Oct 1, 2016

Do Something About It

Life expands and contracts to the degree that you courageously move in the direction of your desires.

In other words, you will be consistently rewarded for taking action, or consistently punished for doing nothing.

Even more simply…

If you’re not happy with something in your life…

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

–

You’re single and don’t want to be?

Do something about it.

– Tell your friends (that know you and that you trust) that you don’t want to be single. Ask them to set you up with anyone who they think might be a good match for you. Yes, this can feel scary to do… do it anyways.

– Start living a more authentically aligned life. Be your best self. Go to the places that you know you’ve been meaning to go. Sign up for that class. Go to that gym. Do the things you already want to do. Your type of people will be there, waiting for you.

– Go online. Everyone’s doing it. Don’t bank on this being your only way that you meet people, but allow it to be a supplement. Not sure what to put in your profile? Read this.

You’re in a marriage and the spark is completely gone?

Do something about it.

– Invite a dialogue with your partner. Ask them the thing that you fear the most. “How do you feel about us right now?” “Are you happy with where we’re at?” “How can I be a better partner for you?” It’s your relationship. You know, deep in your bones, where you’re currently at with them. You know what to say better than I do.

– Instigate a regular date night. It might feel awkward at first, but it’ll melt away. Shared experiences always bring people closer.

– See a therapist if you need to. There’s no shame. It’s like online dating… everyone’s doing it.

– Have an honest discussion about your sex life.

You feel like a loser for not having any close friends as an adult?

Do something about it.

– Start revealing your mind to your existing friends. Start cultivating real depth in the relationships that you already have.

– Join a local women’s/men’s group. You’ll learn a lot about yourself.

– Do things that you find fun, outside of your house. You’ll find people that you vibe with.

– Talk about real shit. Drop the mask. Let people know where you’re at. Be honest.

– Realize that it’s completely fine to approach a stranger with “You look interesting and I think we might get a long. I don’t know what else to say other than that. I’m Jack, what’s your name?”

– Stop hiding. Get out there.

You’ve had a crazy bad knot in your back/neck/glute for a year and it isn’t getting any better?

Do something about it.

– Stop ignoring it.

– Book a session with a massage therapist. Or chiropractor. Or acupuncturist. Or your buddy Mikey who has an inversion table. Just do something.

– Can’t afford a massage? Roll around on a hard ball. It’s like self-massage.

– Maybe the knot in your body speaks to a misalignment in your life. Are you spending time with friends you love? Are you doing work you love? Are you doing someone you love? If not, fix that too.

– Are you too sedentary? Go for a walk. For an hour. Every day. And drink water while you’re doing it. And then stretch a bunch afterwards. Not sure how to stretch? Watch YouTube videos. Everything is free these days.

You wish you were making more money?

Do something about it.

– Figure out how to become more valuable at the thing that you do.

– Figure out how to add more value to the job/position/industry/business you work for. Add more value first, create more wealth after. This is the only way that it works. Do the work first. It will happen.

– Pick up a second or third job. Or drop the existing job that is eating your soul and start doing something that you love. The soul income might be worth more to you than a monetary pay raise.

– The internet exists. Use it. Write a book. Create a video course and release it on a site that has existing customers. Create cute shit and sell it on Etsy. If you make something valuable and get it in front of people who want it, you will make money. The internet doesn’t care about your age, race, or gender… the playing field is level. The world is your oyster.

Your kids are being shitty and acting like spoiled brats?

Do something about it.

– Maybe you gave them too much and they’re soft. They need to go through some real living. You have to not give them everything, ever. In order to be resilient human beings, they might need to suffer a bit.

– Do they have bad impulse control? Are they rude to waiters? Maybe they learned those behaviours from you. Children learn from the behaviours that their parents model to them. Audit your own behaviour before you jump down their throat about something. Aka check yo self before you reck yo self.

– Set boundaries. Tell them what is appropriate and what isn’t. If they still push back, then tell them what the consequences are. Healthy boundaries have consequences… otherwise they’re just empty threats.

Your business isn’t going as you hoped it would?

Do something about it.

– Get feedback from your customers. Send them a feedback form. Ask them what they need from you. ‘Writer’s block’ as a concept is a complete myth. You can always create. If you can’t create, it’s because you feel disconnected from yourself and/or the people that you are serving.

– Drop your prices. Maybe you priced based on ego versus based on value.

– Add more value. Seriously. Over and over. Just keep going. Change people’s lives for the better a hundred times and they will fall in love with you. Do it because you love them.

You feel like you need to make a change but you’re not sure how to do it?

– Yes you do. Stop kidding yourself.

– If you really don’t, talk it out with a friend. If that doesn’t help…

– Maybe you need to cultivate some courage, and just take the leap. It won’t necessarily be easy, but it will be worth it. Eventually.

Whatever is going in in your life that you wish were different, you can make it different.

Stop making excuses.

Do something about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. You aren’t sure what to do? Yes you do. Dig deep. You’ll find an answer.

Pps. Still not sure what to do about your situation? Let’s chat.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
8 Ways To Be The Healthiest Person In The World
Dec 21, 2017
Jordan Gray
8 Ways To Be The Healthiest Person In The World
Want to be the healthiest person in the world? Vibrant health comes down to a simple set of conscious choices. But in order to make those choices consistently you have to be able to take charge, stay awake, and push back against your own mind. When it comes to being in the driver's seat of their lives,...
Continue Reading
I’m Done With Love: 5 Tips For When You’re Tired Of Trying
May 10, 2015
Jordan Gray
I’m Done With Love: 5 Tips For When You’re Tired Of Trying
Some of my clients come to me when they’re feeling their most frustrated and hopeless. They repeat the mantras that are graffitied all over the protective walls surrounding their hearts… “There are no good ones left.” “All men are liars.” “Women just want to get close so that they can treat you poorly...
Continue Reading
3 Insanely Powerful Sex Exercises For Men
Jun 24, 2015
Jordan Gray
3 Insanely Powerful Sex Exercises For Men
I’ve written about sex exercises for men in the past, but not like I’m about to today. A lot of men have nerves/anxiety around their sexual performance because they aren’t sure if they’ll be able to have the level of control over their bodies that they hope for. Which makes it so vital to remember the...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
Nov 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Want You To Remember If I Die Young
I’ve lost two close friends over the past few years. One was 25 years old, the other was 30. And, without hyperbole or rose-coloured glasses on my face, I can easily say that they were both some of the best people I have ever known. The kind of people that make me think ‘Only the good die young’...
Continue Reading
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading
Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
Do This One Thing To Make Any Relationship Thrive
When you were born, you had a unique way about you. You spoke in a certain way. You admired others in a certain way. You picked up your food in a certain way. No matter how much your parents, friends, culture, society, and peers tried to shape you into something other than what you were, your unique...
Continue Reading