Apr 20, 2015

How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner

A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that.

It was from this period of time that I first learned what experiencing burnout felt like.

For those of you who haven’t experienced it, burnout feels like physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. You feel ineffective, lethargic, and unproductive. It’s as if your body and mind start saying “No” to you because you haven’t been setting appropriate boundaries in your life.

But instead of taking time off from building my business (the logical thing to do), I began to study how to recharge my energetic batteries the most efficiently.

What I discovered would change my work habits, and ultimately my intimate relationship, forever.

What High Performance Athletes Can Teach You About Improving Your Love Life

In my research, I found out that high performance athletes recharge on three unique time cycles to rest and repair the most efficiently.

They rest in nano cycles, micro cycles, and macro cycles. Let me explain.

Resting in nano cycles means taking a break every hour or so (short-term) or several breaks throughout the day.

Resting in micro cycles means taking time off every week to recharge on a deeper level (medium-term).

And resting in macro cycles means recharging on an even deeper level on a quarterly or annual cycle (long-term).

So what does this have to do with making you a more loving intimate partner?

If you take this same approach with reconnecting with your significant other, your relationship will always be prioritized in a way that serves it.

Nano cycles: Set daily reminders in your phone to think of your partner, give them praise, or add value to their lives. When you leave the house, really kiss them goodbye and be present with your love for them for a moment. Before you go to bed at night, make sure that you physically and emotionally connect before you fall asleep.

Micro cycles: On a weekly basis, make sure you’re clearing the air between you two by having intentional conversations about your relationship. Plan sex dates in your calendar so you can build anticipation and connect on a physical/sexual/spiritual level. Decide on a weekly date night and have something in your calendar that you’re both looking forward to doing together.

Macro cycles: Plan trips together to local bed and breakfasts, cabins, or hotels that you’ll be able to stay in for multiple days. Plan trips abroad to places you’ve never been to before. On at least an annual basis, carve out a minimum of a full week where you and your significant other can reconnect and recharge in peace without distractions.

By taking this three-pronged approach to reconnecting with your loved one, you’ll be sure to keep the home fires roaring better than you ever thought possible.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
7 Reasons Life Gets Easier With Age
Sep 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
7 Reasons Life Gets Easier With Age
A few years ago my 50+ year old dad told me that he had never been happier at any other point in his life, and I thought that he was kidding himself. How could this be? As you get older, everyone you know starts to die… you only get more responsibility and things to manage… and you get all saggy and...
Continue Reading
3 Things To Remember When You’re Falling In Love
Jun 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
3 Things To Remember When You’re Falling In Love
I received this question from a handful of people this past week and figured I’d post my answer publicly. “I’m really starting to fall for someone… and it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship. Is there anything I should be watching out for? Common traps that people fall into, etc.?” There’s...
Continue Reading
We Are Wild, And We Are Tender
Mar 15, 2015
Jordan Gray
We Are Wild, And We Are Tender
We are more wild, and more tender than we allow ourselves be in bed. Regardless of our gender, the range of our sexuality has been repressed, limited, and shamed into a corner since we were young. We are simultaneously tantalized and chastised. We are taught to suppress sexual desire… hide our bodies…...
Continue Reading
The Ultimate Guide To Thigh Jobs (& 11 Sexy Thigh Job Positions)
Jul 22, 2024
Jordan Gray
The Ultimate Guide To Thigh Jobs (& 11 Sexy Thigh Job Positions)
Thigh jobs...? You've heard of handjobs and blowjobs... but thigh jobs? For many people, they are a foreign concept. Also referred to as thighing, thigh sex, and intercrural sex, in a subset of kinksters, explorative couples, and people saving themselves for marriage, thigh jobs are all...
Continue Reading
12 Self-Care Tips For Ultra-Driven People
Aug 26, 2015
Jordan Gray
12 Self-Care Tips For Ultra-Driven People
Do you ever forget to prioritize your self-care? I definitely do. There are times when I’ll be in the middle of a big, exciting work push and I’ll forget to have any proper fun, downtime, or self-care for weeks on end. And then it catches up to me. My shoulders are hunched… my left eye is twitching…...
Continue Reading
When Feeling Your Feelings Becomes Damaging
Apr 3, 2016
Jordan Gray
When Feeling Your Feelings Becomes Damaging
I am a huge proponent of feeling your feelings. We are a society who numbs. Instead of our feeling our feelings, we do everything in our power to avoid going directly through our pain. We self-medicate with being "sooo busy". We self-medicate with distractions. We self-medicate with drinking,...
Continue Reading