Have you ever wondered if you can go from hating blowjobs to loving them?
Not just tolerating. Not getting through. But truthfully getting to a place where you adore giving them?
Ever since my wife Demetra and I released our video course, Queen of Blowjobs, my email inbox has been flooded with amazing stories of women who have transformed their relationships with blowjobs.
With their permission and blessing, I decided to share the stories of a few women who have written in.
Perhaps you’ll find this inspiring. Perhaps you will see yourself in some of these women’s stories. More than anything, I hope this serves to give you an idea of what is possible.
Without further ado, here are seven women’s stories about moving from hating blowjobs to absolutely loving them.
7 Women Who Hated Giving Blowjobs, But Now Love It
1. “I was never a ‘cock’ girl…” -Lori, 62
“I’m a 62-year-old woman, married for almost 30 years, divorced for about 4. I was never a ‘cock’ girl, never understood the importance of the relationship between a man and his cock, much less how a woman might be a part of this important relationship.
Yes, I gave the obligatory blowjob once a year on my ex’s birthday and never gave it much thought nor did I find myself enjoying the act. I purely did it to be ‘a good wife.’ I’m sure he enjoyed it, as rare as it was. But I never felt the way I feel now.
It was an epiphany of sorts. That I actually enjoyed giving my boyfriend blowjobs. That it was a huge turn on for me and certainly for him. I shared this epiphany with my boyfriend and he seemed a bit surprised, pleasantly I might add. That I had come to realize what I think is a significant part of our relationship, our intimate connection and a shared passion/experience… and here’s how I came to this realization.
It started out as a general interest/desire to be close to his cock… soft, hard, pre or post sexual activity… in fact, I would find myself staring at my boyfriend’s crotch a lot… even while we were with others… it was as if I was drawn to this area whereas I had never been interested before. Of course, it brings him tremendous pleasure but more importantly, it does the same for me. I can sense his passion and enthusiasm in various ways, physically and verbally. And I in turn, respond in the same ways… his excitement brings me excitement.
It really came down to this… recognizing this desire, making him aware of it and trying out all kinds of ways to explore and enjoy being close to his cock.
I’ll frequently softly massage his scrotum and testicles during my caressing/sucking/licking and can definitely feel his passion climbing… that in turn makes me feel empowered/confident and turned on. We frequently orgasm together while I am simply pleasuring him. My adoration of his cock was an epiphany and it was a critical moment for me/us.” – Lori, 62
2. From obligation to enthusiasm
“It feels like a stretch to say that I used to hate giving blowjobs… but if I had to summarize my feelings towards blowjobs in a one word, that word would have been: obligation.
Blowjobs felt like a thing that I just had to do. Like, of course, this is what a good girlfriend does… a good woman does. And so I did that. Not super often, mind you. But enough that I couldn’t be called out for not doing it.
It wasn’t until a friend told me about your Queen of Blowjobs programs, and I went through it and put everything into action, that I actually came to (this might sound strange, but it’s true) not just enjoy blowjobs, but honestly look forward to them. As in, I’m just as excited on days when I know I’m going to be giving my fiance a blowjob later that night, as when we have an exciting date night planned. It’s that big of a difference lol!” – Tina
3. “My body really came to love the experience, releasing emotional knots I had carried for years.” -Amanda, 53
“For years, the thought of giving blowjobs filled me with unease. I was uncomfortable with the intimacy, the vulnerability, the very notion of taking someone’s most prized possession and placing it between my teeth.
Not only that, an early lover had told me that I was ‘terrible’ at it, and, being someone with a mean perfectionist streak, I vehemently dislike feeling like a failure at anything. So I kind of just… opted out of the whole thing.
My turning point came unexpectedly. After a particularly stressful week at work, I was absentmindedly snacking on cucumber sticks at my desk, when I just started… playing with them. I remember tonguing the cucumber stick around in my mouth, and just feeling how good it felt to enjoy this oral sensation.
I went home to my boyfriend that same evening and (bless his patient heart) gave him the most exploratory, luxurious blowjob of our entire relationship.
I began to understand that this was not something to necessarily be perfect or ‘terrible’ at, but an exploration… a practice… a form of communication, one spoken through touch. Gradually, my body really came to love the experience, releasing emotional knots I had carried for years.
Blowjobs, I learned, are not just about pleasure, but about trust, surrender, and a moment to moment mirror of how I’m feeling on any given day. It taught me to be present in my body, to embrace surrender as strength, and to allow myself the healing that comes from deeply caring for and being present with another.
Today, I look forward to blowjobs (and I know my partner does too). They have become a sanctuary of sorts, a place where I can lay down my burdens of being tight and always-on, and emerge rejuvenated, both physically and emotionally. This journey from discomfort to acceptance, and finally to love, has been transformative. It’s a testament to the power of sex and the sometimes unexpected paths towards personal growth.” – Amanda, 53
4. From religious sexual shame, to empowered passion.
“The reason I used to hate giving blowjobs was a simple one – childhood, religion-influenced sexual shame.
I grew up feeling bombarded with the idea that sex was sinful, dirty, and wrong. Even when I distanced from my religion in my late-teens, the damage was already done.
Through my 20’s and 30’s I began to unwind the messages I had received, but the residue remained.
It wasn’t until I discovered Jordan’s work that I truly began to feel the beauty and innocence of sexual connection.
Today, I am experiencing the most healthy, nourishing sexual relationship of my life. Not only that, but giving my husband blowjobs is one of the best parts of our sex life. I love doing it, and I can definitely tell that he loves receiving it!” – Michelle, 38
5. “New realms of depth and connection.”
