Mar 31, 2014

How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

Let’s face it… long distance relationships aren’t always a walk in the park.

Whether you’re playing duelling time zones, trying to schedule your next phone call, or just miss cuddling up with your significant other, it can often feel like a challenge to maintain an emotional and sexual connection while engaging in a long distance relationship.

But with a few easy-to-implement tools you can not only save, but grow the connection you feel in your intimate relationship while being physically apart from each other.

Here are five ways to make your long distance relationship work.

long distance relationship

1. Point Out The Finish Line

Depending on the nature of your situation, one of the most difficult parts about long distance relationships is the uncertainty surrounding when you’ll be seeing each other again.

As frequently as is possible for your long distance relationship, name the non-negotiable date that you’ll be in each others presence again.

Schedules, finances, and particulars will undoubtedly influence the frequency of how often you are able to see each other, but having a certain deadline as to when you’ll see each again makes the distance much more bearable.

2. Build Emotional Connection

The emotional connection you experience in your relationship can not only sustain but thrive during the long distance phases of your relationship.

Long distance relationships force you to get creative about how you express your love and affection for your partner.

Send texts and emails daily. Surprise them with flowers or (snail mail) love letters as intermittent surprises. And have phone calls or Skype dates as often as you wish.

Since the invention of video calling you can even watch your favorite TV shows or movies together at the same time.

3. Prioritize Your Sex Life

Just because you can’t touch your partner doesn’t mean that you are off the hook when it comes to being intentional about your relationship‘s sex life.

You can show sexual availability to your partner by having sex dates on Skype, or sending them unexpected nude shots.

Worried that taking nude shots of yourself and sending them to your lover could be dangerous? Well so is loving someone in the first place. So is everything if you look at it hard enough. Trust your partner enough to know that they wouldn’t ever do anything with it (other than what it’s intended for).

4. Embrace The Time Apart

Time apart often means more time for yourself. Use this time that’s being afforded to you by working on yourself and improving your life.

Maybe you have some close friends that you need to invest some time into. Maybe there’s a movie that you’ve been dying to see that your partner wasn’t that excited about. Or maybe you’ve been wanting to get back in shape and your gym pass has been feeling neglected.

Whatever you fill your time with, I’m sure there’s been something in your life that you’ve been neglecting and (just like your partner during your phone calls) it could use your undivided attention.

5. Ask “Does This Serve The Relationship?”

Be intentional about structuring your life around your relationship.

Because phone calls can sometimes be few and far between, make sure that you commit to date night plans in your schedule that won’t be broken. Another benefit to these calls is that there isn’t any need to talk about boring chit-chat because you know how precious your phone time can sometimes be.

If your friends ask you to go out for dinner with them on a night that you have a phone date planned with your partner, don’t blow it off in favour of your friends. Just because one of them has you physically around people doesn’t mean that it should take priority over your partner. Treat your date nights with your partner as just as important, if not more so, as your plans with people in the real world.

And on an even higher level of planning, if your cash flow is tight then you might want to consider where your money is going. One or two nights out at a restaurant per week with your local friends could mean an extra round trip plane ticket each month to see your sweetie. So ask yourself “Does this serve the relationship? Does this choice bring me closer towards or further away from seeing my love?”

Your Long Distance Relationship Doesn’t Need To Suffer

In many ways, the feeling of missing someone is a gift. You don’t realize how much you miss your partner until they aren’t tangibly in your life every day.

So be thankful for the opportunity to be shown how much you care for your significant other.

When you do see each other again make sure to clear your schedule. Get all of your work, grooming and lifestyle stuff out of the way and just dive into them.

It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. So if it’s been a while, you’ll want to probably want to leave your phone on silent for the next few days… or weeks.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
5 Things Your Penis Does That Are Totally Normal
Jul 10, 2018
Jordan Gray
5 Things Your Penis Does That Are Totally Normal
Allow me to let you in on a little secret… When you rank #1 in the world for the search terms ‘how to have a stronger penis’, ‘how to last longer in bed’, and ‘best sex toys for men’, you tend to receive a LOT of messages asking questions about penises in your email inbox. On a daily basis, I tend...
Continue Reading
29 Things I’ve Learned In 29 Years
Apr 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
29 Things I’ve Learned In 29 Years
At the time of my writing this, my 29th birthday is a few days away. 29 laps around the sun... and I feel like I have experienced a fairly densely packed ride so far. I've struggled, I've conquered, I've travelled, I've felt, and I've loved. The following collection of words flowed through me in one...
Continue Reading
6 Ways To Meet Someone Without Online Dating
Jan 15, 2024
Jordan Gray
6 Ways To Meet Someone Without Online Dating
I was recently speaking with a client who felt exhausted by online dating. The endless swiping... the sub-par dating pool... the lack of intrigue for anyone that registered as anything more than a (totally generous) 5 out of 10 on the excitement scale. And hey, honestly, I don't blame her. Back...
Continue Reading
How To Master Dark Sexual Energy As A Man
Dec 2, 2018
Jordan Gray
How To Master Dark Sexual Energy As A Man
Do you feel like you might be lacking a sexual edge in your life? Want to feel more dominant, assertive, and powerful in the bedroom? Whether you know it or not, what you're looking to cultivate is called dark sexual energy. And I'm going to show you how to do it.  The...
Continue Reading
How To Meet Your Husband In 30 Days
Jul 30, 2024
Jordan Gray
How To Meet Your Husband In 30 Days
Are you a single woman who would prefer to be in a long-term, committed relationship or marriage... with a man who cherishes you? I recently spoke with a client who asked me something along the lines of, "If I were to meet and attract my forever partner as quickly as possible, what sorts of steps...
Continue Reading
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
Jul 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
When I work with single clients, they often hesitate to fully acknowledge what they want in a partner. In fact, there are a handful of themes that consistently come up as it pertains to things they don't give themselves full permission to want. And without conscious awareness of these themes, people...
Continue Reading