Oct 7, 2017

This Is Why You’re Unhappy

You are unhappy because you have been in a long-term romance with your misery for as long as you can remember.

From such a young age, you have been convinced that misery is what you should predominantly feel.

Your parents, siblings, culture, peer group, and religions have taught you that pain is the default.

Don’t be too happy… you’ll attract jealousy.

Don’t laugh too loudly… people will think you’re strange.

Don’t be too proud of your looks, or your successes, or your wins… you’ll be seen as full of yourself.

In other words…

Don’t thrive… people won’t like you.

You are thought to be a crazy person if you are happy for ‘no good reason’.

It is conditioned into you as being better to keep your head down, and sulk and complain like everyone else, than to tap into your inner state of bliss.

When you really tap into the reality that the vast majority of what most people do with their communication is complain and gossip, it’s easy to want to opt out of it.

How often do you slow down for long enough to remember that happiness is your default emotional state?

If you were a robot that came from a factory, happiness would be your out-of-the-box setting. That is how you are meant to be, most of the time. It takes work to be miserable.

But if it takes effort to be miserable, why do we keep going on in this way?

Two reasons.

1. You have learned, repeatedly throughout the course of your lifetime, that you get more attention when you are struggling.

You get sympathy. You get people’s energy. You get to tap into a low-hanging-fruit sense of importance.

2. It allows you to avoid taking responsibility for your life.

The more you get the pity of others, the less motivated you’ll be to make any changes. And making changes often requires courage… courage that you don’t want to expend. Your ego tells you, “Better to be miserable, get all of this attention lavished on me, and not have to do anything about changing my life. I’ll just sit in this dark, dirty, bliss-eroding little ditch I’ve carved out for myself. This will be much easier.” And yet, it isn’t. It takes more effort to be miserable than it does to allow yourself to wake up and remember how nothing is holding you back from bliss other than your mind.

So what do you do with all of this?

Remember that 99% of misery is self-constructed and self-perpetuated.

Let your mind let go. Sit down, take a few deep breaths, and acknowledge how much about your life (in your body, in your relationships, in your present-day levels of ease) is functioning well already.

If you are aware of things that aren’t functioning well in your life, change them.

Don’t mistake me. I’m not telling you to out-think your problems and tell yourself that everything is hunky-dory when you’re actually in real, situational pain. Rather, I’m suggesting that you let go of misery as a lifestyle choice, and change whatever is necessary for you to change in order for your natural state of happiness to emerge.

You already have all of the tools inside of you. You might be afraid to utilize some of them. You might fear that you’ll lose love if you do. But they are available to you, and they are begging to be used.

If you aren’t sure as to whether or not something is good or bad for you, check in with your body.

Your mind is an anxiety-ridden idiot. All it does is express doubt. That is it’s job.

Your heart/gut/intuition is where it’s at. So ask your body. It already knows the answer.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also benefit from reading:

How To Overcome Depression Naturally

How To Manage Stress (Or How I Weathered My Shit Storm Of A Year)

7 Simple Tips To Beat Anxiety Naturally

All Of Your Suffering Was Worth It

Blog

Related

See All
The Intentional Life Ep.1: Discover Your Core Gifts With Ken Page
May 16, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.1: Discover Your Core Gifts With Ken Page
I sent out a survey to my readers a few months ago asking what people wanted to see more of, and there was a huge vote for more free video content. Well, ask and you shall receive! Introducing (drum roll please...), the first episode of The Intentional Life video series. In today's episode,...
Continue Reading
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
Dec 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Steps To Financial Freedom
The majority of the world lives paycheque to paycheque with little to no savings in the bank. And not having money sucks. Imagine waking up in the morning with zero debt. Imagine never having to worry about how you are going to pay for your rent/mortgage/groceries ever again. Imagine waking up with...
Continue Reading
7 Simple Rules For Authentic Happiness
Feb 13, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Simple Rules For Authentic Happiness
I am not a doctor. I am not a researcher. I am not a happiness expert. I am a human being who has (at the time of posting this) lived for less than thirty years, and has accumulated thoughts about how life works. These are some of those thoughts. I hope that you get value from them. Here are seven...
Continue Reading
Your Value Is Not Your Body
Jun 27, 2017
Jordan Gray
Your Value Is Not Your Body
Your value is not your body. Your value is not tied in to how well you make love. Your value is not your gorgeous ass, or your perfect lips, or your perfect hair. Your value is not your fancy adornments, or biceps, or the lack of or presence of a thigh gap. Your value is not in your weight, shape,...
Continue Reading
How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life
Kelly woke up just as angry as she had been when she fell asleep. She rolled over and, letting out a sigh of relief, felt glad that her husband had already gotten up. Honestly, she didn’t want to see his face right now. Putting on her favourite pink slippers, she made her way downstairs...
Continue Reading
The Importance Of Celebrating Success
Mar 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
The Importance Of Celebrating Success
The Importance Of Celebrating Success My torso is covered in neon green and blue body paint.  I'm drinking cheap vodka out of a bucket with a glow-in-the-dark straw.  My arms are wrapped around a beautiful, Scandinavian woman that I met no less than five minutes ago. I look over...
Continue Reading