Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
3 Reasons Why You Don't Actually Have Commitment Issues
May 28, 2013
Jordan Gray
3 Reasons Why You Don’t Actually Have Commitment Issues
We live in a problem-centric society that wears it's issues like badges of honour. People are quick to label themselves and others with these badges because it's hip to be messed up (ex. Jersey Shore, Texts From Last Night).  It gives people a sense of importance to be able to talk about their struggles. Several...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Relationship Tools That Work Fast
Jun 18, 2025
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Relationship Tools That Work Fast
Many people think that their relationship will improve when the big things in life change. When they move to a new house, make more money, or finally take that long-overdue vacation. Then, they tell themselves, they'll have the time and space to put more...
Continue Reading
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
Mar 24, 2019
Jordan Gray
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
I was talking to a client the other week, and he mentioned that he regretted a year long relationship that had recently come to an end in his life. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard someone saying that they wished they could undo the fact that an intimate relationship had taken place. If this is...
Continue Reading
9 Ways Anyone Can Instantly Be More Attractive
Dec 4, 2017
Jordan Gray
9 Ways Anyone Can Instantly Be More Attractive
With a title like 9 Ways Anyone Can Instantly Be More Attractive, you would think that I would pull a switcheroo and exclusively talk about the importance of feeling your feelings, self-love, character development, and being in integrity and generally feeling alive in your life. You know... things that...
Continue Reading
The 3 Biggest Myths About Men
Jul 22, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Biggest Myths About Men
Myths about men run rampant in Western society. “Men are liars.” “Men are stupid.” “Men only want one thing.” The only way for true gender equality to surface is to come to a mutual awareness of each other’s struggles and then do our best to shield ourselves from the cultural conditioning and ease...
Continue Reading
7 Things You Can Do Right Now To Be Better In Bed
Aug 26, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Things You Can Do Right Now To Be Better In Bed
Let’s face it… our current sexual education system is completely broken. Between rom-coms, pornography, and the half-assed ‘talk’ we get from our well-meaning parents, the sexual information we learn throughout our formative years leaves much to the imagination. The effect? Generations of unaware...
Continue Reading