Dec 28, 2014

5 Dates That Will Reconnect You As A Couple

Whether you’ve been dating for a few weeks, or a few decades, every couple needs a few stand-by dates that they can use to quickly reconnect.

Maybe you’ve been busy. Maybe you haven’t made the time to slow down and really see each other. Maybe you’ve been having a stressful week at work and haven’t been putting as much attention into your relationship.

Whatever the reason, it’s a temporary roadblock and these date ideas will blast through the feelings of disconnection.

Here are five powerful date ideas that will reconnect you as a couple.

1. Wine, fireplace, underwear, and deep conversation

This is a favourite date for my girlfriend and me. And it’s just as simple as it sounds.

Remove your physical layers of ego by stripping down to your underwear (or less), grabbing a bottle of wine (or favourite other beverage), and sitting in front of a fireplace (if you have access to one). If there’s no fireplace to be found, making a big comfy pit out of pillows, blankets, and other soft things will do. What you’re really after is creating a soft, comfortable space where you can be soft and comfortable with each other.

Lots of eye gazing, deep conversations, extended kisses, and touching. Anyone whose love languages are quality time and physical touch will adore this date.

Not sure what to talk about? You can start by asking deep questions.

2. Guided meditation

Does the hustle and bustle of every day life have you both stuck in your heads and feeling disconnected from your bodies? Try doing a guided meditation together.

There are some amazing mind-body awareness meditation tracks that you and your partner can listen to together as you reconnect on a spiritual level. Or you can listen to a meditation track that connects you as a couple.

If hearing someone else guide you through meditation isn’t your thing, you can always try out the seven breath forehead connection exercise listed in this article on connection exercise for couples.

3. Spoiling sessions

Want to reconnect with your partner on a physical and sexual level?

Spoiling sessions are one of my absolute favourite things to prescribe to my clients who are in relationships.

A spoiling session is a 30-45 minute block of time where you or your partner are afforded the opportunity to ask for whatever you want. Whether that looks like a 45 minute full body coconut oil massage, various forms of cuddling, a specific sexual position or uninterrupted oral sex, or all of the above, it’s your time to ask for and receive what you want from your loving partner.

Not only do spoiling sessions allow the receiving partner to tap into exactly what they want moment to moment, it also builds their verbal courage of being the one who is continually asking for what they want. There will be a certain amount of anxiety that comes along with doing this for the first time (as many people are conditioned to believe that being “selfish” is a negative thing) but it will help you grow as an individual and as a couple.

Nervous about the silence? You can always create a 30-45 minute playlist of your favourite music to relax you even further into the exercise.

4. Spend time together in nature

Time in nature sucks out the toxicity of our every day city living.

Get away from the constant wifi signals, traffic sounds, and the general din of your daily life by reconnecting in nature.

Go to the beach together and hold/be held by your partner in the ocean. Go camping together in an uber-remote area. Pack a picnic lunch and sit together in the forest.

Time spent in nature is a fantastic and efficient way to reconnect as a couple.

5. Couples therapy/relationship coaching

Depending on how disconnected you and your partner feel, or how proactive you both are with your relationship, having an outsider perspective help you see the blind spots in your relationship will do wonders to reconnect you as a couple.

As human beings, we can’t see our own blind spots. Surgeons can’t perform surgery on themselves just as therapists can’t fully ‘therapy’ themselves. We need other people sometimes and there’s no shame in that. Asking others for guidance is one of the most human and courageous things we can do for ourselves.

Maybe you and your partner need to bring forth conversational topics that have died off in recent months. Maybe your sex life needs a boost. Or maybe you are already doing really well and want to make sure that your relationship continues to operate at an exceptionally high level. Whatever your reasons are, couples therapy or relationship coaching could be one of the best things that you ever did for yourself.

Curious as to what relationship coaching could do for you in your love life? Check out my coaching page for more information.

Ps. You can also check out my book, 50 Powerful Date Ideas, on my books page!

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Why Being Needy Is A Good Thing
Dec 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Being Needy Is A Good Thing
In western society we are raised with an independence-is-the-only-way mindset. And this does so much damage to us it's ridiculous. You walk down the street and see women sporting t-shirts that say "100% single" or "I don't need no man". You hear men bragging about how long they've been single for...
Continue Reading
7 Ways To Increase Your Value In The Dating Market
May 5, 2019
Jordan Gray
7 Ways To Increase Your Value In The Dating Market
(Trigger warning for people who fear hard truths, self-responsibility, and tough love.) Allllllllright… I just got a reader email that made my blood boil. So this is going to be a rant. But don’t worry… it’ll be a valuable rant. Here we go. This email (from Laurie in San Diego, CA) landed...
Continue Reading
10 Ways To Be The Most Romantic Partner She's Ever Had
Dec 30, 2013
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Be The Most Romantic Partner She’s Ever Had
"Romance is for the unmarried." "Chivalry is dead." "Real men aren't romantic." I've heard these sentiments uttered by people throughout my life. And what a load of crap. The truth? All men have the ability to be romantic. Granted, many guys are afraid to do romantic things because they...
Continue Reading
How To Write A Love Letter That Will Make Them Cry
Feb 9, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Write A Love Letter That Will Make Them Cry
Whether you want to profess your love to someone special, or you want to re-affirm your love to your significant other, words are a massively powerful tool. The problem is that most people aren’t as eloquent as they would like to be when it comes to putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). If...
Continue Reading
The 5 Best Books On Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Nov 4, 2015
Jordan Gray
The 5 Best Books On Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Sometimes I read a book and I’m like, "HOLY JEEBUS I AM TEN PAGES IN AND THIS THING HAS ALREADY CHANGED MY LIFE!" The following five books are some of my favourites of those kinds of books. Some of them primarily help you with your relationship to yourself (#'s 1, 2, and 3), and others primarily help...
Continue Reading
How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential
Oct 1, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Know If Your Relationship Has Potential
You're a few months (or years) into your relationship and you're wondering whether or not this particular pairing has potential. You feel like you've wasted time with past partners and you don't want to make the same mistake again. Well, you're in luck. Having counselled hundreds of people over the...
Continue Reading