Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
How To Give A Woman A Sensual Massage
Jul 16, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Give A Woman A Sensual Massage
If you want to give a woman the night of her life and turn her into a blissed-out puddle of mush (that will be talking to her friends about you for weeks afterward), then look no further than the sensual massage. Everybody likes sex, but the dynamic of a sensual massage is something entirely different....
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Obstacles Impeding Men's Development Today
Jun 15, 2020
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Obstacles Impeding Men’s Development Today
If you’re a modern man, you’ve probably noticed how hard it can be to make real progress on your most significant goals. Do you feel like nothing is changing in your life, despite having good intentions? Or like you’re just crawling along in first gear, and not feeling enough traction or aliveness? Or...
Continue Reading
7 Reasons Life Gets Easier With Age
Sep 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Reasons Life Gets Easier With Age
A few years ago my 50+ year old dad told me that he had never been happier at any other point in his life, and I thought that he was kidding himself. How could this be? As you get older, everyone you know starts to die… you only get more responsibility and things to manage… and you get all saggy and...
Continue Reading
What's A Praise Kink & 121 Sexy Praise Kink Phrases
Jul 21, 2024
Jordan Gray
What’s A Praise Kink & 121 Sexy Praise Kink Phrases
Ever heard of a praise kink? While the phrase and concept was originally born out of the BDSM community, a praise kink is proof that kinksters aren't all about rough-and-tumble, heavy-handed dominance and submission. In fact, many subsets of kink are about healing and integration (arguably all...
Continue Reading
In Praise Of Praise
Nov 26, 2013
Jordan Gray
In Praise Of Praise
I met a recently engaged couple while living in Thailand earlier this year. I asked Phil to share his favourite thing about his fiancee, Emily, and he was quick to answer. “Emily is really nurturing and patient with me. She’s very sweet to me when I need it the most.” Emily was completely taken aback....
Continue Reading
Own The Part Of You That Wants To Remain A Child Forever
Feb 24, 2020
Jordan Gray
Own The Part Of You That Wants To Remain A Child Forever
There is a part in all of us that wants to remain a child forever. Chopping the food and tending the fire brings its own satisfaction... but a part of us just wants the resulting warmth, without all of the effort. Wouldn't it be nice to have your dream relationship run on autopilot... without having...
Continue Reading