Dec 3, 2015

The 5 Best Things To Do When You're Hurting

We all hurt sometimes.

Maybe you went through a painful breakup recently. Or you lost someone close to you. Or you’re just in a funk lately and feel like busting out of it (even if only for a couple of hours).

These are my five go-to activities whenever I want to feel better. They’re simple, and they work (for baaaaaasically 100% of people).

Whatever you’re going through, I trust that these will make your days a little bit lighter.

1. Sweat

This one is often the most accessible of the list.

Whether you have a gym pass or not, you can do squats, push ups, or any body weight exercise wherever you are to get your heart rate up.

As we’ve all been told a million times by a million different sources, doing something that makes us sweat a few times per week is super-duper great for our brains, mood, circulatory health and a whole host of other benefits.

If you feel stagnant, get moving.

And if that seems like too much to ask right now, then move on to the next steps.

2. Cry

If you feel like staying in (or being out in public) and sobbing your face off, go for it.

The stress hormones released through either sweating or crying are some of the most efficient ways to feel better for a little while. Plus, crying feels great.

Pull up your favourite sad song, sad movie scene, or old photographs that make you tear up and sit with them until you drip fluids from your eyeballs to your jawline. Et voila! You’re a little bit less stressed now.

3. Laugh

I’ve heard some play specialists (yup, it’s a job) hypothesize that laughter is your body shaking out stress. Kind of like with orgasms, whatever the reason is that it works… I don’t care. But it works.

Watch YouTube clips of your favourite comedians, go see a live comedy night/improv show/movie, or call up one of your friends that you have the most laughs with and jiggle that stress out of your body.

4. Be in water

There’s something universally calming about water. Being in it, being near it, hearing it moving… it’s all relaxing.

I don’t even like being in the ocean. It stresses me out to think of all of the animals that live in it that all want to eat my legs… but I still like sitting on a beach and sipping drinks.

If you don’t have a breezy tropical vacation in your back yard, just take an extended bath or shower. Or go into a sensory deprivation tank (aka float tank) if your city has those nearby.

5. Talk to someone

Sometimes the easiest way to get out of our crappy mood is to have a conversation with someone who we love, trust, and feel safe with.

Often we get wrapped up in our own bad moods because we have too much time to analyze ourselves or focus on the self-perceived negatives in our lives, and when we reach out and chat with a friend, it reminds us that there’s a big, sexy world outside of our’s. And it’s just a phone call/stroll through the park/text message away!

Keep These Five Things Front Of Mind

If these five things resonated with you, make sure that you bookmark this post so that you can keep checking back to it on your down days. Keeping our self-care front of mind is one of the most self-loving things that we can do for ourselves.

And hey, if you want someone to talk to, I’m always here to listen.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Relationship Tools For Married Entrepreneurs
Feb 12, 2025
Jordan Gray
7 Relationship Tools For Married Entrepreneurs
You love your spouse. You also love your work. But some days, it feels like you’re being pulled in opposite directions. Between marketing, meetings, and (often self-imposed) deadlines, where does your marriage fit in? The good news is, balancing love and entrepreneurship isn’t about choosing...
Continue Reading
The Only Thing You Need To Get Right While Talking To A Woman
Apr 28, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Only Thing You Need To Get Right While Talking To A Woman
You have been raised with the mindset that you need to play it cool in order to impress and ultimately attract a woman. And the initial appeal of this way of interacting with women makes sense. Because it helps you steer clear of vulnerability (something that you have been taught to avoid at all costs). Besides,...
Continue Reading
In Praise Of Praise
Nov 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
In Praise Of Praise
I met a recently engaged couple while living in Thailand earlier this year. I asked Phil to share his favourite thing about his fiancee, Emily, and he was quick to answer. “Emily is really nurturing and patient with me. She’s very sweet to me when I need it the most.” Emily was completely taken aback....
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Help Reduce The Male Suicide Rate
Dec 18, 2017
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Help Reduce The Male Suicide Rate
Men are dying by suicide at a rate of three to four times more than women. In a 2014 UK study, the male suicide rate was 16.8 suicides per 100,000 people, versus 5.2 per 100,000 for female deaths. Of the more than 44,000 people who die by suicide every year in the United States, the significant...
Continue Reading
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Aug 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Have you ever heard of the book 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson? It's one of my all time favourite self-help books that I re-read every year or so. It isn’t a problem if you haven’t read it… since I’m about to summarize the whole book into one sentence. The basic premise of The Slight Edge is that… Small,...
Continue Reading
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
Jan 1, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
I was at one of the lowest points of my life a year and a half ago… I was depressed, unfulfilled, and having frequent panic attacks. I was in a relationship that drained me, a job that I resented, and felt incongruent with who I was and what I was doing. One morning, I woke up and decided that...
Continue Reading