Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
121 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner
Sep 17, 2024
Jordan Gray
121 Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner
Looking for some deep questions to ask your partner for greater connection and intimacy? I’ve got you covered! Whether you want to spice up date night with a question or two, or make an entire weekend-long deep-dive date out of these questions, there’s something in it for everyone. While they are meant...
Continue Reading
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
Feb 21, 2020
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Build Emotional Resilience (And Become Unfuckwithable)
To be alive is to be at constant risk of facing intense pain. Hard things will happen to all of us. Buddha’s first noble truth said it well: “Life is suffering.” Unforeseen tragedy will strike. The people you love will eventually pass away, or become sick. Some things you’ve worked on for years will...
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Get More Blowjobs From Your Partner
Mar 28, 2020
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Get More Blowjobs From Your Partner
“Show me a man who doesn’t secretly wish he got more blowjobs, and I’ll eat my left sandal.” - Jesus Oh, how true. That one stands the test of time. For men, that truth is multiplied tenfold when in a relationship. Because a lot of guys have trouble expressing their desire for oral sex, this turns...
Continue Reading
Sometimes Seeds Get Planted In Our Heads
Jul 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
Sometimes Seeds Get Planted In Our Heads
Growing up, in my earliest years, my sister was like a second mom to me. She would carry me around, tie my shoes, and play games with me endlessly. At a certain age, my older brother decided that I was annoying and he started to tease me behind my parents backs. My sister, understandably not wanting...
Continue Reading
5 Questions To Ask Your Partner For Better Sex
Aug 2, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Questions To Ask Your Partner For Better Sex
Sex doesn’t get talked about enough. The word ‘communication’ can be found in 99% of modern relationship advice/literature… but it’s rarely to do with our sex lives. It’s usually focused around dissolving conflict, going deeper in your relationship, or expressing jealousy. All of which are totally valid...
Continue Reading
7 Things To Do If You Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Your Partner
Feb 16, 2020
Jordan Gray
7 Things To Do If You Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Your Partner
Many couples struggle with reconciling large imbalances in their sex drives. Often the man is stereotyped with having a much higher libido. But sometimes it can be the woman. And it’s also not a static thing where each person just stays “that way” forever. It’s common for the sexual energy to ebb and...
Continue Reading