Aug 18, 2017

Stop Lying To Yourself

If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you.

Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth.

In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want to call them.

There are few things more powerful than the power of the word. Furthermore, the power of truth.

The truth can cut open old emotional wounds like a scalpel. The truth can start and end lives. The truth can change the direction of your life forever.

Do you have stuck emotional residue that you’re knowingly ignoring, numbing out, or running away from?

Stop it. Stop pretending that you’re fine when you aren’t. Aren’t you tired of wearing such a false mask all of the time?

If you’re hurting, then allow yourself to feel your hurt fully. Let yourself be seen in the truth of your pain.

Let the tears roll down. Let the screams come out. Let the pain be welcomed and experienced.

Do you have art in you that needs to be expressed to the world?

Words that need to be written? Songs that need to be sung? Art projects that need to be created?

Stop pretending those whispers don’t exist inside of your heart. Let them out. Others will benefit from your creations (including you).

Don’t be selfish. Give your gifts to the world. As Wayne Dyer once said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Do you consistently turn a blind eye to your health?

Have symptoms started showing themselves to you that you’ve neglected? Pain? Numbness (physical or emotional)? Anxiety? Depression? Chronic anger? Brain fog? Exhaustion or burnout?

Your body constantly communicates it’s truth with you. Honour yourself by listening to it, and acting on it’s messages.

Your body craves challenge, work, sex, and movement. Do you give those things to it?

You, just as much as anyone else in the world, deserve love and kindness.

Do you keep going for the same unfulfilling relationship dynamic, even though you know it only brings you pain?

You have to become truly sick of this old pattern before you can transcend it. You have to really become bored with it. If it isn’t old enough to you yet, you’ll keep engaging in your old bullshit.

Decide that you’re over your old patterns, and mean it. Choose a new way.

Love and honour yourself so fully across the board in your life, and you will find someone who lights you up on every level sooner than you thought possible.

Do you ignore your financial reality?

Do you spend willingly on frivolous things, and hesitate to spend on the things that you say matter to you?

Stop spending money on shit that doesn’t matter. Stop investing your hard earned dollars on empty, temporary, consumables. Don’t get drunk daily, buy more clothes you don’t need, or eat at another restaurant and then complain about how you’re “so broke.”

Spend according to your values… not according to your fleeting whims.

Become aware of the reality of your finances and honour yourself enough to invest your energy where it actually needs to go.

Do you always put other people’s needs first?

Are you afraid to prioritize your needs? Are you quietly resentful and miserable? Do you hope that by giving enough to others you’ll start to get in return?

Enough. It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to put your own needs first for a change. Even for a week. Try it on like a new glove and see how it fits.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to have people know you, care for you, and be aware of you.

You were not put on this planet to play small and solely be a supporter of others. You also deserve love and compassion.

What is your truth?

What bubbled up inside of you as you read this?

Go. Honour that message.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this piece, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

How To Overcome Depression Naturally

How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
Jan 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
I have had a lot of mentors throughout my lifetime. Some of them I have done work with in real life, others I have only learned from at a distance (whether because of their limited availability, or because they are no longer alive). One of the greatest life hacks available to us is to surround ourselves...
Continue Reading
TIL Ep.9: Play Away Your Anxiety With Charlie Hoehn
Oct 1, 2017
Jordan Gray
TIL Ep.9: Play Away Your Anxiety With Charlie Hoehn
Today on The Intentional Life, I talk to someone who I’ve been looking to have on the show for well over a year. If you have ever identified as a workaholic… an over achiever… or someone who struggles with anxiety, I can not recommend this episode enough for you. His name is Charlie Hoehn. He’s a writer,...
Continue Reading
Let Go Of Being At War With Yourself
Nov 11, 2018
Jordan Gray
Let Go Of Being At War With Yourself
If you ever have a difficult time receiving compliments… If you have a difficult time understanding why people like you, or are drawn to you… If you have a hundred excuses on the tip of your tongue as to why you can’t do the work you love, find your dream partner, or live a life that...
Continue Reading
How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?
Apr 22, 2016
Jordan Gray
How Will You Spend Your Heartbeats?
The most scarce resource you will ever have is your time. But time is too intangible. Time is a thing that humans invented to organize our lives around. So I like to think of our time in terms of heartbeats. You can feel your heart beating. It connects you to your body, and gets you out of your...
Continue Reading
10 Ways To Be The Most Romantic Partner She's Ever Had
Dec 30, 2013
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Be The Most Romantic Partner She’s Ever Had
"Romance is for the unmarried." "Chivalry is dead." "Real men aren't romantic." I've heard these sentiments uttered by people throughout my life. And what a load of crap. The truth? All men have the ability to be romantic. Granted, many guys are afraid to do romantic things because they...
Continue Reading
3 Crazy Effective Workouts For Lazy People
Feb 17, 2017
Jordan Gray
3 Crazy Effective Workouts For Lazy People
I have a confession to make... In many areas of my life, I am a ridiculously lazy person. The most pronounced part of my life where this shows up is in how I exercise. You see, I absolutely adore the benefits that I get from exercising (primarily: better quality sleep, creativity, resilience to getting...
Continue Reading