Nov 12, 2016

You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

Repeat after me…

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Say it out loud. Don’t worry… I’ll wait.

“I am allowed to want what I want.”

Done? How did that feel?

If you’re like most people, there’s probably a combination of a little bit of fear/nervousness, mixed in with a deep sense of peace and calm.

It can be confronting to allow ourselves to recognize that our needs and desires are not unreasonable, but in fact, completely fine and acceptable.

We have never lived in more amazing times. We live in an era of unprecedented abundance, across all areas of life. And now is the time to be selfish.

In Your Love Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to be sexually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to be intellectually attracted to your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel emotionally safe with your partner.

You are allowed to want to feel spiritually connected with your partner.

You are allowed to want a partner who is blonde, brunette, slender, fit, chubby, overweight, bald, or big-nosed.

You are allowed to want them to be employed. Or financially self-sufficient. Or slightly arrogant. Or shy. Or taller than you. Or any other number of things.

Whatever you want in a partner, you are allowed to want what you want.

In Your Work Life: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to work 12 hours a day, or eight, or two, or zero.

You are allowed to want to give to the world using your innate gifts.

You are allowed to want to affect millions of people… or one person.

You are allowed to feel excited by your work. You’re allowed to feel deeply fulfilled by your work. You’re allowed to not resonate with people that resent Monday’s and thank god it’s Friday.

You are allowed to have the exact kind of impact that you want to have on the world, by providing value in a way that lights you up.

With Your Physical Body: You Are Allowed To Want What You Want

You are allowed to want to wear luxurious fabrics that complement your body.

You are allowed to want to be in the best shape of your life. You’re allowed to want to be in love with your body. You’re allowed to put on as much or as little make up as you want.

You’re allowed to want the exact type of sex that you most enjoy. You’re allowed to want a partner who massively turns you on. You’re allowed to want to reach sexual ecstasy on a regular basis.

You are allowed to embrace yourself, as you are, in this very moment.

All too often, we lose sight of this simple truth… but it’s true. You are allowed to want what you want.

It isn’t self-indulgence… it’s self-honouring.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you’ll likely also love reading:

– The Hardest And Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do

– 4 Honest As Fuck Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Often

– How To Figure Out What Your Ideal Sex Life Looks Like

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
Men Who Cry Are Beautiful
Nov 13, 2016
Jordan Gray
Men Who Cry Are Beautiful
Men are societally discouraged from crying from a young age, and that’s a problem. As a result of men chronically suppressing their emotions, we have a drastically higher rate of suicide. Of course there are other factors that lead to people taking their lives, but I see emotional suppression as the...
Continue Reading
4 Positive Addictions That You Should Indulge In
Jan 4, 2020
Jordan Gray
4 Positive Addictions That You Should Indulge In
Addictions are usually thought of as behaviours that damage and hinder your life. But addictions and compulsions are on a sliding scale. Some, you could argue, are more useful than others. There’s very little upside to being a heroin addict. But there are many other habits that are considered addictions,...
Continue Reading
Feeling Sad/Anxious/Grumpy? Read This
Aug 19, 2017
Jordan Gray
Feeling Sad/Anxious/Grumpy? Read This
Bad days happen. They are unavoidable. But sometimes our minds take our bad days and make them appear much worse than they actually are. Go through this series of questions, reminders, and action steps whenever you’re in the dumps and you want to get back to feeling grounded, connected, and conten...
Continue Reading
Hope Is A Terrible Plan
Jan 27, 2024
Jordan Gray
Hope Is A Terrible Plan
In the quest for love, hope, while comforting, often falls short as a strategy. The truth is, love seldom knocks on doors uninvited. It's found in the midst of life's hustle, in the laughter shared over a coffee, in the serendipitous encounters at a bookstore, or in the electric air of a social gathering. When...
Continue Reading
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
Sep 25, 2016
Jordan Gray
How I Overcame Sexual Addiction
"My name is Jordan, and I'm a sex addict." As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt like a total impostor. The men and women seated around me, legs crossed and arms folded, draped over orange plastic chairs, would see right through me any second now. Even though I was staring down at the floor, I...
Continue Reading
The 3 Most Damaging Myths About Dating
Apr 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 3 Most Damaging Myths About Dating
When it comes to relationships, people love to blindly follow black and white rules with zero nuance. Why? Because it feels safer that way. Why tap into your own gut-level intuition when you can just follow the rules that someone else passed on to you? Here are three of the most annoyingly pervasive...
Continue Reading