Jul 27, 2013

How Humility Makes You A Better Person (5 Action Steps)

Humility is a much overlooked concept in modern society.

A quick search of humility from Google brings up synonyms like “meekness, lowliness, submission”.  Generally speaking, humility is seen as having a low estimate of one’s own importance or accomplishments.

This is an outdated definition of the phrase, and it deserves an overhaul.

I propose that we re-frame what humility means to us as people on the path of increased self-awareness and personal growth.

Humility: to be proud of your accomplishments and abilities while maintaining a healthy level of awareness about the love and support that allowed you to get to where you currently are.  You realize that it wasn’t all your doing.

To be sure that we’re on the same page with this new and improved definition of the word, here are five ways that you can action-step humility into your empowered life.

1. Actively Practice Gratitude Towards Peers, Mentors, And Family

The people that you have surrounded yourself with your entire life have helped shape who you are today.  Mirror their love and encouragement back to them on a regular basis.

Send extended thank you letters, treat people to meals, let others know the effect that they have had on your life.  Be honest and lavish with your praise.

2. Work On Becoming An Amazing Listener

One of the earliest lessons that my father taught me about life is that “You have two ears and one mouth, use them accordingly”.

Other people have wisdom that you don’t yet possess.  Always seek first to understand, and then be understood.  And don’t brag, it never gets you anywhere.

3. Pay The Support Forward

When your emotional well-being is overflowing because of others contributions to your character, there is a natural desire to want to pay it forward.

Be constantly on the look out for ways to add value to other peoples’ lives.

4. Be Direct About Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

Always be forthcoming and transparent about other people’s contributions to your accomplishments.

Imagine you get a heaping dose of praise from someone on a project that you completed 80% of the work on and the other contributor isn’t around.  It is your ego that wants to bask in the praise and take it all for yourself.  It is your integrity that is urging you to mention that you had help along the way.

If you feed your ‘lower self’ attention by basking in the praise, your character and emotional state will suffer.  If you make an effort (even if it seems awkward to bring it up) to mention the work of your co-contributor, you will feel better about yourself and your integrity will remain intact.

Don’t take the easy way out.

5. Show Respect To Every Single Person That You Interact With

How you do anything is how you do everything.

If you are a good person to friends and mentors but you are rude to restaurant servers, that speaks directly to your character.

Treat every single person that you meet like family and it will make you a happier, and better person.

Don’t let this habit slide.  Every time that you do feed into this habit a part of you will feel terrible, and even more of the other person will feel just as bad.

Humility In Action

I once met a man and his father at a business networking event who had a very interesting family dynamic.

The father was a well established serial-entrepreneur who had had a massive string of successes.

Whenever I asked the son about his relationship to his father and his father’s companies, the son was quick to brush their relationship under the rug and talk about his successes.  He feared living in his fathers shadow and his ego would almost repel the idea that they were even related because he was so adamant about forging his own path independent from his fathers.

Contrast this to a sports interview I once saw where MMA fighter Nate Diaz was asked how it felt to have to forge his own career underneath the shadow of his successful older brother Nick Diaz.  His response?  “What’s wrong with being in the shadow of Nick Diaz?”

Nate was well aware of his position in his familial hierarchy and took pride in the opportunity this his lineage had afforded him.

The first example shows a man with a tender ego who has a chip on his shoulder.  The latter example shows a man with integrity, self-awareness, and humility.

So where could you express more gratitude and show more humility in your life?

Who has helped you become who you are today?

Think about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
How To 80/20 Absolutely Everything In Your Life
Jul 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
How To 80/20 Absolutely Everything In Your Life
The Pareto Principle (also commonly known as the 80/20 Rule) is a simple rule that states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Like any arbitrary model of reality, the 80/20 rule has it’s pros and cons, but is generally a beneficial perspective to take on much of your daily life. What...
Continue Reading
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
Jul 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
At the beginning of 2014 I set out with the intention to fall more deeply in love with myself than I ever had before. And when I get an idea in my head, I commit to it fully. I hired a self-love coach that I checked in with at least once per week. I started working with a therapist to dig into some...
Continue Reading
The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology
Sep 3, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Differences Between Boy And Man Psychology
Do you ever have moments when you feel like a boy trapped in a man's body? We all do at some points in our interactions with others. You find yourself picking a fight over something insignificant. Or feeling jealous of another man's business success. Or becoming whiny when your partner says she's...
Continue Reading
4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often
Apr 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often
Every day in my journal for the past few months I have been answering a series of questions that forces me to get uncomfortably honest with myself. Between the completion of a significant romantic relationship, losing a close friend unexpectedly, and many other life changes, I have been having a challenging...
Continue Reading
12 Self-Care Tips For Ultra-Driven People
Aug 26, 2015
Jordan Gray
12 Self-Care Tips For Ultra-Driven People
Do you ever forget to prioritize your self-care? I definitely do. There are times when I’ll be in the middle of a big, exciting work push and I’ll forget to have any proper fun, downtime, or self-care for weeks on end. And then it catches up to me. My shoulders are hunched… my left eye is twitching…...
Continue Reading
How I Learned To Trust People Again (& How You Can Too)
Apr 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
How I Learned To Trust People Again (& How You Can Too)
Do you find it hard to trust people? Have you been hurt in the past and you’re now afraid to let other people get close to you? I get it. Because I’ve been there. In fact, I spent the better part of my life not trusting other people. Regardless of whether I was spending time with friends, family members,...
Continue Reading