Oct 1, 2016

Do Something About It

Life expands and contracts to the degree that you courageously move in the direction of your desires.

In other words, you will be consistently rewarded for taking action, or consistently punished for doing nothing.

Even more simply…

If you’re not happy with something in your life…

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You’re single and don’t want to be?

Do something about it.

– Tell your friends (that know you and that you trust) that you don’t want to be single. Ask them to set you up with anyone who they think might be a good match for you. Yes, this can feel scary to do… do it anyways.

– Start living a more authentically aligned life. Be your best self. Go to the places that you know you’ve been meaning to go. Sign up for that class. Go to that gym. Do the things you already want to do. Your type of people will be there, waiting for you.

– Go online. Everyone’s doing it. Don’t bank on this being your only way that you meet people, but allow it to be a supplement. Not sure what to put in your profile? Read this.

You’re in a marriage and the spark is completely gone?

Do something about it.

– Invite a dialogue with your partner. Ask them the thing that you fear the most. “How do you feel about us right now?” “Are you happy with where we’re at?” “How can I be a better partner for you?” It’s your relationship. You know, deep in your bones, where you’re currently at with them. You know what to say better than I do.

– Instigate a regular date night. It might feel awkward at first, but it’ll melt away. Shared experiences always bring people closer.

– See a therapist if you need to. There’s no shame. It’s like online dating… everyone’s doing it.

– Have an honest discussion about your sex life.

You feel like a loser for not having any close friends as an adult?

Do something about it.

– Start revealing your mind to your existing friends. Start cultivating real depth in the relationships that you already have.

– Join a local women’s/men’s group. You’ll learn a lot about yourself.

– Do things that you find fun, outside of your house. You’ll find people that you vibe with.

– Talk about real shit. Drop the mask. Let people know where you’re at. Be honest.

– Realize that it’s completely fine to approach a stranger with “You look interesting and I think we might get a long. I don’t know what else to say other than that. I’m Jack, what’s your name?”

– Stop hiding. Get out there.

You’ve had a crazy bad knot in your back/neck/glute for a year and it isn’t getting any better?

Do something about it.

– Stop ignoring it.

– Book a session with a massage therapist. Or chiropractor. Or acupuncturist. Or your buddy Mikey who has an inversion table. Just do something.

– Can’t afford a massage? Roll around on a hard ball. It’s like self-massage.

– Maybe the knot in your body speaks to a misalignment in your life. Are you spending time with friends you love? Are you doing work you love? Are you doing someone you love? If not, fix that too.

– Are you too sedentary? Go for a walk. For an hour. Every day. And drink water while you’re doing it. And then stretch a bunch afterwards. Not sure how to stretch? Watch YouTube videos. Everything is free these days.

You wish you were making more money?

Do something about it.

– Figure out how to become more valuable at the thing that you do.

– Figure out how to add more value to the job/position/industry/business you work for. Add more value first, create more wealth after. This is the only way that it works. Do the work first. It will happen.

– Pick up a second or third job. Or drop the existing job that is eating your soul and start doing something that you love. The soul income might be worth more to you than a monetary pay raise.

– The internet exists. Use it. Write a book. Create a video course and release it on a site that has existing customers. Create cute shit and sell it on Etsy. If you make something valuable and get it in front of people who want it, you will make money. The internet doesn’t care about your age, race, or gender… the playing field is level. The world is your oyster.

Your kids are being shitty and acting like spoiled brats?

Do something about it.

– Maybe you gave them too much and they’re soft. They need to go through some real living. You have to not give them everything, ever. In order to be resilient human beings, they might need to suffer a bit.

– Do they have bad impulse control? Are they rude to waiters? Maybe they learned those behaviours from you. Children learn from the behaviours that their parents model to them. Audit your own behaviour before you jump down their throat about something. Aka check yo self before you reck yo self.

– Set boundaries. Tell them what is appropriate and what isn’t. If they still push back, then tell them what the consequences are. Healthy boundaries have consequences… otherwise they’re just empty threats.

Your business isn’t going as you hoped it would?

Do something about it.

– Get feedback from your customers. Send them a feedback form. Ask them what they need from you. ‘Writer’s block’ as a concept is a complete myth. You can always create. If you can’t create, it’s because you feel disconnected from yourself and/or the people that you are serving.

– Drop your prices. Maybe you priced based on ego versus based on value.

– Add more value. Seriously. Over and over. Just keep going. Change people’s lives for the better a hundred times and they will fall in love with you. Do it because you love them.

You feel like you need to make a change but you’re not sure how to do it?

– Yes you do. Stop kidding yourself.

– If you really don’t, talk it out with a friend. If that doesn’t help…

– Maybe you need to cultivate some courage, and just take the leap. It won’t necessarily be easy, but it will be worth it. Eventually.

Whatever is going in in your life that you wish were different, you can make it different.

Stop making excuses.

Do something about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. You aren’t sure what to do? Yes you do. Dig deep. You’ll find an answer.

Pps. Still not sure what to do about your situation? Let’s chat.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Striving vs. Contentment - How To Be Driven And Happy At The Same Time
Nov 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Striving vs. Contentment – How To Be Driven And Happy At The Same Time
How do you find a balance between striving for greatness and finding contentment in the present moment? Striving, or whatever you want to call it- being driven, yearning, reaching for the stars- comes at a cost if you don't balance it with enjoying what you have already achieved. Whether you are...
Continue Reading
4 Things To Never Say To A Man 
Feb 15, 2024
Jordan Gray
4 Things To Never Say To A Man 
In the delicate dance of communication, some missteps can lead to a full stop.  There are some words that, when said, rapidly destroy connection. What are they? You might be able to guess one of them. Possibly two if you’re already a serious student of the intricacies of men. But if used in conjunction,...
Continue Reading
What You Can Learn About Love From Watching 'The Bachelor'
Mar 5, 2014
Jordan Gray
What You Can Learn About Love From Watching ‘The Bachelor’
People are inherently lazy. We want to do as little as possible for the promise of maximum results achieved. Work out once a week and get ripped. Get rich while you sleep. Find your dream partner in a day. And while all of these things are certainly possible, they tend to require an initial...
Continue Reading
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
Nov 12, 2019
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
"How do I keep the sexual spark and passion alive in my relationship?" This is one of the most asked questions by couples who've passed the first-year milestone. When they started dating, there was an automatic flurry of sexual sparks. They fucked like bunnies - every night, and every morning....
Continue Reading
Should You Date A Driven Woman?
Apr 30, 2014
Jordan Gray
Should You Date A Driven Woman?
Should you date a driven woman, or someone who is more relaxed than you? As someone who already lives their life full throttle, it can be confusing as to whether you should be with someone who can keep up with your levelled up lifestyle, or if you need someone to counteract your high-achieving ways. There...
Continue Reading
Why People Don't Get The Life They Say They Want (5 Reasons)
Aug 19, 2024
Jordan Gray
Why People Don’t Get The Life They Say They Want (5 Reasons)
Few things are more tender, or more meaningful, to us than our heart's deepest dreams. In fact, the tenderness of our desires is so real that we often find sneaky, subtle ways to side-step them completely. Have you ever known someone who said, for years, that they wanted something more than anything? And...
Continue Reading