Oct 1, 2013

How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential

You’re a few months (or years) into your relationship and you’re wondering whether or not this particular pairing has potential.

You feel like you’ve wasted time with past partners and you don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Well, you’re in luck.

Having counselled hundreds of people over the past decade and having interviewed dozens of successful long-term marriages in preparation for my next book, I have amassed a large sampling of information regarding the early signs indicating a potentially perfect match.

By determining the potential in your connection early on, you could save yourself from wasting time in unfulfilling relationships.

Here are some pointers to help you decide whether or not your relationship has potential.

1. You Don’t Feel The Need To Pretend

In the first few months of dating a new partner, it’s common to hide behind social masks. You’re both on your best behaviour.

“I shouldn’t call her for at least two days. Otherwise, she’ll think I’m too available.”

“I can’t sleep with him until after the third date. Unless I wait, he’ll think I’m easy.”

“She didn’t text me back fast enough so I’m going to ignore her for a few days.”

OH MY GOD, STOP!

Arbitrary dating games don’t serve you and you know it. Being playful, spontaneous, and challenging are great qualities in a romantic partner.

But playing hard to get will just make you hard to love.

In a relationship that has potential, you realize that you don’t need to hide behind social masks.

You don’t have to fake who you are in order for your partner to like you.  In fact, being yourself has never been easier.

You both bring out and encourage the best versions of each other with ease.

You feel like you, and quite likely, the best version of you that you’ve been in a very long time.

HappyCouple

2. You Do The Things Everyone Tells You Not To Do

There are tons of relationship no-no’s that common sense tells you to avoid in the courting process. But this relationship is different.

At the end of the first month, you’ve found yourself wanting to say that you love them. You want to introduce them to your parents “too quickly.” You’ve made plans for the two of you six months from now without a second thought.

No matter what your friends, family, and media tell you is the “right” amount of time to engage in commitment-y behaviour, you found yourself breaking all the rules- often without guilt or any weirdness.

Take this as a sign. This one’s a keeper.

3. Everything Is Different

The sex, the conversational chemistry, the ease with which you established a deep connection with each other… for some reason, everything about this relationship feels different.

She’s the first girl that you want to proudly show off to your parents and friends. He puts all of your past relationships in his shadow. You now realize why all of your exes are your exes.

Maybe committing to someone used to seem downright terrifying, but now you’re practically picking out names for your future children in your mind.

Maybe this whole “one person forever” concept isn’t too scary after all!

Still Not Sure If Your Relationship Has Potential?

If you still find yourself uncertain after reading these tips, you might need to stop thinking and start feeling.

Your emotions know better than your mind when it comes to love.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
What Men And Women Should Learn From Each Other
Oct 8, 2013
Jordan Gray
What Men And Women Should Learn From Each Other
Your retinas are burning from the glow of your computer screen. Your neck is tense as you type away for the tenth hour of your work day. You forgot to break for lunch. You can feel your eyelids threatening to close; your wrists are already aching. But you just have to finish these last few tasks. After...
Continue Reading
4 Things To Never Say To A Man 
Feb 15, 2024
Jordan Gray
4 Things To Never Say To A Man 
In the delicate dance of communication, some missteps can lead to a full stop.  There are some words that, when said, rapidly destroy connection. What are they? You might be able to guess one of them. Possibly two if you’re already a serious student of the intricacies of men. But if used in conjunction,...
Continue Reading
You Are Allowed To Want What You Want
Nov 12, 2016
Jordan Gray
You Are Allowed To Want What You Want
Repeat after me… “I am allowed to want what I want.” Say it out loud. Don’t worry… I’ll wait. “I am allowed to want what I want.” Done? How did that feel? If you’re like most people, there’s probably a combination of a little bit of fear/nervousness, mixed in with a deep sense of peace and calm. It...
Continue Reading
How To Find And Date An Exceptionally High Quality Partner
Sep 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Find And Date An Exceptionally High Quality Partner
Looking to find and date a high quality partner? You're in luck! I recently wrote a piece over on Elephant Journal called “Marry A Man Who Knows How To Love Hard.” I described a man who is there for all of the inevitable what-if’s of life… who lovingly listens to how his partner’s day went… and who...
Continue Reading
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
Nov 10, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Ease Into Love When Love Terrifies You
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed.” - Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook We all suffer tragedies in life. Break ups, abandonments, lost loved ones, and countless other bumps and bruises will take their toll on our hearts as we live. It’s so tempting...
Continue Reading
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Mar 25, 2017
Jordan Gray
How To Develop Your Masculine Edge: 9 Steps To Becoming A Beast
Are you looking to develop your masculine edge? Do you sometimes feel like you lack passion, fire, or courage in your life? Do you find yourself feeling lacklustre, being boring, or overly nice? Do you find it difficult to stay motivated in your career path, attract romantic partners that you're deeply...
Continue Reading