Feb 10, 2013

The Three Pillars

Through my last several years of coaching men on the subject of attractive behaviour, I have noticed a major trend.

Guys results either skyrocketed quickly, or their results went up little by little.

The speed of their results always came down to their foundations. There was something that the rapid-results-rockstars had inside of them that the gradual guys didn’t have.

These have come to be known as The Three Pillars.

If you check in with yourself, in an open and honest way, and make sure that these foundational themes are firmly entrenched in your mind then your results will come along much faster.

1. The Belief That People Are Worth It

If you are looking to improve your social circle, relationships with others, or your ability to attract and maintain relationships with women, then this one is essential.

Through my coaching, I have met dozens of men who were trying to improve their ability to network or get into a relationship, but were not yielding the kind of results that they wanted because deep down they did not have this belief. They had certain universal beliefs that weren’t serving them. Beliefs such as, “People are self-centred”, “Women just want guys that are tall, dark, and handsome”, or, the worst one that I’ve ever been exposed to, “People are all assholes”.

Beliefs such as these instantly tarnish the way that you see your entire world. If you walk around expecting that people are going to treat you badly or reject you, this will show up in how you carry yourself and will actually make people want to not be around you.

Conversely, if your belief is that people are warm, friendly, and giving, then that will shape your world in a more positive light. Again, this belief will affect your disposition and people will actually treat you better.

Think about it this way… if you tell yourself that you are confident and carry yourself with the posture of a man with confidence, more people will treat you like you are confident and it will actually instil more confidence into your mindset.

2. Love Of Women

I was in one of the world’s largest strip clubs in Las Vegas last year (do I have your attention now?) when I had, what Oprah would call, an “A-ha!” moment. I had one of the most beautiful, educated women I’ve ever met sitting on my lap and we were discussing her masters program that she was taking at a nearby university. Throughout the course of the conversation my job came up and she was naturally intrigued. But here’s the kicker…

She drew a parallel between our jobs that I never would have thought of unless she had said it… and it was so simple.

She told me that there were two kinds of men that came to strip clubs (and to me, for dating advice)… guys that loved women, and guys that hated women.

This dichotomy was instantly clear to me. Whether guys were in a strip club or looking to advance their pick-up prowess… they were serving the same purpose.

Roughly 95% of the men who have come to me for help over the last several years have been guys that loved women. They wanted to work on themselves so that they could attract a higher calibre (or higher number) of women and manage their relationships better than they had in the past. These men loved women. They loved their energy, their intuition, their presence, and they wanted to better themselves for the sake of women. Let’s call these guys the Lovers.

And then there were the other 5% of guys that came to me for advice. They had been dumped once or twice, or never dated girls at all, and had a huge chip on their shoulders when it came to women. Let’s call these guys the Haters.

The Lovers had the firm belief that people were worth it. They would do whatever it took to make their goals a reality, and they did so from a place of integrity.

The Haters might have done whatever it took to get women in to their life… but I never found out because I wouldn’t take them on as clients. I would much rather spend my time giving the ‘nice guys’ a chance in the dating realm, than helping the douchebags.

So if you don’t have a firm love for women in your heart, feel free to never come back to this website again… holla!

3. Personal Development vs. Skill

This is where it really all comes together.

Are you studying attraction and self-development to get better at the skills necessary to attract relationships? Or are you more focused on improving yourself from the inside out?

Truly high-quality, socially intelligent women instantly can tell the difference between a guy that has ‘learned to be attractive’ and ‘is attractive’.

Does this mean that you can’t learn to be better with women? Of course not. You can absolutely increase your level of attractiveness to the opposite sex. But if your intention in getting better is to APPEAR better than you are, compared to actually BEING better, you will not get as far. You must focus on real personal growth.

That is the entire purpose to this website. To inspire real, tangible growth in your character.

If you want a quick fix… a band-aid to cover your gaping wound… you can find that on dozens of other seduction websites.

If you want to grow as a man, attract women that love you for who you are, have the ability to express a full range of emotions without fear, and be a man that others respect and admire, then keep checking back for more updates.

Dedicated To your success,

Jordan Gray

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