Nov 12, 2016

You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

Repeat after me…

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Say it out loud. Don’t worry… I’ll wait.

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Done? How did that feel?

If you’re like most people, there’s probably a combination of a little bit of fear/nervousness, mixed in with a deep sense of peace and calm.

It can be confronting to allow ourselves to recognize that our needs and desires are not unreasonable, but in fact, completely fine and acceptable.

We have never lived in more amazing times. We live in an era of unprecedented abundance, across all areas of life. And now is the time to be selfish.

In Your Love Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to be sexually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to be intellectually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel emotionally safe with your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel spiritually connected with your partner.

You are allowed to want a partner who is blonde, brunette, slender, fit, chubby, overweight, bald, or big-nosed.

You are allowed to want them to be employed. Or financially self-sufficient. Or slightly arrogant. Or shy. Or taller than you. Or any other number of things.

Whatever you want in a partner, you are allowed to want what you want.

In Your Work Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to work 12 hours a day, or eight, or two, or zero.

You are allowed to want to give to the world using your innate gifts.

You are allowed to want to affect millions of people… or one person.

You are allowed to feel excited by your work. You’re allowed to feel deeply fulfilled by your work. You’re allowed to not resonate with people that resent Monday’s and thank god it’s Friday.

You are allowed to have the exact kind of impact that you want to have on the world, by providing value in a way that lights you up.

With Your Physical Body: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to wear luxurious fabrics that complement your body.

You are allowed to want to be in the best shape of your life. You’re allowed to want to be in love with your body. You’re allowed to put on as much or as little make up as you want.

You’re allowed to want the exact type of sex that you most enjoy. You’re allowed to want a partner who massively turns you on. You’re allowed to want to reach sexual ecstasy on a regular basis.

You are allowed to embrace yourself, as you are, in this very moment.

All too often, we lose sight of this simple truth… but it’s true. You are allowed to want what you want.

It isn’t self-indulgence… it’s self-honouring.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also love reading:

– The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do

– 4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often

– How To Figure Out What Your Ideal Sex Life Looks Like

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
The Intentional Life Ep.7: The Ultimate Nutritional Supplements
Jul 2, 2017
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.7: The Ultimate Nutritional Supplements
This week on the Intentional Life, I interview my good friend Mike Muscari. If you follow me closely, you might recognize Mike from various things I've posted over the last year. Mike is a wave surfing, biohacking, dog-owning serial entrepreneur with a heart of gold. He also lives his life with...
Continue Reading
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
Apr 20, 2015
Jordan Gray
How Experiencing Burnout Made Me A Better Partner
A couple of years ago when I first started building my business, I was working unsustainably crazy hours. I wrote three books in two months, I was writing four new articles per week, and I was hopping around from city to city every few days and dealing with all of the logistics that came along with that. It...
Continue Reading
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
Jul 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
7 Incredibly Reasonable Things You’re Allowed To Want In A Partner
When I work with single clients, they often hesitate to fully acknowledge what they want in a partner. In fact, there are a handful of themes that consistently come up as it pertains to things they don't give themselves full permission to want. And without conscious awareness of these themes, people...
Continue Reading
What You Can Learn About Love From Watching 'The Bachelor'
Mar 5, 2014
Jordan Gray
What You Can Learn About Love From Watching ‘The Bachelor’
People are inherently lazy. We want to do as little as possible for the promise of maximum results achieved. Work out once a week and get ripped. Get rich while you sleep. Find your dream partner in a day. And while all of these things are certainly possible, they tend to require an initial...
Continue Reading
How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup
Nov 18, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup
The pain of a breakup can be excruciatingly intense. I know because I've been there. I started working in sex and relationships full time because the pain of a breakup levelled me so hard that it shook up my entire life. We had been dating for just over a year. I thought I was going to marry...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Dec 31, 2018
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Get Your Physical Touch Needs Met When You’re Single
Yesterday, a close friend of mine asked me for ideas on how to get their physical touch needs met outside of a relationship (as they are currently single) and I realized I had a lot more to say on the matter than I would have assumed. So, in this article, I am going to dive into seven ways that...
Continue Reading