“An early partner (we were in our teens) told me that I was bad at it, and as someone who hated feeling like she was bad at anything, I kind of just gave up on blowjobs. This program has really opened up new realms of depth and connection for my partner and me. I have brought my whole heart back into the act in a whole new way and we are both feeling the difference. It is truly night and day. Thank you both so much.” – Amy
6. Recovered radical feminist turns a corner
“I’m almost embarrassed to write this, but I feel like I have to share my story.
In my teens and 20’s I ran in some radical feminist circles, and there were some pretty consistent messages I received from my peers. Things like ‘You shouldn’t smile at men when you see them in the street, under any circumstances’ because that’s unpaid emotional labour. And you shouldn’t go down on men (or sexually ‘submit’ in any way to them) because that’s how to do your part in rebalancing the orgasm gap.
In hindsight, the whole thing was just a cover-up for wanting to keep my wounded heart closed off to half the worlds population.
My relationship with my father was quite strained from some childhood experiences, and this was my way of punishing men. Just keep my heart closed off to them and pretend like it wasn’t hurting and limiting my life on a daily basis. The way that I see it today, radical feminism was just the other-gendered equivalent of the ‘Red pill’ / MGTOW movement. In other words, people who had pain in their heart who wanted to lock themselves up in their heads so as to avoid feeling their hurt and sadness.
Anyways, with time I broke free from these ideologies and kind of detoxed them out of my system, but the remnants remained. There were still some places where this former iteration of myself still reared itself occasionally, and blowjobs were definitely one of those places. The act just felt so on-the-nose. Like, here I am literally on my knees focusing my energy and attention on your male genitals. What a ripe opportunity for alchemy!
When I first heard about your Queen of Blowjobs program, I felt both pulled towards it and also terrified of it lol.
I wanted so badly to check it out but a part of me felt like I was betraying (strong word, I know, but it’s true) my old social group of radical feminists. Aaaaand once I realized I was having that thought I was like, ‘Oh, well then I definitely have to get it. To reclaim this part of myself and not have it have such a strong hold over me.’ And I’m so glad that I did!
I literally had to pause the videos multiple times as I found myself crying tears of relief… my heart softening even more than I thought it could.
I feel like an invisible weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I feel even more free, flowing, and expansive in my relationship to oral sex (and sex with men in general).
Thank you both times a million!” – Jennifer
7. “He was like, ‘How did you do that?'”
“Giving blowjobs used to feel like an annoying thing I had to do to please men. I had experiences where men shoved my head down. When I was younger it felt awkward and submissive, in a degrading way, even though I wanted to do it to seem cool. As I got older it felt more and more irritating: why should I have to do this thing that seemed like it was all about men’s pleasure, when I felt like men never cared about my pleasure very much in bed?
It wasn’t something I wanted to do. I didn’t initiate it on my own. Honestly I felt like I was owed a lifetime of pleasure from men before I would be willing to do something that was only for them.
All of this changed when I started learning about sexual energy and reclaiming my pleasure as my own. Learning that my pleasure was for me and not for men, that my body belonged to me.
The first realization I had around this was when I was able to shift my orgasm from this fraction-of-a-second climax into a full-body, more like 15-second-long experience. It dawned on me that my partner at the time hadn’t changed at all: I had. I also did a lot of deconditioning around sex and my relationship with men. That meant that my anger toward men (some of it very justified) needed to be felt and expressed and integrated. My beliefs about men changed, and so then did the way that men showed up in my life.
I wish women knew how much pleasure is available to us; to me our ability to experience sexual pleasure mirrors our capacity for experiencing pleasure in our everyday life. Our ability to receive, feel our bodies deeply, to weep and moan and scream and yell. So many women are going through life in a more numbed state, and it isn’t their fault – our society is built to disconnect women from their bodies. When women start to wake up and realize that they can influence their own pleasure, the rest of their life changes, too, and so does the world.
In this experience of my body as my own, my pleasure as my own, and some healing in relationship with and attitude towards men, my experience of blowjobs completely changed. I started to experience a blowjob as pleasurable for ME. I found myself really wanting to give this pleasure to my partner. I was able to orgasm from giving a blowjob because of how connected I was to my body and his body during it. I stopped seeing sex as this competition, where one person gives more than another and the tables are always uneven, and started experiencing it as a reality where every sexual act was equal parts giving and receiving. And of course, I then met a man who felt the same.
All of the ways this impacted me personally were wonderful – and the cherry on top was that I started GIVING the best blowjobs I ever had. The first time I gave my previous partner a blowjob once I had done some of this work, he was stunned and could barely speak. He was like, “What did you do?? How did you do that??” I had given him the longest, most full-body orgasm he had ever experienced. That also gave me so much confidence – not only was it a thing I now enjoyed, but I also had this internal sense of power knowing that I could give a man the best pleasure of his life.” – Demetra, 31
How To Fall In Love With Giving Blowjobs
Can you see yourself in any of these women? Do parts of their stories resonate with you in your past experiences?
Regardless of whether you’ve ever felt like you hated giving blowjobs, there’s progress all of us can make when it comes to truly loving and feeling nourished by our sex lives.
If you haven’t checked it out yet, I’d highly recommend digging into Queen of Blowjobs, a powerful and affordably priced video course that my wife and I made together.
The feedback that we’ve gotten from it has been so amazing, and women from all around the world are connecting with themselves (and their partners) from a whole new place.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love checking out:
– Queen of Blowjobs (video course for women, all about how to fall in love with giving blowjobs, and give him the most amazing oral sex of his entire life, guaranteed)
– Inside The Male Mind (video course for women, all about how to have richer, deeper, and more nourishing relationships with men)
