Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
Dec 7, 2025
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
High achievers have a consistent problem that not enough people talk about publicly. They're disciplined, capable, responsible... and yet somehow still exhausted. They often have a million balls they're juggling in the air (people they're responsible for, livelihoods they support, people who come to...
Continue Reading
9 Bad Blowjob Tips You Should Totally Ignore
Jul 25, 2024
Jordan Gray
9 Bad Blowjob Tips You Should Totally Ignore
Magazines and the internet are filled with bad blowjob tips. And not just bad like mildly sub-par... I mean bad like, "If you do some of these things you could do permanent psychological damage to him" (especially tip #4). But how do we know which tips are worth their salt and which ones are...
Continue Reading
The One Practice That Saves More Relationships Than Anything Else
May 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
The One Practice That Saves More Relationships Than Anything Else
People often ask me “What’s the one piece of advice you’d give for people to have the best relationship possible?” I dislike the paint by numbers approach because every relationship needs different things. It’s all so personalized. There is no magic bullet that will make sense for every recipient at...
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Nov 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Things That Hold People Back From Actually Growing
Everyone wants to grow. Everyone wants to improve. Everyone wants to have a better life. But desire alone only takes us so far along our path. It's common in our growth trajectories to have common roadblocks come up that hold us back from obtaining the next layer of healing, or level of expansion. In...
Continue Reading
The One Thing To Remember When You’re Dealing With Any Person, Ever
Oct 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
The One Thing To Remember When You’re Dealing With Any Person, Ever
There’s a coffee shop down the street from where I live that I frequently go to get some writing done in the morning. I went there a few days ago and something strange happened. The barista behind the counter was the same one I interacted with almost every time that I came in. We were on a first name...
Continue Reading
How To Give A Woman A Sensual Massage
Jul 16, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Give A Woman A Sensual Massage
If you want to give a woman the night of her life and turn her into a blissed-out puddle of mush (that will be talking to her friends about you for weeks afterward), then look no further than the sensual massage. Everybody likes sex, but the dynamic of a sensual massage is something entirely different....
Continue Reading