Jul 15, 2013

Growth vs. Safety - The Two Paths That Determine Your Success

In any moment you are either choosing between growth, or safety.

And more often than not, most people choose safety.

You could travel the world and learn about yourself!  But… you might get kidnapped so never mind.

You could quit your day job and become self-employed!  But… that sounds scary and you want to make sure that you can pay your rent.

You could make getting into a relationship a priority and find the deepest, most loving relationship of your life!  But… opening up is scary and they might break your heart.

As far as we know we only get one pass at this living thing.  And guess what… you could be hit by a bus next week.

If you don’t choose growth then you are guaranteeing that you will stay stuck.  You will wake up a year from now exactly as you were… in a state of passive limbo.

And I’m not a believer in passive living.

So to ensure your forthcoming unstuck-ness when it comes to deciding between your two paths…

Here are three ways to ensure that you are choosing growth more often than safety in your life (and becoming superhuman in the process)…

1. Iron Out Your Wrinkles

If you were a dress shirt, where would you need to iron yourself out?

Where do you feel inconsistent?  Lacking?  Incongruent with your core self?  What areas of your life do you feel apprehensive talking about with people that you respect?

Everyone has things that they know they want to improve on.  The thoughts that pop up on a daily basis that you’ve become so good at pushing away.

Something is nagging at you and it’s there for a reason.  It wants you to hear it and take action.

It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the dream may seem.  The only ridiculous part is you not listening to your deepest desires day after day.

2. Commit To The First Step

One of my earliest mentors, Eben Pagan, taught me that “Doing something 99% of the way is hard as hell, but 100% is easy”.

Every plan seems terrifying until you commit to it.  Even if it seems like there might be a thousand steps between you and your ultimate goal, take the first one.  The easiest one.  The one that makes your heart beat faster, but just a little bit.

Put on your gym clothes.  Start a savings account.  Say hi to the cute girl you see (and only “hi”).  Whatever your first step is, do it.  Like, now o’clock.

3. Take The Leap

Remember how when you were young they told you you could be whatever you wanted to be when you grew up?

The scariest part about that is that it’s true.

It might not end up looking exactly like what you imagined… but you can get married/hired/healthy pretty damn fast if you put enough focused energy towards it.

Society likes to make it seem like an easy process.  And it isn’t.  Nothing in life worth having ever comes free.

You CAN get rich quick.  But you can’t get rich easy.

You CAN get married quick.  But not without putting in a lot of work into yourself and your process.

You CAN get the six-pack abs.  But you’ll feel like giving up thousands of times before seeing the results.

After you take the first step, you have to take the second.  And the fifth.  And the hundredth.

There is no substitute for putting in the work.  And you’ll have to do just that.

Hold Yourself To A Higher Standard

When I began to hate my old ‘job’ so much that it started to give me regular panic attacks, I hauled ass out of there.

My rational mind was telling me to do the right thing… wait until I had secured a new source of income before I left… wait until my mind settled down a bit.  Anything… just not growth!   Safety is so comfortable!

But I dragged my life kicking and screaming through that threshold.  And ten countries and four books later, it was so worth it.

Because it’s always worth it.

So what action are you looking forward to taking in your life?  Scary as it may be, you know it will transform your life.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Event vs. Process: The 1 Way To Success In Any Area Of Life
Mar 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
Event vs. Process: The 1 Way To Success In Any Area Of Life
Our society is obsessed with quick fixes. Everyone is after the “one thing”… the single solution… the silver bullet that solves all of their problems. And while isolated experiences, conversations, or well-timed thoughts can absolutely have the power to massively shift the direction of our lives, successful...
Continue Reading
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
Dec 26, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
2016 was a massive year of growth for me. Many big wins and many big challenges. On the wins side... I helped more people this past year than I had cumulatively helped in my previous six years of coaching combined, I cultivated a deep sense of community for the first time in my adult life, I lived...
Continue Reading
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
Dec 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
The majority of the world lives paycheque to paycheque with little to no savings in the bank. And not having money sucks. Imagine waking up in the morning with zero debt. Imagine never having to worry about how you are going to pay for your rent/mortgage/groceries ever again. Imagine waking up with...
Continue Reading
I Promise To Never Be Lazy In Loving You
Jan 22, 2017
Jordan Gray
I Promise To Never Be Lazy In Loving You
I promise to see into your soul on a daily basis. I promise to ask you how your day was, and give you all of the presence of attention at my disposal. I promise to always take good care of myself, and to lean on others for support. I promise to come to you for support when I need it. I promise to...
Continue Reading
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
Nov 12, 2014
Jordan Gray
Is The World Really Ready For Emotional Men?
I was having a conversation with a close friend recently when he posed the question to me… “Is the world really ready for emotional men?” There are so many factors playing into this question (and answer), but I will gladly venture in and lay open this topic. First of all, yes, I do believe...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Increase Your Value In The Dating Market
May 5, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Increase Your Value In The Dating Market
(Trigger warning for people who fear hard truths, self-responsibility, and tough love.) Allllllllright… I just got a reader email that made my blood boil. So this is going to be a rant. But don’t worry… it’ll be a valuable rant. Here we go. This email (from Laurie in San Diego, CA) landed...
Continue Reading