Many people think that their relationship will improve when the big things in life change. When they move to a new house, make more money, or finally take that long-overdue vacation. Then, they tell themselves, they’ll have the time and space to put more focus on the relationship.
But really, it’s the little daily shifts that make the biggest difference and compound into a thriving relationship.
That’s why I put this list of relationship tools together for you. These aren’t abstract theories or “someday when life is easier” concepts. These are five practical, powerful tools you can start using today.
Each one will bring more love, more ease, and more joy into your relationship, if you actually practice them.
So whether you’ve been together for four months or for forty years, try these out. Commit to them. Because the fastest way to improve your relationship isn’t waiting for something outside of you to change… it’s creating change with the simple, consistent actions you choose every day.
Let’s dive in.
5 Relationship Tools to Instantly Improve Your Love
1. The Daily “One-Thing” Check-In
One of the simplest and most powerful tools for improving your relationship is also one of the most overlooked: just ask.
Every day, take a moment to ask your partner, “What’s one thing I can do today to make you feel more loved or supported?”
The magic of this practice is in its simplicity. Instead of trying to read their mind, you’re inviting them to tell you exactly what matters most to them in that moment. It could be as small as making their coffee, sending a sweet text during the day, or doing a house chore they’ve been dreading.
But here’s the catch… you have to follow through. Asking what they want without acting on it erodes trust. The real power of this tool is that it creates a daily feedback loop of love. They tell you what matters, and you show them that their needs and feelings matter enough to act on.
When practiced consistently, the “One-Thing” Check-In builds intimacy, safety, and a steady sense of support. And often (as you’ve likely experienced before), it’s the smallest acts that carry the greatest weight.
2. Post-Meal Appreciation
After each meal, share one thing you genuinely appreciate or want to positively acknowledge about your partner.
It doesn’t need to be immediately after your last bite, while you’re in the middle of sucking the spinach off your teeth. It’s more about using the rhythm of meals (which we tend to share with our partner 1-3 times per day) as a cue, a reminder to pause and acknowledge them. And it certainly doesn’t always have to be about the food itself (though thanking them for cooking or contributing is always lovely). It should be about anything you’ve noticed lately.
How consistent they’ve been with their recent gym habit. How much effort they’ve putting into the home or their work lately. The way they’ve been showing up in your relationship.
Three times a day, you’re creating small but powerful moments of gratitude. And gratitude compounds. The more you speak it, the more it grows.
Over time, this practice builds a foundation where both of you feel seen, valued, and cherished. And not just for what you do, but for who you are.
Bonus tip: water the seeds that need it. If you know that your partner needs some confidence boosting in one specific area of their lives in this current season (their looks, their work, how they’re showing up in the relationship, etc.) give that theme a higher percentage of your appreciation for a little while. Because what good is the gift of having front row seats to this amazing person’s ever-unfolding process of becoming if we’re not giving them targeted love where they need it most.
3. Daily Deposits
As we’ve established, strong relationships are built through small, consistent acts of love. Think of each act as a “deposit” in your partner’s emotional bank account.
A Daily Deposit is one unprompted, thoughtful action you take for your partner.
I know I said above that you shouldn’t engage in mind reading, and that is still true. This is less about mind reading and more about paying high quality attention. The more aware you are of your partner and their needs, the better equipped you’ll be to surprise them with thoughtful gestures.
Your daily deposits (depending on your strengths and their needs) could be things like making their morning coffee, picking up their favorite snack on the way home, leaving a love note where they’ll find it, fixing that loose doorknob that’s been bothering them, vacuuming the living room carpet, or sending an encouraging text before their big meeting.
Again, the key isn’t grand gestures. This isn’t a daily Michelin star, 5-course dinner. It’s more about high-quality attention. It’s noticing what would lift their spirits, lighten their load, or simply make them smile, and then doing it.
So basically…
Step one: pay attention. Be tuned in enough to know what matters to them right now.
