Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

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