Jul 27, 2013

How Humility Makes You A Better Person (5 Action Steps)

Humility is a much overlooked concept in modern society.

A quick search of humility from Google brings up synonyms like “meekness, lowliness, submission”.  Generally speaking, humility is seen as having a low estimate of one’s own importance or accomplishments.

This is an outdated definition of the phrase, and it deserves an overhaul.

I propose that we re-frame what humility means to us as people on the path of increased self-awareness and personal growth.

Humility: to be proud of your accomplishments and abilities while maintaining a healthy level of awareness about the love and support that allowed you to get to where you currently are.  You realize that it wasn’t all your doing.

To be sure that we’re on the same page with this new and improved definition of the word, here are five ways that you can action-step humility into your empowered life.

1. Actively Practice Gratitude Towards Peers, Mentors, And Family

The people that you have surrounded yourself with your entire life have helped shape who you are today.  Mirror their love and encouragement back to them on a regular basis.

Send extended thank you letters, treat people to meals, let others know the effect that they have had on your life.  Be honest and lavish with your praise.

2. Work On Becoming An Amazing Listener

One of the earliest lessons that my father taught me about life is that “You have two ears and one mouth, use them accordingly”.

Other people have wisdom that you don’t yet possess.  Always seek first to understand, and then be understood.  And don’t brag, it never gets you anywhere.

3. Pay The Support Forward

When your emotional well-being is overflowing because of others contributions to your character, there is a natural desire to want to pay it forward.

Be constantly on the look out for ways to add value to other peoples’ lives.

4. Be Direct About Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

Always be forthcoming and transparent about other people’s contributions to your accomplishments.

Imagine you get a heaping dose of praise from someone on a project that you completed 80% of the work on and the other contributor isn’t around.  It is your ego that wants to bask in the praise and take it all for yourself.  It is your integrity that is urging you to mention that you had help along the way.

If you feed your ‘lower self’ attention by basking in the praise, your character and emotional state will suffer.  If you make an effort (even if it seems awkward to bring it up) to mention the work of your co-contributor, you will feel better about yourself and your integrity will remain intact.

Don’t take the easy way out.

5. Show Respect To Every Single Person That You Interact With

How you do anything is how you do everything.

If you are a good person to friends and mentors but you are rude to restaurant servers, that speaks directly to your character.

Treat every single person that you meet like family and it will make you a happier, and better person.

Don’t let this habit slide.  Every time that you do feed into this habit a part of you will feel terrible, and even more of the other person will feel just as bad.

Humility In Action

I once met a man and his father at a business networking event who had a very interesting family dynamic.

The father was a well established serial-entrepreneur who had had a massive string of successes.

Whenever I asked the son about his relationship to his father and his father’s companies, the son was quick to brush their relationship under the rug and talk about his successes.  He feared living in his fathers shadow and his ego would almost repel the idea that they were even related because he was so adamant about forging his own path independent from his fathers.

Contrast this to a sports interview I once saw where MMA fighter Nate Diaz was asked how it felt to have to forge his own career underneath the shadow of his successful older brother Nick Diaz.  His response?  “What’s wrong with being in the shadow of Nick Diaz?”

Nate was well aware of his position in his familial hierarchy and took pride in the opportunity this his lineage had afforded him.

The first example shows a man with a tender ego who has a chip on his shoulder.  The latter example shows a man with integrity, self-awareness, and humility.

So where could you express more gratitude and show more humility in your life?

Who has helped you become who you are today?

Think about it.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
6 Money Arguments Couples Have (And How To Resolve Them)
Dec 10, 2019
Jordan Gray
6 Money Arguments Couples Have (And How To Resolve Them)
A few years ago, a reader pointed out to me that I didn't write about money enough. "Seeing as money is the #1 thing that couples fight about, it's interesting to me that you don't write about it more often." And they were right! So, I decided that I am going to be talking about money...
Continue Reading
21 Things To Do When Your Sex Drives Are Different
Feb 21, 2024
Jordan Gray
21 Things To Do When Your Sex Drives Are Different
Imagine this: you would love to have sex with your partner five times a week, and yet your partner is fine with once or twice a month. For many individuals, they don't have to imagine this scenario - because they live it every day. Over the years, I have met countless men and women who were stressed...
Continue Reading
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Dec 15, 2019
Jordan Gray
8 Man Skills Every Man Should Know
Something I’ve learned from years in men’s work is that for most guys to really feel like men, they need to be initiated into manhood by a community of other guys, especially older ones. This is where they learn certain skills and ways of living. Most importantly, this initiatory process of...
Continue Reading
3 Things That All Driven Men Need In A Partner
Apr 14, 2014
Jordan Gray
3 Things That All Driven Men Need In A Partner
Driven men, successful men, and entrepreneurial men all have something in common… They all yearn for an emotionally fulfilling relationship. Sure, all people crave a highly functioning and fulfilling relationship. But in my career as a relationship coach I have consistently seen driven, high-achieving...
Continue Reading
The Ultimate Guide To Male Grooming: 50+ Head To Toe Tips
Jun 2, 2018
Jordan Gray
The Ultimate Guide To Male Grooming: 50+ Head To Toe Tips
It’s easy to get lost in the world of male grooming advice. With thousands of tips, tricks, tools, creams, colognes, and cuts to choose from… where’s a fella to start when it comes to grooming himself? Every man wants to be able to feel 100% confident in how he looks, smells, and feels when...
Continue Reading
3 Exercises That Will Take Your Relationship To The Next Level
Nov 25, 2019
Jordan Gray
3 Exercises That Will Take Your Relationship To The Next Level
Hey! I wanted to quickly share three relationship tools that have been bringing a lot of value to my life this past year. Whether you are in a marriage of several decades, or you are currently single and want to put some additional tools in your toolkit for the next time you find an aligned significant...
Continue Reading