Step two: act on it daily.
Over time, these small deposits create a powerful reserve of goodwill, love, and trust. Your partner feels seen and cared for… not just in words, but with tangible evidence that they can always point to.
4. Designate Technology-Free Zones
One of the fastest ways to create more connection in your relationship is also one of the simplest. Put your screens away.
Phones, laptops, TVs, and tablets are designed to grab your attention. Every ping, buzz, breaking news!, and notification pulls you out of presence and into distraction. By creating technology-free zones, you carve out space for your relationship to breathe.
A few high-impact examples I often recommend to my clients:
– Your bedroom (make it a sanctuary for rest, intimacy, and connection)
– The dinner table (turn meals into moments of real conversation)
– Evening wind-down time (mutually agree on a “no screens” time window before bed)
It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. You can define zones by place (no phones in the bedroom) or by time (no screens anywhere after 8pm/within 1-2 hours of bedtime). What matters is that you both agree on it and then that you’re consistent.
When you both agree to these boundaries and stick to them, you’re not just removing distractions… you’re saying “our connection matters more than what TV/the news has to say.”
5. Love Lists
If you’ve been following my work for a while, you’ve likely heard me talk about Love Lists before. (And if you’re new, welcome!) This is one of the most powerful (and practical) relationship tools I’ve ever created for deepening intimacy.
Here’s how it works…
You and your partner each grab a sheet of paper (or open a fresh Note on your smartphone). Complete this sentence stem 25–50 times: “I feel the most loved when…” (Want to go for 100+? Even better. Go for it! The more the merrier)
Then, exchange lists. Congrats! Now you both hold the “cheat codes” for how to love each other better.
From here, the magic is in the follow-through. Begin weaving items from your partner’s list into your daily life. Even small actions (like sending a quick “thinking of you” text or making their favorite tea) become powerful when they’re things that you know matter most to them.
As a bonus: you can highlight, underline, or star your top 5–10 items so your partner knows the 80/20 power moves that have the biggest impact.
Yes, I understand that this exercise can feel a little vulnerable. You’re basically showing your partner the exact blueprint of your heart. And that can feel tough for people who either have a hard time receiving/being loved, or for people who have had others knowingly ignore their needs, and/or shame them for having them in the first place.
But ultimately, this is the point of being in a relationship. Giving and receiving love.
So if you feel confident that you’re in a loving, kind, reciprocal, non-shaming relationship with someone who actually wants the best for you… then it’s important to remember that they want to love you well. They just need to know how. And the clearer you can be about naming your needs, the better position they’ll be in to meet those needs for you ongoingly. Hooray! Win-win!
Time To Put These Relationship Tools Into Practice
Remember, improving your relationship doesn’t have to mean reinventing the wheel or waiting for some “perfect moment.” It’s about consistent, intentional actions. Simple shifts that compound into increased love and connection over time.
To recap, here are the five tools.
– The Daily “One-Thing” Check-In (ask what would make them feel loved, then follow through)
– Post-Meal Appreciation (use daily meals as reminders to verbally share gratitude)
– Daily Deposits (make one thoughtful, unprompted gesture of love each day)
– Technology-Free Zones
(create location or time based spaces where connection comes before screens)
– Love Lists (swap written-down “cheat sheets” on what makes each of you feel most loved)
Honestly, none of these take much time. But together, they have the power to transform how you and your partner experience each other.
So here’s your challenge… pick one relationship tool and start today. Then watch how your relationship begins to shift.
And if you’d like more personalized guidance… whether you’re looking to reignite the spark in your marriage or attract and build the kind of love you’ve always wanted, I’d be honored to support you through 1-on-1 coaching. You can learn more and apply to work with me on this page.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll also love checking out:
– The Spoiling Session: The Best Sexual Exercise For Couples
– 7 Relationship Tools For Married Entrepreneurs
– 5 Tips For Your Weekly Relationship Ritual
