Dec 3, 2015

The 5 Best Things To Do When You're Hurting

We all hurt sometimes.

Maybe you went through a painful breakup recently. Or you lost someone close to you. Or you’re just in a funk lately and feel like busting out of it (even if only for a couple of hours).

These are my five go-to activities whenever I want to feel better. They’re simple, and they work (for baaaaaasically 100% of people).

Whatever you’re going through, I trust that these will make your days a little bit lighter.

1. Sweat

This one is often the most accessible of the list.

Whether you have a gym pass or not, you can do squats, push ups, or any body weight exercise wherever you are to get your heart rate up.

As we’ve all been told a million times by a million different sources, doing something that makes us sweat a few times per week is super-duper great for our brains, mood, circulatory health and a whole host of other benefits.

If you feel stagnant, get moving.

And if that seems like too much to ask right now, then move on to the next steps.

2. Cry

If you feel like staying in (or being out in public) and sobbing your face off, go for it.

The stress hormones released through either sweating or crying are some of the most efficient ways to feel better for a little while. Plus, crying feels great.

Pull up your favourite sad song, sad movie scene, or old photographs that make you tear up and sit with them until you drip fluids from your eyeballs to your jawline. Et voila! You’re a little bit less stressed now.

3. Laugh

I’ve heard some play specialists (yup, it’s a job) hypothesize that laughter is your body shaking out stress. Kind of like with orgasms, whatever the reason is that it works… I don’t care. But it works.

Watch YouTube clips of your favourite comedians, go see a live comedy night/improv show/movie, or call up one of your friends that you have the most laughs with and jiggle that stress out of your body.

4. Be in water

There’s something universally calming about water. Being in it, being near it, hearing it moving… it’s all relaxing.

I don’t even like being in the ocean. It stresses me out to think of all of the animals that live in it that all want to eat my legs… but I still like sitting on a beach and sipping drinks.

If you don’t have a breezy tropical vacation in your back yard, just take an extended bath or shower. Or go into a sensory deprivation tank (aka float tank) if your city has those nearby.

5. Talk to someone

Sometimes the easiest way to get out of our crappy mood is to have a conversation with someone who we love, trust, and feel safe with.

Often we get wrapped up in our own bad moods because we have too much time to analyze ourselves or focus on the self-perceived negatives in our lives, and when we reach out and chat with a friend, it reminds us that there’s a big, sexy world outside of our’s. And it’s just a phone call/stroll through the park/text message away!

Keep These Five Things Front Of Mind

If these five things resonated with you, make sure that you bookmark this post so that you can keep checking back to it on your down days. Keeping our self-care front of mind is one of the most self-loving things that we can do for ourselves.

And hey, if you want someone to talk to, I’m always here to listen.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
Dec 7, 2025
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
High achievers have a consistent problem that not enough people talk about publicly. They're disciplined, capable, responsible... and yet somehow still exhausted. They often have a million balls they're juggling in the air (people they're responsible for, livelihoods they support, people who come to...
Continue Reading
What Ancient Tribes Knew About Being A Man That You Don't
Jan 27, 2014
Jordan Gray
What Ancient Tribes Knew About Being A Man That You Don’t
For thousands of years of human existence in ancient cultures across the world, there have been rites of passage that made boys into men. During these rites of passage boys would overcome fear, anxiety, and death in order to shed their boy-like way of thinking and more fully mature on a mental and...
Continue Reading
How I Learned To Have Male Friends
Dec 11, 2019
Jordan Gray
How I Learned To Have Male Friends
I was bullied by my siblings for years in my childhood, and my brother was the ringleader of it all. It felt horrible. Like I was unworthy of love. I hated it so much that I tried to kill myself when I was 15 years old. As a result, I built a story in my mind that other men weren't trustable. For years...
Continue Reading
Does Polyamory Ever Work?
Jan 28, 2021
Jordan Gray
Does Polyamory Ever Work?
Does polyamory ever work? I received the following letter from a reader the other day. "I’ve been struggling for the better part of several months dealing with leaving my ex for the second time (who came back early last year love bombing me for months, then completely shifting saying he wants to...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
Aug 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
On today's episode, Ruby Fremon and I discuss all things self-love. We talk about her difficult past, the turning point that snapped her out of her life-funk, what her pathway to self-love looked like, and her unique philosophy on what it is that actually makes us more self-loving. Ruby and I's...
Continue Reading
9 Reasons To Not Use Dating Apps (At All, Ever)
Jan 29, 2025
Jordan Gray
9 Reasons To Not Use Dating Apps (At All, Ever)
Despite millions of people using dating apps, nearly 80% of users report feeling burnt out, frustrated, and no closer to finding a meaningful connection. While dating apps claim to bring people together, some research suggests they often do the opposite - leading to higher rates of anxiety, lower...
Continue Reading