Oct 1, 2013

How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential

You’re a few months (or years) into your relationship and you’re wondering whether or not this particular pairing has potential.

You feel like you’ve wasted time with past partners and you don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Well, you’re in luck.

Having counselled hundreds of people over the past decade and having interviewed dozens of successful long-term marriages in preparation for my next book, I have amassed a large sampling of information regarding the early signs indicating a potentially perfect match.

By determining the potential in your connection early on, you could save yourself from wasting time in unfulfilling relationships.

Here are some pointers to help you decide whether or not your relationship has potential.

1. You Don’t Feel The Need To Pretend

In the first few months of dating a new partner, it’s common to hide behind social masks. You’re both on your best behaviour.

“I shouldn’t call her for at least two days. Otherwise, she’ll think I’m too available.”

“I can’t sleep with him until after the third date. Unless I wait, he’ll think I’m easy.”

“She didn’t text me back fast enough so I’m going to ignore her for a few days.”

OH MY GOD, STOP!

Arbitrary dating games don’t serve you and you know it. Being playful, spontaneous, and challenging are great qualities in a romantic partner.

But playing hard to get will just make you hard to love.

In a relationship that has potential, you realize that you don’t need to hide behind social masks.

You don’t have to fake who you are in order for your partner to like you.  In fact, being yourself has never been easier.

You both bring out and encourage the best versions of each other with ease.

You feel like you, and quite likely, the best version of you that you’ve been in a very long time.

HappyCouple

2. You Do The Things Everyone Tells You Not To Do

There are tons of relationship no-no’s that common sense tells you to avoid in the courting process. But this relationship is different.

At the end of the first month, you’ve found yourself wanting to say that you love them. You want to introduce them to your parents “too quickly.” You’ve made plans for the two of you six months from now without a second thought.

No matter what your friends, family, and media tell you is the “right” amount of time to engage in commitment-y behaviour, you found yourself breaking all the rules- often without guilt or any weirdness.

Take this as a sign. This one’s a keeper.

3. Everything Is Different

The sex, the conversational chemistry, the ease with which you established a deep connection with each other… for some reason, everything about this relationship feels different.

She’s the first girl that you want to proudly show off to your parents and friends. He puts all of your past relationships in his shadow. You now realize why all of your exes are your exes.

Maybe committing to someone used to seem downright terrifying, but now you’re practically picking out names for your future children in your mind.

Maybe this whole “one person forever” concept isn’t too scary after all!

Still Not Sure If Your Relationship Has Potential?

If you still find yourself uncertain after reading these tips, you might need to stop thinking and start feeling.

Your emotions know better than your mind when it comes to love.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
10 Ways To Be The Most Romantic Partner She's Ever Had
Dec 30, 2013
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Be The Most Romantic Partner She’s Ever Had
"Romance is for the unmarried." "Chivalry is dead." "Real men aren't romantic." I've heard these sentiments uttered by people throughout my life. And what a load of crap. The truth? All men have the ability to be romantic. Granted, many guys are afraid to do romantic things because they...
Continue Reading
The 5 Best Books On Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Nov 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 5 Best Books On Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Sometimes I read a book and I’m like, "HOLY JEEBUS I AM TEN PAGES IN AND THIS THING HAS ALREADY CHANGED MY LIFE!" The following five books are some of my favourites of those kinds of books. Some of them primarily help you with your relationship to yourself (#'s 1, 2, and 3), and others primarily help...
Continue Reading
5 Innovative Ways To Get Over Your Ex
Jul 3, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Innovative Ways To Get Over Your Ex
Breaking up sucks. It's hard to get over someone that you were so close with. Your brain was chemically addicted to them, and now your drug of choice is gone. Whether it's been a couple of days, weeks, or years, you still feel some old emotional residue around that certain someone. With a couple...
Continue Reading
What If You End Up Alone Forever?
Oct 28, 2018
Jordan Gray
What If You End Up Alone Forever?
Do you fear ending up alone forever? Do you have a deep-down gnawing sense that you’ll never truly be happy until you find your life partner? Well, what if a magic fairy came along and promised you, with absolute certainty, that you would end up alone forever? That you would never find...
Continue Reading
7 Powerful Trust Exercises For Couples
Nov 23, 2015
Jordan Gray
7 Powerful Trust Exercises For Couples
We all know that trust is a fundamental component of every healthy intimate relationship. But what is trust exactly? In the context of relationships, I define trust as having an underlying belief in the reliability and consistency of someone. So, for example, if you and your...
Continue Reading
5 Mistakes I Made On The Path To Finding My Wife
Jul 15, 2025
Jordan Gray
5 Mistakes I Made On The Path To Finding My Wife
Before meeting my wife, I spent years getting in my own way. I made a handful of mistakes that likely cost me years of connection, intimacy, and peace of mind. I remember sitting across from a friend one night, telling him that maybe I just wasn’t cut out for lasting love. I was frustrated,...
Continue Reading