Want to be in the best shape ever so that your sex life can flourish? This article will give you the highest leverage hacks you can implement to do just that.
Many men worry about appearing too high maintenance when it comes to their self-care… but high maintenance equals high performance. Take care of your body and your body will take care of you.
I’m not talking about looking like a magazine model. I’m talking about feeling vibrant, alive, sexual, and pain-free.
A thriving sex life hinges on much more than just sexual technique. Yes, navigating your partner’s vagina as if your name was Dr. Grafenberg is useful, or being able to smooth talk like Ryan Gosling, but those are advanced skills built on a massive core foundation of physical vitality. Knowing where the G-spot is is one thing… but if your forearm doesn’t have the stamina to be flexed for longer than three minutes at a time without cramping, then you’re in for a rude awakening.
These higher level abilities also require presence, awareness, and moment to moment intuition, which are cultivated by minimizing stress and taking care of yourself.
Pretty much any woman will tell you it’s the energy their partner brings that makes for the best sex, not some never-been-done-before clitoral gymnastics, or rocking six-pack abs.
In men, levels of social confidence and sex drive are linked to a group of hormones called androgens, and testosterone (T) is the biggest player. Due to stress, poor diet, and lack of exercise, most modern men are wildly deficient.
When you’re in great shape, and make time to relax, testosterone flows, and strength, stamina, and passion are at your disposal. Your raw desire and playfulness can be fully expressed.
So if you’re feeling a lack of mojo, have trouble with erections, or get fatigued, cramped up, or stiff during sex, it’s time to pump the tires!
1. Exercise
Working out is crucial to sexual health for two reasons. One, it gives you a general sense of feeling strong, capable, and in control, which breeds more confidence. Second, it boosts your T levels and chemically unlocks a sexier, bolder, more sexually desiring you.
When you stress muscles by working out, the fibres tear. In response, the body releases testosterone to regulate the process of protein synthesis and muscle repair. But beyond fixing muscles, studies show elevated testosterone levels are correlated with traits like aggression, sexuality, and high social status.
Most importantly, to properly execute these workouts, you’ll have to switch on beast mode. Dig deep into your primal energy and push yourself to the limit. Get angry. Grunt. The gym serves as a dojo to test and train your inner animal. At the very least, it’s highly therapeutic.
Here are the four highest leverage exercises you can do to boost your sex hormones and optimize your overall health:
A) Squats
The legs and core have some of the biggest muscles in the body. For fat burning and T boosting, nothing beats squatting.
If you’ve never done them, weighted squats might seem a bit intimidating. Start by air squatting (without weight). It’s still an insanely powerful workout that you can do anywhere. If you don’t believe me, try doing 100 of them in 2 minutes (oh you’ll feel it alright).
Without proper technique, squats can wreak havoc on your knees and back. If you don’t have a friend who can teach you, find some video tutorials online (like this one), or hire a trainer at your local gym for even one session. They can run you through proper form for all these workouts before you go off and do them yourself.
Also important, start with light weights. Never lift an amount that makes you compromise your technique.
B) Deadlifts
Deadlifts are another total-body workout that will rock you from top to bottom. Many trainers say if people had to do just one exercise, this would be it.
Like the squat, this one could be hard on your body if you don’t have proper form. Find a solid video tutorial, or get personal coaching at the gym. You should be activating/flexing your whole body to protect your joints and get the most benefit from this lift.
C) Pushups
The pushup is one of the most common and widespread exercises for a good reason. If you’re doing it right, this is a phenomenal upper body workout you can bust out anywhere, anytime.
Lay face down and place the palms of your hand on either side of your chest. Spread your fingers wide, with the middle pointing forward.
Keep your back straight. When you push up, your entire body should be a solid plank from head to heel, with the core engaged. Make things more interesting by moving as slowly as possible, without breaking form, as well as moving your hands wider, closer, or fully together.
When you come down, your elbows should be bent at a 90 degree angle. Your hips should never drop and create a curve in your spine. If you need to start slower, put your knees down and keep the plank posture. Repeat to failure.
D) Pull ups
While being interviewed about his workout routines on The Tim Ferriss Show, Jamie Foxx said that, when it came to physique, “pull ups are everything.”
They blast the entire upper body – strengthening your core, flattening your stomach, supercharging your lats, pumping your back and creating great overall definition and tone.
Like the other three exercises, flex your entire body during the movement, not just your arms and shoulders. Your core muscles and backs of your legs should be taught and supportive.
