetra! And so, to celebrate, aside from the usual presents and cards and cuddles (which she is also getting), I decided to write down some things that I love about her. If you've been following her work for any length of time, many of these...
Continue Reading
What Learning To Backflip Taught Me About Life
Apr 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
What Learning To Backflip Taught Me About Life
In the summer of 2018, I decided that I wanted to learn how to backflip. Being 6’7 (2.01m), this seemed like an impossible task. My internal dialogue rattled on... "Am I too lanky to pull this off? Do my legs have to work harder to launch my giant body off of the ground? Will I land on my head...
Continue Reading
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
Feb 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
There are two ways you can go about getting anything in life. The short cut, or the long road. There are pros and cons to each but, overall, I think you intuitively know that we don't value that which we don't work for. And good things come to those who wait. What's Wrong With Rush...
Continue Reading
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Dec 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Something I’ve learned from years in men’s work is that for most guys to really feel like men, they need to be initiated into manhood by a community of other guys, especially older ones. This is where they learn certain skills and ways of living. Most importantly, this initiatory process of...
Continue Reading