I sent out an email to one of my sex-specific email lists the other week and asked 10,000+ people a simple question…
“What is your biggest sexual secret?”
I then went on to say that they could answer that however they want. It could be a secret about something sexual they had experienced… or a sexual thought of fantasy they had… or anything in between.
Our secrets keep us sick (because shame is a silent killer). And one intention that my writing always has, as a through-line, is that I want people to feel even just a little bit better about themselves because of what they read on my site.
You’ll laugh… you might cry… and, by the end of it, I hope that reading this article reminds you that you are normal, and your sexuality is beautiful, no matter what form it takes.
So, without further ado, here are 44 sexual secrets that people from around the world felt comfortable sharing. I left out all names, ages, and locations (to keep the secrets anonymous), and only made the most minor of adjustments to fix typos when applicable.
The Sexual Secrets Of 44 Anonymous People
“For at least six months after we broke up, I masturbated to nude pics of my ex that she sent to me while we were dating. We joked about it when talking about the pics after we split, but I still carried some guilt for it.”
“I take boner pills (Cialis, Viagra, etc.) before promising dates when I first start dating someone new. I hate the feeling of not being able to perform, and so I do this to eradicate the risk of not being able to show up for my dates sexually.”
“I hate my breasts. I have a lot of anxiety around letting my partner touch me there, because I feel like he wishes they were different. I know in reality he doesn’t care, I do, but it still hurts me to think about too much.”
“I didn’t lose my virginity until my late 30’s, and I still carry shame around that because I feel like I was an awkward late bloomer and some sort of social pariah.”
“I was a sex worker in my twenties. Only a handful of people in the world know this about me.”
“I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Amsterdam, while on vacation with my family (I snuck away from them).”
“I love sucking cock so much. Like, so much that I wish I could write a play about it or perform slam poetry about it. But I feel like I need to hold back my love of cock because I fear the judgment of my (uber-feminist) friends.”
“Made out with my cousin at a family gathering in my teens. Don’t regret it. He hasn’t brought it up since so I’m not even sure if he remembers.”
“Last year when I was getting over a supremely painful breakup, I masturbated with a vibrator so much one week that my vagina went semi-numb for several weeks.”
“I find my wife very attractive, but I’m so afraid of not being able to get it up that I almost never initiate sex anymore. I hate the idea of disappointing her.”
“I suffered horrific sexual abuse as a child, for many years. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies.”
“Women who have cellulite on their legs really turn me on. A lot. The runway model type is not for me.”
“Used to masturbate face-down on my bed when I was a child and now I find it difficult to reach orgasm when I’m on my back – like when my girlfriend is on top. It’s hard not to feel defective when I’ve been trying to fix it for many months.”
“I’ve spent so much time in my life chasing the sexual approval of men. If you added up all the time I invested in chasing guys who didn’t give a shit about me, it would likely add up to a decade. If not more.”
“There was a time in my life where I was addicted to going to massage parlous, aka rub & tugs. I had a lot of great experiences in them, but also regularly felt a good amount of shame for being a patron of them.”
“I have vivid memories of playing sexually motivated games with my childhood friends. All around the ages of 6-10 years old. We’d play cops and robbers, or house, or doctor… and we would always find a way to make it sexual. Heavy petting, kissing, tie up my wrists, show me yours I’ll show you mine, etc.”
“I have been anorgasmic for a few years and I’m 99% sure it’s because there’s something in my sexual past that I haven’t allowed myself to feel yet.”
“I’ve slept with over 300 sex workers in my lifetime.”
“I’ve got a lot of sexual secrets so I’m not sure which would be the most secretive among them. Here’s one. I want to be dominated by my wife but I’m afraid that she’ll judge me if I even ask for a sliver of what I want. We’ve been married for over a decade and I’m so afraid that if I mention it she’ll find me repulsive.”
“I adore having my pussy licked a couple of days after a fresh wax. I could honestly just sit back and have my hubby lap me up all day. #Heaven.”
