Jul 24, 2013

The 12 Types Of Undateable Men

There is a tricky transition from being a boy to becoming a man.  And through this process a lot of men don’t make the full journey.

Boy psychology is unaware of it’s place in society, primarily self-interested, avoidant, and indecisive.  Boys are reactive and thrive in the role of the victim.

Man psychology is structured, courageous, self-sufficient, decisive, and driven.  Mature men are proactive and accepting of responsibility.

And in the no man’s land between the boy stage and the mature man stage live the twelve types of undateable men.

Is it impossible for these types of men to get into a romantic relationship?  No, of course not.

Is it very likely that these types of men will never be able to be in a healthy, thriving relationship with someone that doesn’t also have a boat load of emotional issues?  Yes.

Without further ado, here are the twelve types of undateable men (that you can either avoid being, or avoid dating)…

1. The No-Getter

The No-Getter is unambitious, has no real direction, and is happy making minimum wage for the rest of his life.

Common secondary symptoms include lacklustre social life, poor cardiovascular health, and a distinct lack of stamps on his passport.

Who needs goals when you have microwavable food?

2. The Green-Eyed Monster

The jealous type that assumes the worst in their partners.

Green-Eyed Monsters are truly projecting.  They suspect you of cheating because they themselves are most often cheaters or semi-recovering cheaters (and so cheating is on their mind a lot).

3. The Power Starved Prince

The Power Starved Prince is constantly aware of the status dynamic in your relationship.  He does everything from the mindset of “Who is winning right now?”

It has been hammered into his head that women will lose respect for him if he does too many favours for them or appears “beta” in any way.

You’ll ask him if he could take out the garbage… “In my own time.”  You’ll ask if he could get you a glass of water… “Why? Are your legs broken?”

You’ll fight for every inch with this one and he really isn’t worth the headache.

4. The Entitled Boy

The Entitled Boy expects things to come easily to him in life, love, and work.  He believes that he “deserves” the best even though he hasn’t really earned anything.

He is often single, and unemployed (or “transitioning”) because he feels that every job and every relationship is beneath him.  Stay away!

5. The Self-Neglecter

Often found in his natural habitat of unwashed filth, playing video games while drinking out of cans or bowls (“All of the cups were dirty”).

The Self-Neglecter will do absolutely anything to avoid doing dishes, paying bills, or bathing.  Often has overlapping qualities of the No-Getter.  Basically, this guy just sucks at life.

Handsome narcissistic young man looking in a mirror

6. The Mirror Obsessed Narcissist

In many ways the opposite of the Self-Neglecter, the Narcissist spends way too much time on his own physical appearance.  Having a full time workout routine is one thing, but waxing your chest, having a three-step exfoliation process, and hiding mirrors around the house is what really takes this guy to the next level.

The Mirror Obsessed Narcissist finds it difficult to really value his partners feminine essence because he is too wrapped up in himself.

While taking care of yourself and having some self-respect are one thing, making your partner feel invisible is not an admirable trait for any mature man.

7. The Hot-Headed Man-Child

The Man-Child takes everything that you say personally and is quick to anger.

He is also skilled at manipulating you into apologizing unnecessarily (which you will gladly do just to get him to calm down).

Partners of the Hot-Headed Man-Child feel like they are babysitting more often than they are in a romantic relationship with a like-minded peer.

Suggest some anger-management and assertiveness training classes and then move on.

8. The “Nice Guy”

I’ve written extensively about this guy in the past.  Passive, manipulative, and a liar, the “nice guy” stalks his prey by lavishing his target with praise and favours in hopes of turning their fallacy of a friendship into a romantic endeavour.

This kind of guy should be avoided at all costs.  Wait until they learn how to be honest, set more personal boundaries, and express their true intentions before you consider a relationship.

9. The Know-It-All

This guy has to be right all of the time.  He can often be found spouting off random, boring facts about anything and everything at dinner parties as people try and get as much distance as possible from him.  The only way to get the best of an argument with this guy is to avoid it altogether.

He is truly masking his tender ego and is desperately seeking approval and validation from others.  Lives in his head, and fears living in his heart.

