Oct 1, 2013

How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential

You’re a few months (or years) into your relationship and you’re wondering whether or not this particular pairing has potential.

You feel like you’ve wasted time with past partners and you don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Well, you’re in luck.

Having counselled hundreds of people over the past decade and having interviewed dozens of successful long-term marriages in preparation for my next book, I have amassed a large sampling of information regarding the early signs indicating a potentially perfect match.

By determining the potential in your connection early on, you could save yourself from wasting time in unfulfilling relationships.

Here are some pointers to help you decide whether or not your relationship has potential.

1. You Don’t Feel The Need To Pretend

In the first few months of dating a new partner, it’s common to hide behind social masks. You’re both on your best behaviour.

“I shouldn’t call her for at least two days. Otherwise, she’ll think I’m too available.”

“I can’t sleep with him until after the third date. Unless I wait, he’ll think I’m easy.”

“She didn’t text me back fast enough so I’m going to ignore her for a few days.”

OH MY GOD, STOP!

Arbitrary dating games don’t serve you and you know it. Being playful, spontaneous, and challenging are great qualities in a romantic partner.

But playing hard to get will just make you hard to love.

In a relationship that has potential, you realize that you don’t need to hide behind social masks.

You don’t have to fake who you are in order for your partner to like you.  In fact, being yourself has never been easier.

You both bring out and encourage the best versions of each other with ease.

You feel like you, and quite likely, the best version of you that you’ve been in a very long time.

HappyCouple

2. You Do The Things Everyone Tells You Not To Do

There are tons of relationship no-no’s that common sense tells you to avoid in the courting process. But this relationship is different.

At the end of the first month, you’ve found yourself wanting to say that you love them. You want to introduce them to your parents “too quickly.” You’ve made plans for the two of you six months from now without a second thought.

No matter what your friends, family, and media tell you is the “right” amount of time to engage in commitment-y behaviour, you found yourself breaking all the rules- often without guilt or any weirdness.

Take this as a sign. This one’s a keeper.

3. Everything Is Different

The sex, the conversational chemistry, the ease with which you established a deep connection with each other… for some reason, everything about this relationship feels different.

She’s the first girl that you want to proudly show off to your parents and friends. He puts all of your past relationships in his shadow. You now realize why all of your exes are your exes.

Maybe committing to someone used to seem downright terrifying, but now you’re practically picking out names for your future children in your mind.

Maybe this whole “one person forever” concept isn’t too scary after all!

Still Not Sure If Your Relationship Has Potential?

If you still find yourself uncertain after reading these tips, you might need to stop thinking and start feeling.

Your emotions know better than your mind when it comes to love.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Your Relationship As Foreplay (And How You Can Get Better At It)
Jun 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
Your Relationship As Foreplay (And How You Can Get Better At It)
A lot of guys think that foreplay is something that you do for a few minutes before you penetrate your partner. I remember once reading that foreplay isn't what you do for the five minutes before sex, but what you do for the 24 hours before you get to bed. And while the thought was nice, something...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
Jun 16, 2014
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Set Up Your Single Life For Success In Dating
It's all too easy to blindly fumble around from dysfunctional relationship to dysfunctional relationship. But does that mean that that's your only option? There are things that you can do in the space between your relationships that will set you up for success in your love life. Miss these, and...
Continue Reading
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
Feb 24, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Long Term Investment Strategy Of Finding Your True Love
There are two ways you can go about getting anything in life. The short cut, or the long road. There are pros and cons to each but, overall, I think you intuitively know that we don't value that which we don't work for. And good things come to those who wait. What's Wrong With Rush...
Continue Reading
7 Facts About Sex, Love, and Attraction That You Need To Know
Jan 14, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Facts About Sex, Love, and Attraction That You Need To Know
Before studying attraction and human sexuality I found myself judging people a lot. When people cheated, I found no empathy in my heart for them. When men wouldn't settle down with women who were clearly amazing for them, I dismissed them as non-committers point blank. When people complained...
Continue Reading
What 100 People Said Their Ideal Love Life Looks Like
Apr 5, 2015
Jordan Gray
What 100 People Said Their Ideal Love Life Looks Like
I recently asked 50 men and 50 women a simple question regarding their ideal love life. I asked them to each complete a single “sentence stem” five times. That sentence stem was “If I were to take full responsibility in my love life…”. Their answers were inspiring, beautiful, heart-warming,...
Continue Reading
Should You Date A Driven Woman?
Apr 30, 2014
Jordan Gray
Should You Date A Driven Woman?
Should you date a driven woman, or someone who is more relaxed than you? As someone who already lives their life full throttle, it can be confusing as to whether you should be with someone who can keep up with your levelled up lifestyle, or if you need someone to counteract your high-achieving ways. There...
Continue Reading