Aug 18, 2017

Stop Lying To Yourself

If “the truth shall set you free”, then lying to yourself will imprison you.

Adults are phenomenally adept at avoiding the truth.

In fact, most of society (and the majority of social interactions in general) are founded on overt and covert lies. Enabling. Half-truths. White-lies. Whatever you want to call them.

There are few things more powerful than the power of the word. Furthermore, the power of truth.

The truth can cut open old emotional wounds like a scalpel. The truth can start and end lives. The truth can change the direction of your life forever.

Do you have stuck emotional residue that you’re knowingly ignoring, numbing out, or running away from?

Stop it. Stop pretending that you’re fine when you aren’t. Aren’t you tired of wearing such a false mask all of the time?

If you’re hurting, then allow yourself to feel your hurt fully. Let yourself be seen in the truth of your pain.

Let the tears roll down. Let the screams come out. Let the pain be welcomed and experienced.

Do you have art in you that needs to be expressed to the world?

Words that need to be written? Songs that need to be sung? Art projects that need to be created?

Stop pretending those whispers don’t exist inside of your heart. Let them out. Others will benefit from your creations (including you).

Don’t be selfish. Give your gifts to the world. As Wayne Dyer once said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Do you consistently turn a blind eye to your health?

Have symptoms started showing themselves to you that you’ve neglected? Pain? Numbness (physical or emotional)? Anxiety? Depression? Chronic anger? Brain fog? Exhaustion or burnout?

Your body constantly communicates it’s truth with you. Honour yourself by listening to it, and acting on it’s messages.

Your body craves challenge, work, sex, and movement. Do you give those things to it?

You, just as much as anyone else in the world, deserve love and kindness.

Do you keep going for the same unfulfilling relationship dynamic, even though you know it only brings you pain?

You have to become truly sick of this old pattern before you can transcend it. You have to really become bored with it. If it isn’t old enough to you yet, you’ll keep engaging in your old bullshit.

Decide that you’re over your old patterns, and mean it. Choose a new way.

Love and honour yourself so fully across the board in your life, and you will find someone who lights you up on every level sooner than you thought possible.

Do you ignore your financial reality?

Do you spend willingly on frivolous things, and hesitate to spend on the things that you say matter to you?

Stop spending money on shit that doesn’t matter. Stop investing your hard earned dollars on empty, temporary, consumables. Don’t get drunk daily, buy more clothes you don’t need, or eat at another restaurant and then complain about how you’re “so broke.”

Spend according to your values… not according to your fleeting whims.

Become aware of the reality of your finances and honour yourself enough to invest your energy where it actually needs to go.

Do you always put other people’s needs first?

Are you afraid to prioritize your needs? Are you quietly resentful and miserable? Do you hope that by giving enough to others you’ll start to get in return?

Enough. It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to put your own needs first for a change. Even for a week. Try it on like a new glove and see how it fits.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be seen. You deserve to have people know you, care for you, and be aware of you.

You were not put on this planet to play small and solely be a supporter of others. You also deserve love and compassion.

What is your truth?

What bubbled up inside of you as you read this?

Go. Honour that message.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this piece, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

How To Overcome Depression Naturally

How Your Personal Boundaries Make Or Break Your Relationship

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
Jul 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
When I work with single clients, they often hesitate to fully acknowledge what they want in a partner. In fact, there are a handful of themes that consistently come up as it pertains to things they don't give themselves full permission to want. And without conscious awareness of these themes, people...
Continue Reading
How To Change Your Partner
Jul 22, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Change Your Partner
One of the most common questions that I get asked by my clients is how they can encourage their partner to grow and develop as a person, while bringing up the subject from a loving place (as opposed to a challenging place that would make them think something was wrong with them). Whether you want...
Continue Reading
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
Nov 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.” - Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook We all suffer tragedies in life. Break ups, abandonments, lost loved ones, and countless other bumps and bruises will take their toll on our hearts as we live. It’s so tempting...
Continue Reading
8 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Masculine Energy
Jan 20, 2014
Jordan Gray
8 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Masculine Energy
Want to feel raw masculine energy coursing through your veins? Maybe you have an important date tonight. Maybe you have an important project to complete. Maybe you want to bring back the spark to the bedroom. Whatever your reason, levelling up your masculine energy is simple when you know...
Continue Reading
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
Jul 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
At the beginning of 2014 I set out with the intention to fall more deeply in love with myself than I ever had before. And when I get an idea in my head, I commit to it fully. I hired a self-love coach that I checked in with at least once per week. I started working with a therapist to dig into some...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.2: Radical Self-Love with Kelsey Grant
May 23, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.2: Radical Self-Love with Kelsey Grant
Today on The Intentional Life, I have amazing-badass-superwoman, and one of my personal coaches over the last two years, Kelsey Grant. Kelsey is a love and relationship educator with her teachings rooted in a radical self love methodology. Simply put, she's a self-love coach. And a hell of a good...
Continue Reading