Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
I’m Done With Love: 5 Tips For When You’re Tired Of Trying
May 10, 2015
Jordan Gray
I’m Done With Love: 5 Tips For When You’re Tired Of Trying
Some of my clients come to me when they’re feeling their most frustrated and hopeless. They repeat the mantras that are graffitied all over the protective walls surrounding their hearts… “There are no good ones left.” “All men are liars.” “Women just want to get close so that they can treat you poorly...
Continue Reading
The Single Best Sex Toy For Couples (Crescendo Review)
Jul 30, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Single Best Sex Toy For Couples (Crescendo Review)
Shortly after the release of my two articles The Best Sex Toy For Men, Ever, and The Best Sex Toy For Women, Ever, I received this question from a long-time reader: "Do you know of any sex toys that both men and women can benefit from? As in, one toy, that both a man and...
Continue Reading
The Single Most Damaging Thing I Learned As A Pickup Artist
Aug 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Single Most Damaging Thing I Learned As A Pickup Artist
From 2009-2012 I worked as a pickup artist. Technically, it was a milder version of pickup. We taught social skills (conversational agility, eye contact, humour, body language, etc.) to people with some level of social anxiety but it was almost always within the context of approaching and dating women. And...
Continue Reading
In Praise Of Praise
Nov 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
In Praise Of Praise
I met a recently engaged couple while living in Thailand earlier this year. I asked Phil to share his favourite thing about his fiancee, Emily, and he was quick to answer. “Emily is really nurturing and patient with me. She’s very sweet to me when I need it the most.” Emily was completely taken aback....
Continue Reading
Event vs. Process: The 1 Way To Success In Any Area Of Life
Mar 6, 2016
Jordan Gray
Event vs. Process: The 1 Way To Success In Any Area Of Life
Our society is obsessed with quick fixes. Everyone is after the “one thing”… the single solution… the silver bullet that solves all of their problems. And while isolated experiences, conversations, or well-timed thoughts can absolutely have the power to massively shift the direction of our lives, successful...
Continue Reading
Submissive Dirty Talk: 171 Sexy Things To Say To Him
Sep 1, 2024
Jordan Gray
Submissive Dirty Talk: 171 Sexy Things To Say To Him
In this article, you'll discover 171 examples of submissive dirty talk phrases you can use in your sex life. Some phrases are more gentle, vanilla, and soft (easier for beginners), and others are more advanced and naughty. Regardless of if you're brand new to Dom/sub play or if you're an experienced...
Continue Reading