Oct 1, 2016

Do Something About It

Life expands and contracts to the degree that you courageously move in the direction of your desires.

In other words, you will be consistently rewarded for taking action, or consistently punished for doing nothing.

Even more simply…

If you’re not happy with something in your life…

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You’re single and don’t want to be?

Do something about it.

– Tell your friends (that know you and that you trust) that you don’t want to be single. Ask them to set you up with anyone who they think might be a good match for you. Yes, this can feel scary to do… do it anyways.

– Start living a more authentically aligned life. Be your best self. Go to the places that you know you’ve been meaning to go. Sign up for that class. Go to that gym. Do the things you already want to do. Your type of people will be there, waiting for you.

– Go online. Everyone’s doing it. Don’t bank on this being your only way that you meet people, but allow it to be a supplement. Not sure what to put in your profile? Read this.

You’re in a marriage and the spark is completely gone?

Do something about it.

– Invite a dialogue with your partner. Ask them the thing that you fear the most. “How do you feel about us right now?” “Are you happy with where we’re at?” “How can I be a better partner for you?” It’s your relationship. You know, deep in your bones, where you’re currently at with them. You know what to say better than I do.

– Instigate a regular date night. It might feel awkward at first, but it’ll melt away. Shared experiences always bring people closer.

– See a therapist if you need to. There’s no shame. It’s like online dating… everyone’s doing it.

– Have an honest discussion about your sex life.

You feel like a loser for not having any close friends as an adult?

Do something about it.

– Start revealing your mind to your existing friends. Start cultivating real depth in the relationships that you already have.

– Join a local women’s/men’s group. You’ll learn a lot about yourself.

– Do things that you find fun, outside of your house. You’ll find people that you vibe with.

– Talk about real shit. Drop the mask. Let people know where you’re at. Be honest.

– Realize that it’s completely fine to approach a stranger with “You look interesting and I think we might get a long. I don’t know what else to say other than that. I’m Jack, what’s your name?”

– Stop hiding. Get out there.

You’ve had a crazy bad knot in your back/neck/glute for a year and it isn’t getting any better?

Do something about it.

– Stop ignoring it.

– Book a session with a massage therapist. Or chiropractor. Or acupuncturist. Or your buddy Mikey who has an inversion table. Just do something.

– Can’t afford a massage? Roll around on a hard ball. It’s like self-massage.

– Maybe the knot in your body speaks to a misalignment in your life. Are you spending time with friends you love? Are you doing work you love? Are you doing someone you love? If not, fix that too.

– Are you too sedentary? Go for a walk. For an hour. Every day. And drink water while you’re doing it. And then stretch a bunch afterwards. Not sure how to stretch? Watch YouTube videos. Everything is free these days.

You wish you were making more money?

Do something about it.

– Figure out how to become more valuable at the thing that you do.

– Figure out how to add more value to the job/position/industry/business you work for. Add more value first, create more wealth after. This is the only way that it works. Do the work first. It will happen.

– Pick up a second or third job. Or drop the existing job that is eating your soul and start doing something that you love. The soul income might be worth more to you than a monetary pay raise.

– The internet exists. Use it. Write a book. Create a video course and release it on a site that has existing customers. Create cute shit and sell it on Etsy. If you make something valuable and get it in front of people who want it, you will make money. The internet doesn’t care about your age, race, or gender… the playing field is level. The world is your oyster.

Your kids are being shitty and acting like spoiled brats?

Do something about it.

– Maybe you gave them too much and they’re soft. They need to go through some real living. You have to not give them everything, ever. In order to be resilient human beings, they might need to suffer a bit.

– Do they have bad impulse control? Are they rude to waiters? Maybe they learned those behaviours from you. Children learn from the behaviours that their parents model to them. Audit your own behaviour before you jump down their throat about something. Aka check yo self before you reck yo self.

– Set boundaries. Tell them what is appropriate and what isn’t. If they still push back, then tell them what the consequences are. Healthy boundaries have consequences… otherwise they’re just empty threats.

Your business isn’t going as you hoped it would?

Do something about it.

– Get feedback from your customers. Send them a feedback form. Ask them what they need from you. ‘Writer’s block’ as a concept is a complete myth. You can always create. If you can’t create, it’s because you feel disconnected from yourself and/or the people that you are serving.

– Drop your prices. Maybe you priced based on ego versus based on value.

– Add more value. Seriously. Over and over. Just keep going. Change people’s lives for the better a hundred times and they will fall in love with you. Do it because you love them.

You feel like you need to make a change but you’re not sure how to do it?

– Yes you do. Stop kidding yourself.

– If you really don’t, talk it out with a friend. If that doesn’t help…

– Maybe you need to cultivate some courage, and just take the leap. It won’t necessarily be easy, but it will be worth it. Eventually.

Whatever is going in in your life that you wish were different, you can make it different.

Stop making excuses.

Do something about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. You aren’t sure what to do? Yes you do. Dig deep. You’ll find an answer.

Pps. Still not sure what to do about your situation? Let’s chat.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
This Is Your Life Purpose
Oct 8, 2017
Jordan Gray
This Is Your Life Purpose
To feel alive... This is your life purpose. Spend time with people who make you feel alive. Eat food that makes you feel alive. Do work that makes you feel alive. Spend your money on experiences that make you feel more alive. Do things that make you feel alive. If the answer is...
Continue Reading
All Relationship Is For Healing
Apr 26, 2015
Jordan Gray
All Relationship Is For Healing
The purpose of any and every relationship in your life is healing. Whether it’s the healing you’re aware of… your ex that you want to get over, your low self-esteem that you’re trying to raise, or your sexual confidence that you’re trying to boost. The healing you’re partially aware of… the lingering...
Continue Reading
Ejaculating Too Frequently Is Wasting Your Potential In Life
Jul 4, 2019
Jordan Gray
Ejaculating Too Frequently Is Wasting Your Potential In Life
Ejaculating isn't bad. Engaging in regular self-pleasure isn't bad. At all. Anyone who has read my writing long enough will know that I’m a shout-from-the-mountaintops kind of champion for engaging in a regular self-pleasure practice. But. Particularly for men, there are healthy and unhealthy limits....
Continue Reading
How To Give Your Man A Prostate Massage
Aug 30, 2019
Jordan Gray
How To Give Your Man A Prostate Massage
Whether you believe it or not, anal pleasure is very, very real.  Being a champion for butt stuff can be tough sometimes. It kind of feels like you’re Galileo trying to convince people that Earth is not the centre of the solar system. Nobody believes you, and some don't even want to believe you, but...
Continue Reading
How To Cultivate Light And Dark Sexual Energy
Oct 29, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Cultivate Light And Dark Sexual Energy
Five years ago I went to my first ever sex party in a "dungeon" in San Francisco. It was intense... and surprising... and definitely not what you'd expect. But before I tell you that story, I need to tell you something very important (and some very personal things about myself). This is what an...
Continue Reading
8 Vital Things Women Need to Know About Men
Jan 2, 2020
Jordan Gray
8 Vital Things Women Need to Know About Men
Shelves have been filled with books trying to explain the sexes to each other. Despite what some want to believe, we have our differences. And there’s nothing bad about that. It’s not about better or worse. It just is what it is. When it comes to men and women, there are statistically...
Continue Reading