Aug 18, 2017

Stop Lying To Yourself

If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you.

Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth.

In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want to call them.

There are few things more powerful than the power of the word. Furthermore, the power of truth.

The truth can cut open old emotional wounds like a scalpel. The truth can start and end lives. The truth can change the direction of your life forever.

Do you have stuck emotional residue that you’re knowingly ignoring, numbing out, or running away from?

Stop it. Stop pretending that you’re fine when you aren’t. Aren’t you tired of wearing such a false mask all of the time?

If you’re hurting, then allow yourself to feel your hurt fully. Let yourself be seen in the truth of your pain.

Let the tears roll down. Let the screams come out. Let the pain be welcomed and experienced.

Do you have art in you that needs to be expressed to the world?

Words that need to be written? Songs that need to be sung? Art projects that need to be created?

Stop pretending those whispers don’t exist inside of your heart. Let them out. Others will benefit from your creations (including you).

Don’t be selfish. Give your gifts to the world. As Wayne Dyer once said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Do you consistently turn a blind eye to your health?

Have symptoms started showing themselves to you that you’ve neglected? Pain? Numbness (physical or emotional)? Anxiety? Depression? Chronic anger? Brain fog? Exhaustion or burnout?

Your body constantly communicates it’s truth with you. Honour yourself by listening to it, and acting on it’s messages.

Your body craves challenge, work, sex, and movement. Do you give those things to it?

You, just as much as anyone else in the world, deserve love and kindness.

Do you keep going for the same unfulfilling relationship dynamic, even though you know it only brings you pain?

You have to become truly sick of this old pattern before you can transcend it. You have to really become bored with it. If it isn’t old enough to you yet, you’ll keep engaging in your old bullshit.

Decide that you’re over your old patterns, and mean it. Choose a new way.

Love and honour yourself so fully across the board in your life, and you will find someone who lights you up on every level sooner than you thought possible.

Do you ignore your financial reality?

Do you spend willingly on frivolous things, and hesitate to spend on the things that you say matter to you?

Stop spending money on shit that doesn’t matter. Stop investing your hard earned dollars on empty, temporary, consumables. Don’t get drunk daily, buy more clothes you don’t need, or eat at another restaurant and then complain about how you’re “so broke.”

Spend according to your values… not according to your fleeting whims.

Become aware of the reality of your finances and honour yourself enough to invest your energy where it actually needs to go.

Do you always put other people’s needs first?

Are you afraid to prioritize your needs? Are you quietly resentful and miserable? Do you hope that by giving enough to others you’ll start to get in return?

Enough. It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to put your own needs first for a change. Even for a week. Try it on like a new glove and see how it fits.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to have people know you, care for you, and be aware of you.

You were not put on this planet to play small and solely be a supporter of others. You also deserve love and compassion.

What is your truth?

What bubbled up inside of you as you read this?

Go. Honour that message.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this piece, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

How To Overcome Depression Naturally

How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
I Want To Love You Like This, Every Day
Apr 1, 2016
Jordan Gray
I Want To Love You Like This, Every Day
This is a collection of words for any human being… regardless of whether you are currently in a relationship, or you are holding space in your life for an amazing, heart-burstingly fulfilling love to enter. - The story goes that love is supposed to fade over time. The honeymoon is apparently...
Continue Reading
Half A Dozen Hacks For Becoming Anyone's Most Amazing Friend
Jul 31, 2013
Jordan Gray
Half A Dozen Hacks For Becoming Anyone’s Most Amazing Friend
The word 'friend' has been diluted in a post-Facebook world. If you were born after 1980 it's highly likely that you have somewhere between 200 to 2,000 'friends' on social media. With 'friends' being such a dispensable resource, it's easy to put less importance on them. But what about true...
Continue Reading
21 Things To Do When Your Sex Drives Are Different
Feb 21, 2024
Jordan Gray
21 Things To Do When Your Sex Drives Are Different
Imagine this: you would love to have sex with your partner five times a week, and yet your partner is fine with once or twice a month. For many individuals, they don't have to imagine this scenario - because they live it every day. Over the years, I have met countless men and women who were stressed...
Continue Reading
You Are Worthy Of Love, Right Now
Oct 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
You Are Worthy Of Love, Right Now
One of the biggest problems that many of my clients face in their intimate relationships is battling their inner innate sense of worthiness. That is to say, they don't feel worthy of love from someone outside of themselves unless certain conditions are being met first. Well, guess what... here's...
Continue Reading
How To Stop Hating Women
Jan 28, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Stop Hating Women
(Note: this is a companion piece to my recent article How To Stop Hating Men. I also write the following article primarily directed at heterosexual men, since that demographic makes up a near-majority of my readership.) One of the most challenging, and often invisible, themes that keep people...
Continue Reading
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
Jan 5, 2020
Jordan Gray
Wanted: Strong Men For Soft Times
The majority of modern men are soft. And the world is suffering as a result. We live in a time of unprecedented prosperity and ease. And before you point your finger at the billionaires at the top, point your finger back at yourself and acknowledge just how fucking easy your life is compared to the...
Continue Reading