Jul 10, 2018

5 Things Your Penis Does That Are Totally Normal

Allow me to let you in on a little secret…

When you rank #1 in the world for the search terms ‘how to have a stronger penis’, ‘how to last longer in bed’, and ‘best sex toys for men’, you tend to receive a LOT of messages asking questions about penises in your email inbox.

On a daily basis, I tend to get anywhere from 5-30 emails from men around the world asking me questions about their penises, with them wondering whether or not they are normal for having their individual afflictions.

So today, I want to set the record straight.

Here are five things that penises do that are totally normal.

If you experience or have experienced any of these things, I can assure you that you are a normal, healthy human being. And you are completely fine, just as you are.

1. Your penis occasionally goes down a bit during extended sex sessions

While you are having sex and you feel your penis start deflating a bit (in other words, going from 100% erect down to 70% erect), there’s nothing to worry about. You are normal.

Erectile strength fluctuates during sexual activity.

I know that porn may have led you to believe that there are stallion men in the world who have flawlessly erect penises for entire extended sex sessions, but this simply isn’t true.

Blood flow fluctuates. Your arousal levels fluctuate. Your connection to your body fluctuates. And all of these factors result in your penis being harder and sometimes less hard throughout the course of an extended sex session.

So if you catch your penis starting to lose some of it’s firmness mid-way through having sex sometimes, you are normal.

2. Your ejaculate dribbles out, even if it used to shoot out

One thing that commonly happens after a certain age (generally starts to occur some time between age 30-45 for most men) is that your sperm dribbles out of your penis upon ejaculating, even if it used to shoot out like the 4th of July fireworks.

No, there isn’t a “blockage” in your penis. You are not broken. Your penis is simply doing what it does when your body ages.

You can somewhat impact the shooting spectacle of your sperm by getting regular exercise, eating well, and doing your kegel exercises, but you are completely normal if your ejaculate dribbles out when you climax. You are not broken.

3. Not getting erect when you’re really stressed out

When men (or women) are significantly stressed out in their lives, we have built in software that tells our bodies to be less sexually functional. It’s almost as if our reptilian brain is assuming that, if we are stressed, we need to be using our energy for hunting/gathering/earning our access to food and resources (focusing on survival) as opposed to giving energy towards procreation.

If you find it difficult to achieve (or maintain) a useable erection when you’re particularly stressed out in your life, you are normal.

Sometimes you can take specific actions that will help you out (most notably, exercising more, playing more, and eating healthier will all contribute to your body managing it’s stress levels more effectively), but other times, there just isn’t anything you can do about it. If you just got fired from your job, someone you love dies, and you’re responsible for handling your children/aging parent’s lives simultaneously, well then guess what… you’re just not going to be visited by the boner fairy that much for a while until your life balances out again.

If you find it difficult to get a sufficient erection when you’re insanely stressed out, you are normal.

4. Not getting erect if you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to perform sex instead of enjoy sex

If you see sex as a performance, as opposed to an experience to be shared, felt, and enjoyed, then it is normal that you are going to find it relatively more difficult to achieve a sufficient erection.

Sure, you can trick your body into ‘performing’ for you for a while, just like you can trick your hands to not shake when you speak to an audience of 5,000 people for a little while, but eventually your nervous system will retaliate and your body will not cooperate when you tell it to respond to your will on command.

As much as like we think we can, we can’t force our bodies to act in accordance with our will for very long. Our bodies have their own natural rhythms and they have a consciousness of their own.

Our bodies need to be invited, or compelled into sex. If our penises feel like we’re internally screaming at them like a drill sergeant to “PERFORM, NOW!” then it won’t be long before they either start resenting us and becoming uncooperative, or getting stage fright and shutting down in the face of our barked orders.

Remember, sex is a shared experience that is focused around feeling, not about putting on a performance.

If you find it difficult to achieve or maintain an erection because your internal dialogue says that sex is a performance that a man has to flawlessly put on, then you are normal.

5. Climaxing too quickly if you’re holding your breath or you’re too physically tense

The fastest way to cum faster than you wanted to is to a) hold your breath or breathe in a shallow manner, and b) tense your major muscle groups. When you do both at the same time, it is fairly inevitable that you will be cut off from your body and you will be more prone to finishing faster than you wanted to.

To gain more control over your sexual stamina, do the opposite. Breathe deeply into your belly, and consciously relax your body as much as you are able to.

That’s it for this article.

I hope that you feel a bit more normal, a bit more safe in the world, and a bit less anxious about your sex life from this point forwards.

Simply connect to your body, love it for what it gives you, and take care of yourself as best as you can.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will definitely love checking out a few of the following:

How To Strengthen Your Penis For Better Sex

How To Last Longer In Bed: 9 Simple Exercises

7 Exercises To Increase Sexual Stamina

The Best Sex Toy For Men, Ever (article, and video)

Supercharge Your Sex Life (video)

Blog

Related

See All
8 Things Men And Women Hate Hearing From Their Partner
Mar 21, 2016
Jordan Gray
8 Things Men And Women Hate Hearing From Their Partner
Where are men and women most vulnerable? What specific things do their partners say to them that bother them the most? When and how do they feel the most criticized? You asked me… I asked them… and they answered. These poll-style articles have become a consistent hit that my readers seem to love, so...
Continue Reading
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
Dec 26, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Top 10 Best Articles Of 2016
2016 was a massive year of growth for me. Many big wins and many big challenges. On the wins side... I helped more people this past year than I had cumulatively helped in my previous six years of coaching combined, I cultivated a deep sense of community for the first time in my adult life, I lived...
Continue Reading
How To Give A Life-Changing Pussy Massage (aka Yoni Massage)
Jan 19, 2020
Jordan Gray
How To Give A Life-Changing Pussy Massage (aka Yoni Massage)
What is a pussy massage? A pussy massage (aka “yoni” massage) uses specific emotional and physical techniques to deliver an erotic full body massage that focuses on/around the vulva. However, the power of this experience goes WAY beyond traditional body massage, where she would usually just be getting...
Continue Reading
The 3 Most Important Things You Can Do To Have A Better Sex Life
Feb 18, 2021
Jordan Gray
The 3 Most Important Things You Can Do To Have A Better Sex Life
If there's one thing I receive more emails about on a weekly basis than anything else, it's sex. How do I get more sex from my partner? How do I have better sex? How can I last longer? How do I get my partner to initiate more? As a society, our relationship to sex is primarily through the ego. The...
Continue Reading
The Best Sex Toy For Women, Ever
Oct 22, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Best Sex Toy For Women, Ever
Last week I released the article The Best Sex Toy For Men, Ever. And, understandably, my female followers wanted to see an article written with them in mind. Now, I’ve never inhabited a female body in this lifetime, and am ill equipped to say what works best for women. So I enlisted the help of my thousands...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading