Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Ways NoFap Improves Your Relationship (And Your Life)
Jul 16, 2020
Jordan Gray
7 Ways NoFap Improves Your Relationship (And Your Life)
Think your chronic masturbation habit could be negatively impacting your relationship? Well, you may be right. And you’re also not alone. If you don’t spend much time on internet forums, you probably missed the millions of men who have already been sharing their struggles in love and sex, and...
Continue Reading
3 Good Reasons You Should Have Quickies More Often
Sep 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
3 Good Reasons You Should Have Quickies More Often
As much as I have written about spoiling sessions, extended sex dates, and becoming an expert on your partner’s sexual arousal, there’s something that I feel like I have left out of the equation from my writing. That’s right… quickies. It’s easy for quickies to get the cold shoulder. They might not...
Continue Reading
Stretch Your Opposites
Nov 16, 2018
Jordan Gray
Stretch Your Opposites
It’s easy to become complacent in life.  It’s easy to just go back to sleep and chronically neglect your growth edges. Laziness is our default. Psychological sleepiness plagues our world. Entropy is real. And if we aren’t consciously shaking up our routines every now and...
Continue Reading
The Best Way To Get Unstuck (The Compass Exercise)
May 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Best Way To Get Unstuck (The Compass Exercise)
I often create verbal and written exercises for my clients to discover new things about themselves.  I came up with this one a few weeks ago and it has been giving a lot of different people a bunch of break throughs. Give it a shot and you just might learn something about yourself (Introspection YAY!) Heads...
Continue Reading
What's A Praise Kink & 121 Sexy Praise Kink Phrases
Jul 21, 2024
Jordan Gray
What’s A Praise Kink & 121 Sexy Praise Kink Phrases
Ever heard of a praise kink? While the phrase and concept was originally born out of the BDSM community, a praise kink is proof that kinksters aren't all about rough-and-tumble, heavy-handed dominance and submission. In fact, many subsets of kink are about healing and integration (arguably all...
Continue Reading
5 Questions That Will Give You Depth In Conversation
Jul 29, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Questions That Will Give You Depth In Conversation
The art of conversation is a dying one. People's attention spans have been hacked to pieces by billboards, smart phones, and endless digital pings… and deep conversation has been the primary casualty of our waning patience.  Which means (good news!) it's never been easier to stand out from others...
Continue Reading