Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
Jan 14, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Ways Your Amazon Gift Cards Can Improve Your Love Life
I received this letter from one of my coaching clients a few days ago, and I wanted to share my super-dense response with you here... "Hi Jordan. I was gifted several Amazon gift cards for Christmas and, being new to the Amazon/online-shopping-ecosphere, I was curious as to what you would...
Continue Reading
9 Practical Ways To Be More Present In Your Life
Aug 11, 2018
Jordan Gray
9 Practical Ways To Be More Present In Your Life
I once worked with a man (who I will call Tom) who lived in San Francisco. Tom would wake up in the morning to his ringing iPhone alarm, roll over, and immediately check his text messages, his Instagram, and then his two email accounts (in that order). The texts were usually from his friends, the...
Continue Reading
Stop Hoping For An Easy Life
Jan 10, 2019
Jordan Gray
Stop Hoping For An Easy Life
Today, more than ever, people are psychologically soft. We have been raised in a time of unprecedented ease, comfort, and convenience. We are, on a daily basis, guarded from the painful realities of life. We avoid real-time romantic rejection by swiping left and right on the faces of strangers. We...
Continue Reading
The Ultimate Guide To Boosting Testosterone Naturally (7 Steps)
Nov 24, 2018
Jordan Gray
The Ultimate Guide To Boosting Testosterone Naturally (7 Steps)
One year ago, I embarked on a testosterone boosting mission. My question was simple... "By exclusively using science-backed, natural methods, can I double my testosterone levels, without using any drugs, steroids, SARMS, or any other questionable methods that produce long-term damage...
Continue Reading
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Aug 19, 2014
Jordan Gray
10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship
Let’s face it... we all love taking short cuts. And, if we aren't careful, our relationships are often taken for granted. But too many short cuts can lead to a lazy, unintentional relationship that merely exists, instead of thrives. If you want to shed years of emotional baggage, feel loved and...
Continue Reading
All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It
Mar 14, 2016
Jordan Gray
All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It
I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime. You’ve probably been through a lot of challenging things too. That’s just the nature of being a human being who has lived for more than a few years. Life is messy. None of us get through unscathed. We all collect wounds and scar tissue throughout our lives, be...
Continue Reading