Nov 12, 2016

You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

Repeat after me…

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Say it out loud. Don’t worry… I’ll wait.

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Done? How did that feel?

If you’re like most people, there’s probably a combination of a little bit of fear/nervousness, mixed in with a deep sense of peace and calm.

It can be confronting to allow ourselves to recognize that our needs and desires are not unreasonable, but in fact, completely fine and acceptable.

We have never lived in more amazing times. We live in an era of unprecedented abundance, across all areas of life. And now is the time to be selfish.

In Your Love Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to be sexually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to be intellectually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel emotionally safe with your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel spiritually connected with your partner.

You are allowed to want a partner who is blonde, brunette, slender, fit, chubby, overweight, bald, or big-nosed.

You are allowed to want them to be employed. Or financially self-sufficient. Or slightly arrogant. Or shy. Or taller than you. Or any other number of things.

Whatever you want in a partner, you are allowed to want what you want.

In Your Work Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to work 12 hours a day, or eight, or two, or zero.

You are allowed to want to give to the world using your innate gifts.

You are allowed to want to affect millions of people… or one person.

You are allowed to feel excited by your work. You’re allowed to feel deeply fulfilled by your work. You’re allowed to not resonate with people that resent Monday’s and thank god it’s Friday.

You are allowed to have the exact kind of impact that you want to have on the world, by providing value in a way that lights you up.

With Your Physical Body: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to wear luxurious fabrics that complement your body.

You are allowed to want to be in the best shape of your life. You’re allowed to want to be in love with your body. You’re allowed to put on as much or as little make up as you want.

You’re allowed to want the exact type of sex that you most enjoy. You’re allowed to want a partner who massively turns you on. You’re allowed to want to reach sexual ecstasy on a regular basis.

You are allowed to embrace yourself, as you are, in this very moment.

All too often, we lose sight of this simple truth… but it’s true. You are allowed to want what you want.

It isn’t self-indulgence… it’s self-honouring.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also love reading:

The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do

4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often

How To Figure Out What Your Ideal Sex Life Looks Like

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
5 Signs That You Are Truly Living
Sep 17, 2013
Jordan Gray
5 Signs That You Are Truly Living
Are you truly living? Have you ever blown out the candles on your birthday cake and thought to yourself, "Another year already?" There is a big difference between living your life, and feeling alive in your life. If you're simply living your life, you’re probably used to monotony. Life...
Continue Reading
The Benefits Of Entrepreneur / Entrepreneur Relationships
Oct 24, 2015
Jordan Gray
The Benefits Of Entrepreneur / Entrepreneur Relationships
I've written in the past about the best type of intimate partner for an entrepreneur, and things that driven people need in their love lives, but what about when both of the people in the relationship are entrepreneurs and/or self-employed? I get this question quite regularly so I thought I would...
Continue Reading
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
Jul 30, 2016
Jordan Gray
This Woman Changed My Life Forever
At the beginning of 2014 I set out with the intention to fall more deeply in love with myself than I ever had before. And when I get an idea in my head, I commit to it fully. I hired a self-love coach that I checked in with at least once per week. I started working with a therapist to dig into some...
Continue Reading
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
Dec 7, 2025
Jordan Gray
The Real Reason High Achievers Burn Out
High achievers have a consistent problem that not enough people talk about publicly. They're disciplined, capable, responsible... and yet somehow still exhausted. They often have a million balls they're juggling in the air (people they're responsible for, livelihoods they support, people who come to...
Continue Reading
A Letter To My 15 Year Old Self
Jun 8, 2019
Jordan Gray
A Letter To My 15 Year Old Self
First of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of the pain that you’re feeling. I’m sorry that you don’t feel like you have a family. That you are somehow separate… unwanted… unloved. None of that is true. Your family loves you deeply. Your friends love you deeply. You are so wanted in this world. I...
Continue Reading
What To Talk About On A First Date
Apr 2, 2014
Jordan Gray
What To Talk About On A First Date
No matter how many first dates you’ve been on, they are always a bit nerve-racking. You show up with sweaty palms and racing thoughts ("Will they be fun… or awkward? Will I be attracted to them? Will the date go as well as I think it might?"), hoping that you make a real connection with someone...
Continue Reading