In western society we are raised with an independence-is-the-only-way mindset. And this does so much damage to us it’s ridiculous.
You walk down the street and see women sporting t-shirts that say “100% single” or “I don’t need no man”.
You hear men bragging about how long they’ve been single for and how they think that “all women are trouble”.
We are so afraid of leaning on others.
Afraid of coming across as too eager.
Afraid of seeming too dependent on our lovers to have our needs met.
But we do need each other. Humans are a social species and we need each other to survive.
While sex toy technology improves, no vibrator can wrap it’s warm, strong arms around you and have it’s whispers of “I love you” flood your brain with happiness and connection chemicals.
No heated body pillow can calibrate it’s words and energy to the kind of loving support you need as you go to bed.
No matter how you rationalize your need for independence, people need loving relationships to thrive.
“But I Don’t Need A Relationship To Make Me Happy”
You are absolutely right.
You also don’t need to exercise, eat meat, or go to live concerts to stay alive… but they make life a lot more enjoyable.
We are all capable of heart-bursting, ecstatic love. We can get there on our own, and we can get there with others. My two cents? Allow yourself to lean on your lover (and others) for support.
Don’t listen to the dogma that says you have to be a perfect, highly functioning human being before you even consider entering into a relationship. No one is perfect… ever. The sooner you get over your resistance to being seen as needy or weak for wanting to rely on others, the better.
Why Do We Need Others To Thrive?
Because we do.
And it might feel scary to let people see you as having needs, but it’s necessary for your fulfillment.
So let her see you cry… let yourself text him one times “too many”… lay your head down on your partners chest and accept their nurturing love.