Jun 28, 2013

How To Be The Kind Of Man That Women Crave

I’m going to let you in on a little secret…

A lot of women are feeling pretty frustrated these days.

If they can find a partner with direction and career-focus in his life, that partner is often stuck in ‘work-mode’ and doesn’t fulfill her emotionally.

Conversely, other men who are overly adept at reading and calibrating to her moods usually lack the passion and drive that attracts women.

Women are perpetually choosing between the safe option, and the one that makes them feel something. One has strength, and the other has sensitivity.

But there is a better way.

You can cultivate the habits and awareness that make you into a modern man of strength and sensitivity.

Try out these five tips, in roughly this order, and I guarantee that your emotional awareness, contentment, and love life will all benefit…

1. Find Your Mission In Life

Like the concrete under a skyscraper, if you don’t know what lies at your foundation, your vertical growth will always be stunted. I’ve written about this extensively in the past, and there are very few things as important in a man’s life as what his over arching contribution to society is. You can not get around this point. Turn off your cell phone and sit with a journal until you figure this out.

2. Live Like A Survivor

From this day forwards you don’t have the right to be a victim any longer. Take complete responsibility for your life. You aren’t a fan of your job/social circle/situation? All of these things were shaped by the thousands of decisions you’ve been making over the past few years of your life. Your light side sees your life as your art… but your dark side sees it as war.

To move from being a boy to a man you must take full responsibility of everything in your life. Accept it as it is. And then try to change it if you wish. But don’t resist it as it already exists. That’s like sitting on a sail boat and getting mad at the wind for blowing in the wrong direction. Move your sail, and do what needs to be done.

3. Live With Compassion

Remember that everyone and everything in your life is interconnected. And not just in the energetic, hippy sense of the word ‘interconnected’. I mean that if you are a jerk to people, it will quickly make its way through word of mouth that you are a jerk.

Assume the best in everyone. Stop yourself from judging others whenever you catch it. Be nice to yourself and resist negative self-talk.

4. Exercise

As archaic as it might sound, women are still attracted to the feeling of protection that having a strong partner provides. Does this mean that you need to live at the gym and have a rocking six-pack? Not in the slightest.

When I talk about strength throughout this article I am not referring to physical strength but mental strength. Women are attracted to strong-minded men (AKA people in general are attracted to strong-minded people). Being able to stand up for what is right, protect what you care for, and doing the right thing are all behaviours that communicate a certain mental strength and agility.

A mature man can show his sword without using it.

For general self-esteem, self-control, and to gain a deeper relationship with the dark side of your masculine I do recommend going to the gym, or getting trained in a martial art/self-defence class. Although there is a 99% chance that you will never need to use what you learn throughout your life, just knowing that you are able to handle yourself in all situations will allow you to carry yourself through all of your interactions with more confidence and control.

5. Remain Connected To Her In All That You Do

Women can always feel when you are not fully present with them. Playing video games while you sit on the same couch as them does not qualify (to the feminine) as spending time together. Your attention is off of her, therefore, she does not feel you being present.

Leave work at work… meditate for greater focus… if you had a stressful day at work breathe it out before you enter her apartment.  Show her that she is just as much of a priority to you as your job is.

You might already be rocking a few of these already, and for that I say congratulations. But if you feel a total lack in one of these areas then maybe it’s time to add more fullness to that part of your life. A quality woman’s hand will not be won by a lazy suitor. In the end, the only way to attract the women of your dreams is by becoming the man of her dreams.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. To really be the kind of man that women crave, you can also check out this awesome book on Amazon.

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
3 Reasons You Date Emotionally Unavailable People (& How To Stop)
Mar 3, 2018
Jordan Gray
3 Reasons You Date Emotionally Unavailable People (& How To Stop)
Do you keep finding yourself dating emotionally unavailable people? Does it frustrate you when you find out that the person you’ve just started seeing is JUST out of a relationship… or that they want to move even more slowly than you’ve already been going… or that they’re emotionally constipated and...
Continue Reading
How Fast Should You Let Yourself Love?
Apr 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
How Fast Should You Let Yourself Love?
How Fast Should You Let Yourself Love? When you first start dating someone that you feel a mutual connection with, it can be downright terrifying. You don't want to mess up a good thing. One of the biggest questions my clients have is how fast a new relationship should develop. In...
Continue Reading
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Nov 5, 2013
Jordan Gray
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Her arms are crossed. She’s stopped communicating with you entirely. She's reluctant to make eye contact with you… and when she does look your way, her gaze is hollow and icy. You rack your brain for what you could have done… What did you say? Did your flirty banter with that waitress over lunch go...
Continue Reading
4 Things To Never Say To A Man 
Feb 15, 2024
Jordan Gray
4 Things To Never Say To A Man 
In the delicate dance of communication, some missteps can lead to a full stop.  There are some words that, when said, rapidly destroy connection. What are they? You might be able to guess one of them. Possibly two if you’re already a serious student of the intricacies of men. But if used in conjunction,...
Continue Reading
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Oct 29, 2014
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Every week, people ask me what books I would recommend for them to further their understanding of sex and relationships. Having been someone that has been self-educating on sex, psychology, and relationships for the past decade, and having read hundreds of books on the subject, I feel fairly qualified...
Continue Reading
New Relationship? Here Are 5 Ways To Overcome Your Anxiety
Mar 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
New Relationship? Here Are 5 Ways To Overcome Your Anxiety
One of the most common questions that I get on a weekly basis is... "I'm in a new relationship and I feel a low level state of anxiety basically 24/7. Am I normal!? Will this ever end? Should I listen to my anxiety and run, or hunker down and stick it out?" Many a new relationship...
Continue Reading