2. Stretch
Cardio and weight training go a long way in setting you up for great sex. But flexibility and suppleness are just as important, especially if you’ve been hitting the gym hard. Cramps, tension, and neck and back pain kill the moment just as often as exhaustion if you aren’t stretching regularly.
More importantly, stretching melts hypertension caused by stress, which is one of the primary killers of your libido/erections. Opening up the flow of energy in your body, via stretching, will redirect all of that misplaced stiffness straight to your genitals.
A) Thread The Needle
This hip opening stretch is essential for anyone who sits a lot during the day. It will open up your pelvis and lower back for prime thrusting potential when engaging in positions like missionary.
To set up, lay on your back and bend your knees, keeping your feet on the floor. Place the outside of one ankle on the opposite thigh, just above the knee. Wrap one arm around the thigh, and the other through the triangular hole formed by the bent leg, and grab your shin. Gently pull toward your chest and lengthen your spine. You should feel a solid stretch through the hamstring, hip and low back.
B) Bridge pose
This is a good counter stretch to thread the needle and also makes for a better thrust game. Bridge pose opens up the front of the pelvis, while strengthening the lower back, core, and legs.
From the same starting pose as thread the needle, lie on your back with your knees bent and your arms flat alongside your body. While keeping your knees together, lift and tuck your pelvis as high as you can and hold steady. Pretend you’re trying to touch your butt to the ceiling, while simultaneously engaging your core and pointing your penis towards your face. Slowly lower back down, rest, and start again.
C) Jaw Massage
For better oral sex, both men and women can massively benefit from jaw massage. The jaw is an extremely common place to hold chronic tension (especially if you haven’t been processing your anger). Cramps in this area are the most common limiter on oral performance.
There are two main trigger points you want to target:
– Below the earlobe, at the back of the jawbone, and
– In the side of the cheek just past the molars.
Open your mouth halfway and firmly press your pointer and middle fingers into either spot. You should find some tenderness very quickly. Gently massage the area, or hold firm acupressure for 20-30 seconds at a time and breathe through the sensation you feel.
For the spot in the cheek, locate your upper molars from the outside, then push up and toward the back of your head. To easily find the target muscles, flex them by gently clenching your teeth.
D) Foam Rolling & Acupressure Balls
A self-massage kit is the best $20 you’ll ever spend. With a foam roller and massage balls, so much of our aches, pains, and tension can be released in a matter of minutes in the comfort of our own homes.
There are tons of tutorials online for what spots to work and how to work them.
Pro tip #1: In each session, go deep and slow in one targeted area, rather than doing a little bit everywhere. At first, the parts of your body that need the most work will feel very, very uncomfortable, so your first instinct might be to avoid them. But long term change and tension release will only come from focus. Pick the neck, shoulder blades, back, glutes, hamstrings, quads, or calves, and give them the attention they deserve.
Pro tip #2: BREATHE!
3. Lifestyle practices
Outside of the gym, how we live our lives day-to-day drastically affects how we feel about ourselves, and the sex we do or don’t have. Here are a few reminders to keep you at your best.
Slow down. How much awareness are you bringing to what you do, versus running on autopilot? Are you overloading your calendar and burning out? It’s better to do a few things with intention, than a ton of things with an absent mind. Getting things done well breeds confidence. Plus, chunking your workload will also slash your stress levels in half.
Before you go to bed, write a list of three things you want to get done the next day. Put the biggest, most important task first. This helps guarantee you’ll get the hard work out of the way, while consistently making you feel like a champ for getting things done. Take it one day at a time.
Meditate. It doesn’t have to be for an hour a day. Even just 5 minutes will bring noticeable benefits. You’ll more easily recognize limiting and negative thought loops, while sharpening overall cognition. You’ll also become more acutely aware of your emotions and gut instinct.
Play.
If you, like many people over the age of 18, have found a way to convince yourself that life is super serious business… and that there’s no room for such frivolous things like play, rest, or down time, I would implore you to reconsider your stance.
One of my favourite quotes on the subject of play comes from Dr. Stuart Brown… “The opposite of play isn’t work. It’s depression.”
Whatever habit you need to cultivate in your life to achieve some more unstructured play time, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Your heart, soul, and mind need a sense of play in order to truly thrive.
Just a few months back I picked up an electric skateboard (called a Boosted Board) that I had been eyeing for a few months, and upon purchasing it and taking it out for a ride, immediately felt like I had been transported back to being a carefree 13 year old. It was so much fun! I was beaming from ear to ear for days.
Now, whenever I catch myself thinking that life is really serious, I pick up my board and head out on the open read (with a helmet of course).
