Jul 27, 2013

How Humility Makes You A Better Person (5 Action Steps)

Humility is a much overlooked concept in modern society.

A quick search of humility from Google brings up synonyms like “meekness, lowliness, submission”.  Generally speaking, humility is seen as having a low estimate of one’s own importance or accomplishments.

This is an outdated definition of the phrase, and it deserves an overhaul.

I propose that we re-frame what humility means to us as people on the path of increased self-awareness and personal growth.

Humility: to be proud of your accomplishments and abilities while maintaining a healthy level of awareness about the love and support that allowed you to get to where you currently are.  You realize that it wasn’t all your doing.

To be sure that we’re on the same page with this new and improved definition of the word, here are five ways that you can action-step humility into your empowered life.

1. Actively Practice Gratitude Towards Peers, Mentors, And Family

The people that you have surrounded yourself with your entire life have helped shape who you are today.  Mirror their love and encouragement back to them on a regular basis.

Send extended thank you letters, treat people to meals, let others know the effect that they have had on your life.  Be honest and lavish with your praise.

2. Work On Becoming An Amazing Listener

One of the earliest lessons that my father taught me about life is that “You have two ears and one mouth, use them accordingly”.

Other people have wisdom that you don’t yet possess.  Always seek first to understand, and then be understood.  And don’t brag, it never gets you anywhere.

3. Pay The Support Forward

When your emotional well-being is overflowing because of others contributions to your character, there is a natural desire to want to pay it forward.

Be constantly on the look out for ways to add value to other peoples’ lives.

4. Be Direct About Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

Always be forthcoming and transparent about other people’s contributions to your accomplishments.

Imagine you get a heaping dose of praise from someone on a project that you completed 80% of the work on and the other contributor isn’t around.  It is your ego that wants to bask in the praise and take it all for yourself.  It is your integrity that is urging you to mention that you had help along the way.

If you feed your ‘lower self’ attention by basking in the praise, your character and emotional state will suffer.  If you make an effort (even if it seems awkward to bring it up) to mention the work of your co-contributor, you will feel better about yourself and your integrity will remain intact.

Don’t take the easy way out.

5. Show Respect To Every Single Person That You Interact With

How you do anything is how you do everything.

If you are a good person to friends and mentors but you are rude to restaurant servers, that speaks directly to your character.

Treat every single person that you meet like family and it will make you a happier, and better person.

Don’t let this habit slide.  Every time that you do feed into this habit a part of you will feel terrible, and even more of the other person will feel just as bad.

Humility In Action

I once met a man and his father at a business networking event who had a very interesting family dynamic.

The father was a well established serial-entrepreneur who had had a massive string of successes.

Whenever I asked the son about his relationship to his father and his father’s companies, the son was quick to brush their relationship under the rug and talk about his successes.  He feared living in his fathers shadow and his ego would almost repel the idea that they were even related because he was so adamant about forging his own path independent from his fathers.

Contrast this to a sports interview I once saw where MMA fighter Nate Diaz was asked how it felt to have to forge his own career underneath the shadow of his successful older brother Nick Diaz.  His response?  “What’s wrong with being in the shadow of Nick Diaz?”

Nate was well aware of his position in his familial hierarchy and took pride in the opportunity this his lineage had afforded him.

The first example shows a man with a tender ego who has a chip on his shoulder.  The latter example shows a man with integrity, self-awareness, and humility.

So where could you express more gratitude and show more humility in your life?

Who has helped you become who you are today?

Think about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
May 25, 2020
Jordan Gray
Suicidal To Successful To Self-Loving: The First 33 Years Of My Life
The following is a summary of the first 33 years of my life. Kind of like a thus-far-autobiography. It should be noted that I am an unreliable narrator... as all narrators are. Because my perspectives are only my own. I'm sure some facts are muddied by my highly fallible human memory, especially...
Continue Reading
Strength In Vulnerability
Feb 25, 2013
Jordan Gray
Strength In Vulnerability
Strength In Vulnerability When I tell guys that my coaching practice has a strong element of getting men re-connected with themselves, their integrity, and their ability to be vulnerable, the responses are predictable. "But isn't being vulnerable seen as weak, and therefore...
Continue Reading
How To Recover From Extreme Burnout (Adrenal Fatigue, Exhaustion)
May 3, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Recover From Extreme Burnout (Adrenal Fatigue, Exhaustion)
Are you currently experiencing extreme burnout? Have you been googling things like “adrenal fatigue”, “how to rest”, and “extreme tiredness”? Whether you’re experiencing burnout from a place of workaholism-induced fatigue, situational depression, or a chronic (i.e. multi-year) lack of rest, this article...
Continue Reading
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
Feb 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
There are two ways you can go about getting anything in life. The short cut, or the long road. There are pros and cons to each but, overall, I think you intuitively know that we don't value that which we don't work for. And good things come to those who wait. What's Wrong With Rush...
Continue Reading
How Do Your Abandonment Issues Affect Your Love Life?
Mar 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
How Do Your Abandonment Issues Affect Your Love Life?
Everyone feels the pain of abandonment at some point in their lives. Whether it was as blatant as a parent abandoning you at a young age, or as subtle as an emotionally intense relationship ending abruptly, everyone feels the sting of abandonment at some point in their journey. So what is aban...
Continue Reading
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
Feb 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Is The One Thing You Always Have Control Over
We really can’t control much of anything in our funny little lives. We grasp for control. We grasp for meaning. We grasp for a semblance of purpose in everything that we do. In my opinion, there’s only one thing that we can ever truly control. And I’ll tell you what that is. But first, a story. My...
Continue Reading