10. The Armchair Critic

The Armchair Critic judges everyone around him, but is doing nothing substantial with his own life.

He has an opinion on the life of you, your best friend, your cousin-in-law, and anyone else that doesn’t match his ridiculously high standards.

When you dig a bit deeper you realize that the Critic feels deeply insecure about his own shortcomings and manages to keep people from looking too closely at him by making them feel defensive.

11. The Court Jester

The Court Jester is goofy, uncomfortable in silences, and a people pleaser.

He wants to make sure that people are constantly happy, and has a compulsive need to keep the conversation flowing.

The major sign that you’re dealing with a Court Jester?  He can’t be seen as feeling anything but happiness.  When you ask them how they’re feeling, you will almost never hear anything other than “Great!”

They have a resistance to being seen emotionally and never want to ‘burden’ you with any form of negativity.

12. The Emotional Adolescent

Whether he has been burned in the past or not (who hasn’t?) the Emotional Adolescent has a deep mistrust of women.

Often uses broad generalizations about how women are gold-diggers, or are not to be trusted.  He has the phrase “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them” tattooed somewhere on his body.

The Emotional Adolescent is afraid of vulnerability, opening up to women, and thinks that women are out to get him.  Whether this stems from a past heart break, low self-esteem, or being brain-washed by cultural conditioning, this guy has some work to do on himself.

Let The Work Begin

By reading through and understanding each of these twelve types of pseudo-men, you may see pieces of yourself.  To a small extent, that’s totally fine… we all have some boy psychology in us and that is unavoidable and completely healthy.

Anything in it’s extreme form is unattractive.  The man who is made of pure drive with no sense of enjoyment or balance is just as unattractive as the no-getter.

But if you see yourself as word-for-word cases of one or two of these, you might want to do some major self-reflection and see how you can kick some of these old habits that will hold you back from truly finding love in your life.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely also love checking out:

Being A Healthy, Balanced Adult Is Sexy As Fuck

How To Find And Date An Exceptionally High Quality Partner

The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology

4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often

How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
6 Ways To Use Technology To Improve Your Relationship
Nov 30, 2014
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Use Technology To Improve Your Relationship
Don't think that you can use technology to improve your relationship? Think again. People blame technology for a lot these days. I see endless news headlines with titles like: “Digital communication is making us more disconnected”, “We need more face to face and less Facebook”, and “People texting...
Continue Reading
7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship
Dec 11, 2013
Jordan Gray
7 Things All Men Need In A Relationship
Men are often reluctant to talk about their deepest needs in intimate relationships. Whether social conditioning or an inability to communicate our needs are to blame, men (who tend to be the less communicative partners in intimate relationships) are prone to silently suffering when their emotional...
Continue Reading
5 Steps To A More Integrated Masculinity
Jun 7, 2019
Jordan Gray
5 Steps To A More Integrated Masculinity
Men are not born men. They become men through intention. To develop and integrate your masculinity, and truly feel like a man, you’ll have to put in particular types of effort in specific areas. Because, unlike pubic hair, masculinity and psychological maturity aren't automatic achievements you unlock...
Continue Reading
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
Jan 15, 2017
Jordan Gray
5 Of The People I Respect The Most In The World
I have had a lot of mentors throughout my lifetime. Some of them I have done work with in real life, others I have only learned from at a distance (whether because of their limited availability, or because they are no longer alive). One of the greatest life hacks available to us is to surround ourselves...
Continue Reading
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Oct 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Humans are fairly predictable creatures. Because of this, we crave a sense of differentiation. We all want to be unique. We want to feel special. We want to believe that the rules that apply to all people don’t automatically apply to us. But you know something… It's okay to be human. And...
Continue Reading
Does An Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex? Not Quite…
Feb 12, 2014
Jordan Gray
Does An Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex? Not Quite…
Recent research has shown that the more equal and fair couples are in their partnership the less sex they have. The more the man does what are considered to be more feminine chores, the happier she says she is with him as a partner, but the less sexually desirable she finds him. But is this really...
Continue Reading