Dec 28, 2014

5 Dates That Will Reconnect You As A Couple

Whether you’ve been dating for a few weeks, or a few decades, every couple needs a few stand-by dates that they can use to quickly reconnect.

Maybe you’ve been busy. Maybe you haven’t made the time to slow down and really see each other. Maybe you’ve been having a stressful week at work and haven’t been putting as much attention into your relationship.

Whatever the reason, it’s a temporary roadblock and these date ideas will blast through the feelings of disconnection.

Here are five powerful date ideas that will reconnect you as a couple.

1. Wine, fireplace, underwear, and deep conversation

This is a favourite date for my girlfriend and me. And it’s just as simple as it sounds.

Remove your physical layers of ego by stripping down to your underwear (or less), grabbing a bottle of wine (or favourite other beverage), and sitting in front of a fireplace (if you have access to one). If there’s no fireplace to be found, making a big comfy pit out of pillows, blankets, and other soft things will do. What you’re really after is creating a soft, comfortable space where you can be soft and comfortable with each other.

Lots of eye gazing, deep conversations, extended kisses, and touching. Anyone whose love languages are quality time and physical touch will adore this date.

Not sure what to talk about? You can start by asking deep questions.

2. Guided meditation

Does the hustle and bustle of every day life have you both stuck in your heads and feeling disconnected from your bodies? Try doing a guided meditation together.

There are some amazing mind-body awareness meditation tracks that you and your partner can listen to together as you reconnect on a spiritual level. Or you can listen to a meditation track that connects you as a couple.

If hearing someone else guide you through meditation isn’t your thing, you can always try out the seven breath forehead connection exercise listed in this article on connection exercise for couples.

3. Spoiling sessions

Want to reconnect with your partner on a physical and sexual level?

Spoiling sessions are one of my absolute favourite things to prescribe to my clients who are in relationships.

A spoiling session is a 30-45 minute block of time where you or your partner are afforded the opportunity to ask for whatever you want. Whether that looks like a 45 minute full body coconut oil massage, various forms of cuddling, a specific sexual position or uninterrupted oral sex, or all of the above, it’s your time to ask for and receive what you want from your loving partner.

Not only do spoiling sessions allow the receiving partner to tap into exactly what they want moment to moment, it also builds their verbal courage of being the one who is continually asking for what they want. There will be a certain amount of anxiety that comes along with doing this for the first time (as many people are conditioned to believe that being “selfish” is a negative thing) but it will help you grow as an individual and as a couple.

Nervous about the silence? You can always create a 30-45 minute playlist of your favourite music to relax you even further into the exercise.

4. Spend time together in nature

Time in nature sucks out the toxicity of our every day city living.

Get away from the constant wifi signals, traffic sounds, and the general din of your daily life by reconnecting in nature.

Go to the beach together and hold/be held by your partner in the ocean. Go camping together in an uber-remote area. Pack a picnic lunch and sit together in the forest.

Time spent in nature is a fantastic and efficient way to reconnect as a couple.

5. Couples therapy/relationship coaching

Depending on how disconnected you and your partner feel, or how proactive you both are with your relationship, having an outsider perspective help you see the blind spots in your relationship will do wonders to reconnect you as a couple.

As human beings, we can’t see our own blind spots. Surgeons can’t perform surgery on themselves just as therapists can’t fully ‘therapy’ themselves. We need other people sometimes and there’s no shame in that. Asking others for guidance is one of the most human and courageous things we can do for ourselves.

Maybe you and your partner need to bring forth conversational topics that have died off in recent months. Maybe your sex life needs a boost. Or maybe you are already doing really well and want to make sure that your relationship continues to operate at an exceptionally high level. Whatever your reasons are, couples therapy or relationship coaching could be one of the best things that you ever did for yourself.

Curious as to what relationship coaching could do for you in your love life? Check out my coaching page for more information.

Ps. You can also check out my book, 50 Powerful Date Ideas, on my books page!

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 18 years, with his work reaching over 250 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading a book, working out with his trainer, or spending time with his wife and son on the East Coast of the United States.

Blog

Related

See All
Striving vs. Contentment - How To Be Driven And Happy At The Same Time
Nov 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Striving vs. Contentment – How To Be Driven And Happy At The Same Time
How do you find a balance between striving for greatness and finding contentment in the present moment? Striving, or whatever you want to call it- being driven, yearning, reaching for the stars- comes at a cost if you don't balance it with enjoying what you have already achieved. Whether you are...
Continue Reading
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
May 3, 2015
Jordan Gray
A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship
Want to strengthen your relationship? Print out the following words and sign it with your partner. - Dear (THE NAME OF YOUR PARTNER), I promise to be gentle with you and your heart. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary...
Continue Reading
7 Signs You Should Break Up With Them
Apr 8, 2014
Jordan Gray
7 Signs You Should Break Up With Them
Is there anything more painful than the state of limbo that occurs when you're living in a relationship and you aren't sure whether or not you should end it? Did something change in the relationship? Maybe you're growing apart… or you're falling out of love… maybe you were never in love in the first...
Continue Reading
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Nov 5, 2013
Jordan Gray
What To Do When She Is Mad At You
Her arms are crossed. She’s stopped communicating with you entirely. She's reluctant to make eye contact with you… and when she does look your way, her gaze is hollow and icy. You rack your brain for what you could have done… What did you say? Did your flirty banter with that waitress over lunch go...
Continue Reading
5 Ways To Be A Better Live-In Partner
Jan 13, 2015
Jordan Gray
5 Ways To Be A Better Live-In Partner
Do you live with your significant other, or plan to live with one in the future? Great! Read on… It’s so easy to take our relationship for granted when we live with our partner and see them every day. When you live apart from each other they seem like more of a scarce resource. When will you see...
Continue Reading
Does An Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex? Not Quite…
Feb 12, 2014
Jordan Gray
Does An Equal Marriage Equal Less Sex? Not Quite…
Recent research has shown that the more equal and fair couples are in their partnership the less sex they have. The more the man does what are considered to be more feminine chores, the happier she says she is with him as a partner, but the less sexually desirable she finds him. But is this really...
Continue Reading