Jul 27, 2013

How Humility Makes You A Better Person (5 Action Steps)

Humility is a much overlooked concept in modern society.

A quick search of humility from Google brings up synonyms like “meekness, lowliness, submission”.  Generally speaking, humility is seen as having a low estimate of one’s own importance or accomplishments.

This is an outdated definition of the phrase, and it deserves an overhaul.

I propose that we re-frame what humility means to us as people on the path of increased self-awareness and personal growth.

Humility: to be proud of your accomplishments and abilities while maintaining a healthy level of awareness about the love and support that allowed you to get to where you currently are.  You realize that it wasn’t all your doing.

To be sure that we’re on the same page with this new and improved definition of the word, here are five ways that you can action-step humility into your empowered life.

1. Actively Practice Gratitude Towards Peers, Mentors, And Family

The people that you have surrounded yourself with your entire life have helped shape who you are today.  Mirror their love and encouragement back to them on a regular basis.

Send extended thank you letters, treat people to meals, let others know the effect that they have had on your life.  Be honest and lavish with your praise.

2. Work On Becoming An Amazing Listener

One of the earliest lessons that my father taught me about life is that “You have two ears and one mouth, use them accordingly”.

Other people have wisdom that you don’t yet possess.  Always seek first to understand, and then be understood.  And don’t brag, it never gets you anywhere.

3. Pay The Support Forward

When your emotional well-being is overflowing because of others contributions to your character, there is a natural desire to want to pay it forward.

Be constantly on the look out for ways to add value to other peoples’ lives.

4. Be Direct About Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

Always be forthcoming and transparent about other people’s contributions to your accomplishments.

Imagine you get a heaping dose of praise from someone on a project that you completed 80% of the work on and the other contributor isn’t around.  It is your ego that wants to bask in the praise and take it all for yourself.  It is your integrity that is urging you to mention that you had help along the way.

If you feed your ‘lower self’ attention by basking in the praise, your character and emotional state will suffer.  If you make an effort (even if it seems awkward to bring it up) to mention the work of your co-contributor, you will feel better about yourself and your integrity will remain intact.

Don’t take the easy way out.

5. Show Respect To Every Single Person That You Interact With

How you do anything is how you do everything.

If you are a good person to friends and mentors but you are rude to restaurant servers, that speaks directly to your character.

Treat every single person that you meet like family and it will make you a happier, and better person.

Don’t let this habit slide.  Every time that you do feed into this habit a part of you will feel terrible, and even more of the other person will feel just as bad.

Humility In Action

I once met a man and his father at a business networking event who had a very interesting family dynamic.

The father was a well established serial-entrepreneur who had had a massive string of successes.

Whenever I asked the son about his relationship to his father and his father’s companies, the son was quick to brush their relationship under the rug and talk about his successes.  He feared living in his fathers shadow and his ego would almost repel the idea that they were even related because he was so adamant about forging his own path independent from his fathers.

Contrast this to a sports interview I once saw where MMA fighter Nate Diaz was asked how it felt to have to forge his own career underneath the shadow of his successful older brother Nick Diaz.  His response?  “What’s wrong with being in the shadow of Nick Diaz?”

Nate was well aware of his position in his familial hierarchy and took pride in the opportunity this his lineage had afforded him.

The first example shows a man with a tender ego who has a chip on his shoulder.  The latter example shows a man with integrity, self-awareness, and humility.

So where could you express more gratitude and show more humility in your life?

Who has helped you become who you are today?

Think about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
Sep 25, 2016
Jordan Gray
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
"My name is Jordan, and I'm a sex addict." As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt like a total impostor. The men and women seated around me, legs crossed and arms folded, draped over orange plastic chairs, would see right through me any second now. Even though I was staring down at the floor, I...
Continue Reading
How Valuable Are You As A Partner?
Dec 2, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Valuable Are You As A Partner?
Are you continually making an effort to be the best partner possible? Here's the thing… it's easy to coast in life. You can get a job that's good enough to pay the bills, be in good enough shape to take the stairs without getting winded, and be a good enough partner that your significant other doesn't...
Continue Reading
7 Of My Favourite Quotes That Will Turn You Into A Better Person
Dec 22, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Of My Favourite Quotes That Will Turn You Into A Better Person
I, Jordan Gray, am a quote junkie.  Every close friend, confidante, and fellow growth warrior in the trenches of life alongside me knows that a pre-requisite of being in my life is being comfortable with me starting every fifth sentence with the words, “That reminds me of the quote…” I...
Continue Reading
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
Mar 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
The fact that you exist is nothing short of a miracle. Your life is a gift. And how you live your life is your thank you letter to the universe. You can take your life for granted and live your life from a mindset of entitlement... or you can live from a place of gratitude paired with the intention...
Continue Reading
Why You Aren't Good Enough For Her
Apr 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why You Aren’t Good Enough For Her
Have you ever thought that you just weren't good enough for someone? We all struggle with our self-worth. Whether your parents were overly demanding or you once dated someone that lowered your self-esteem, we all have some form of emotional baggage that affects our love for ourselves. The key to...
Continue Reading
7 Things I Will Tell My Children About Love And Life
Aug 20, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Things I Will Tell My Children About Love And Life
I don't have any children. And, at this point in my life, I don't know if I'll ever have them. As one of my mentors likes to say, maybe I'll just be a "parent to adults" for the rest of my life. If I do have children of my own one day (adopted or biological), this is what I'll want them to know. And...
Continue Reading