So find your practice that makes hours fly by like minutes. It can be a solo hobby (like finger painting, crafting, engaging in wood work, or cooking) or something that requires other people (like badminton, playing board games, doing karaoke, or playing tag). It all works, as long as it induces a joyous sense of flow for you.
Make your word good. Follow through on what you say you’re going to do. Being in integrity is a foundational pillar of building true confidence. You can’t share love, trust, and connection with other people if you don’t first have it with yourself. And if you chronically lie through your teeth, your boners will suffer (seriously).
4. Diet
The quality of your thoughts, mood and strength of willpower changes depending on what goes into your body. Again, this is not just about being trim and muscular.This is about affecting how you feel internally, and your experience of life itself.
The standard Western diet is rich in processed science experiments and artificial sugars. Over millions of years of human evolution, our bodies have thrived off of nuts, fruits, plants and animals that were locally available in a natural environment. There were no pesticides or preservatives.
We’ve also been talking about how exercise triggers testosterone release. But the body can’t release what it hasn’t made. To create more, we need to get the right ingredients into the kitchen.
Eat naturally, whenever possible. Focus on veggies (especially cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and greens). Find a butcher shop that sells grass fed, pasture-raised meat. Eat plenty of eggs (from free-run, hormone-free chickens, if they’re available). Snack on nuts and seeds. Cook with olive and coconut oil. Use them liberally in salad dressings. Indulge occasionally, but consume minimal processed shit.
Barbecuing up a storm. It took me less than twenty minutes to grill up these steaks and an assortment of veggies.
Drink lots of water. The body needs water to function properly and detoxify. Tea, coffee, juice, and pop are not substitutes for plain H2O. Aim for 2-3 litres (1/2 gallon) per day. You’ll notice a drastic difference within just 7 days.
Shopping Tip: Most grocery stores and supermarkets have similar layouts. When you buy your food, stick to the outside walls of the store – vegetables, fruits, and meat/fish/protein. Everything in the centre aisles is generally packaged and highly processed.
If you stick with this diet, and exercise regularly, most of the crap you used to eat won’t even feel appetizing any more. Stick with it.
5. Supplement
Eating a natural diet is crucial. But supplementing core vitamins and minerals is too. While produce might look the same as it always has, it often actually contains much less of the vitamins and nutrients than it did a few decades ago. That’s the collateral damage of modern farming practices and processing methods.
There are also a couple items in this list that will crank up testosterone and make you feel like a fucking powerhouse.
– Ashwagandha. This ancient Indian herb is a total powerhouse. It fights hypertension, stress, depression, cancer, and inflammation. Men have been used it for years as a fertility booster to strengthen erections and libido. I personally take two capsules every night before bed (it also helps me sleep better).
– Pine pollen. Much like ashwagandha, ancient Chinese medicine has used pine pollen for centuries for many reasons. It boosts the brain, sex hormones and overall energy. It’s also anti-aging, while aiding the digestive, cardiovascular, and immune systems. Take this before the gym, or a date, and you’ll see why this is a mandatory addition to your arsenal.
– Maca Root Powder. Ancient Aztec warriors used to crush this stuff before going into battle. Enough said. It’s been used since ancient times to boost libido, increase energy, enhance mood and memory. It’s also a source of Vitamin C, copper, iron, and antioxidants. Maca is also a great coffee replacement.
– C, D, E and A Vitamins. These support the immune system, organ and brain function, while being powerful antioxidants.
– Magnesium Bisglycinate. Because of the quality of most modern soil, without supplementation, we’re all magnesium deficient. Your body needs magnesium for proper cell, nerve, bone, muscle and heart functioning (and literally hundreds of other things). Most importantly, it improves quality of sleep, helps the body cope with stress, and alleviates symptoms of depression.
– Beetroot extract improves circulation and stamina, while lowering blood pressure. It’s wickedly high leverage because it contains tons of important things the modern body is deficient in, like potassium, magnesium, iron, calcium, protein and folic acid, as well as A, B and C vitamins.
Take action right now. Go on Amazon and add some of those supplements to your cart. Get a foam roller and a yoga mat for stretching. Make that list of things you need to clean up and get done in your life.
Print this article and keep a hard copy somewhere you can see it every day.
Above all, stay committed. Your strongest, most vibrant, and sexiest self is within your grasp.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love checking out:
– Supercharge Your Sex Life (video series for men)
– The Better Sex Diet: Exactly What I Eat Every Day
– 5 Weird Stress Busting Techniques You’ve Never Heard Of
– The Single Greatest Health Investment You Could Ever Make (Vitamix Review)
– The 7 Best Stretches For Better Sex
