Is your sub-par sex life seriously sucking as of late?
Do you wish you had sex more often with your significant other? Do you wish you both spent more time on foreplay? Do you wish that, just once, your partner would be the one to initiate sex?
Here’s a novel idea…
Ask them.
No matter how emotionally intelligent your partner is… regardless of age, orientation, gender, or anything else… they can’t read your mind.
If you’re in a relationship with a loving, compassionate partner, have you considered explicitly asking for what you want?
As mature as some of us are, it can sometimes still be difficult to deploy the vulnerability it takes to tell our partners what our sexual needs are. And guess what… that’s just fine. Being assertive/clear/able to communicate with our lover isn’t always going to be easy. But if we’re mature enough to be in an emotionally intimate relationship with someone and we regularly share our bodies with them, then we can also be mature enough to tell them about our sexual desires.
I know that I’m biased because I’m a very direct person and I have little problem asking for my needs to be met… but I have yet to meet a partner who didn’t massively appreciate that way of being. Because the truth is, if we’re so used to playing the guessing game about what our partner wants, it’s a breath of fresh air to be explicitly told what they want.
We could all use a bit more direct communication in our relationships… and this shows up even more in our sex lives.
No more going down on your partner for half an hour and having to wonder which parts of what you’re doing is working for them or not… you can ask.
No more silently simmering with sexual desire as your partner drifts off to sleep and you struggle to pass out because you just want to have sex… you can ask.
No more resenting them for not having initiated sex with you in several months… you can ask.
Want to explore new fantasies? Want more extended foreplay? Want to get out of the bedroom and vary where you have sex? You can ask.
And while asking doesn’t guarantee that your partner will comply with your request, you’ll at least have been honest about what your desires are. You’ll be living with more integrity. And you’ll be able to start a dialogue about your sexual needs that will then make it easier for both you and your partner to bring things up in the future.
Whatever you want from your sex life, you can ask.
You are fully within your right to have your ideal sex life. You’re allowed to enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy as long as you’re doing it with someone who is as excited and consenting as you about that thing. You can have two minutes of missionary position sex in the dark… or you can be tied up and spanked for six hours while having your lover video tape it. Want a better sex life? You just have to ask.
Do you have a specific question about your sex life that you need an outsiders perspective on? Not sure if what you want is a reasonable thing to ask for? Reach out and let’s chat.
Are you a man and you want to be able to have the sex life you’ve always dreamed of? Check this out.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