“I really like anal play. Sometimes I’ll ask my girlfriend to go down on me and play with my balls, and I’ll occasionally angle my hips up when her fingers are near the bottom of my scrotum so she gets the hint to go lower with her touch. She’s a real champ.”
“Went to a sex club with my wife in Paris. ‘Twas super hot. Don’t think my mormon friends would have approved. But whatever, fuck them.”
“When my boyfriend is penetrating me, I love to picture a super close up of his penis going in and out of me. As in, if my inner mind is the camera, it’s zoomed right in there. I find this insanely hot. It’s not that I’m particularly in love with his cock any more than other past partners… it’s just the idea of that visual. Can’t get enough of it.”
“I lost my virginity at the age of ten. My husband, who I met in high school, thought that I gave my virginity to him. So I had to pretend that it was my first time when it wasn’t.”
“I can only have sex with people who I feel I am better than. Or at least significantly more conventionally attractive than.”
“The first time I masturbated, I used sunscreen as a lubricant.”
“Even though I identify as heterosexual, and I always have identified as such, my earliest sexual experimentation was with my closest male friend. We were young – maybe 6 or 7 – and it went on for months.”
“I wish my husband initiated sex with me more often.”
“I actually think I’m quite boring. My biggest sexual secret is that I wish I had more secrets.”
“I have never lasted for longer than five minutes during penetrative sex in my entire life, and it weighs on me. I try to compensate by being extra successful in my career, but it isn’t a replacement. I feel less confident because I feel like I’m lacking in my sexual performance. My girlfriend and I fight all the time about it. I know she deserves better that what I’m giving her.”
“I found your website when I googled the words ‘what does sex feel like’ because I am a virgin.”
“Period blood really turns me on. The sight of it, the idea of it. I love having sex with my wife when she’s on her period. And she always seems to be hornier while she’s on it, so it works out great for both of us. For some reason, this doesn’t feel like a thing that I could commiserate on with my buddies out on a guys weekend.”
“When I was in elementary school I used to masturbate by stuffing this soft blanket I had into my bed’s pillow and then sticking my dick in it. I was maybe 10 or 11 at the time and it felt amazing. It was great simulated penetration for a couple of years until I discovered oral sex with my first girlfriend. Game changer.”
“I went to a brothel once in my hometown and my good buddy’s girlfriend was working there as a sex worker. I had already paid, and so I still had sex with her. Never told him she worked there, never told him I fucked her.”
“One time I cried after I had an orgasm during sex, because it released some trapped emotion in me, and my partner reacted so poorly that I’m now afraid to ever have that happen again.”
“I’m afraid that the sex robots will become so amazing and so advanced in the next 5-10 years that most of the world will stop fucking each other and our planets social infrastructure will collapse in a really rapid and unsustainable way. Japan already has a drastic negative birth rate due to people seeing relationships as a nuisance, so it could happen.”
“Whenever I search up porn to masturbate to, I almost exclusively watch face-fucking videos where girls have mascara streaming down their face. There’s just something about how full on the submission is. They’re literally gasping for air in order to pleasure their partner.”
“There was a time in my life where I thought that having penetrative sex in a hot tub was adequate birth control.”
“I don’t feel confident in my sexual abilities.”
“I’m envious of my close guy friends who I believe have all had more sexual experience than me.”
“I feel a bit broken because I haven’t been able to have a squirting orgasm yet, even though I can get sooo close sometimes. It feels like a mental block more than a physical one”
“I still hold anger and resentment towards my mother for not preparing me in understanding how periods work before I got mine (in a horrific fashion no less).”
“My partner’s penis is so thick that I actually encourage him to have a few drinks on nights when I want to make love to him because it makes him get a bit less hard and it’s easier to manage.”
“I find having sex stressful.”
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Everyone has some sexual secrets that they hold on to. Hopefully this article has helped you to feel more self-accepting and more at home in your relationship to your sexuality.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed reading this article, you will also love checking out:
– Kill Stress, Boost Testosterone, And Have Better Sex
– 50 Powerful Sex Tips For Men
– What Amazing Sex Feels Like For Women (In Their Words)
– What Amazing Sex Feels Like For Men (In Their Words)
