Ever felt like there’s more to your sex life than what you’ve been told? If so, you’re not alone.
For many women, beliefs about sex have been shaped more by external pressures and societal expectations than by personal truth.
Many of us carry ideas about sex that don’t serve us, beliefs that limit us rather than liberate.
By shining a light on these often subconscious, underlying beliefs, and replacing them with more supportive ones, you can choose a different path. A path with a more authentically empowered relationship to this vital area of your life.
Most People’s Beliefs About Sex Limit Them In Significant Ways
Most people’s default beliefs about sex (that they inherited from parents, peers, media, religion, etc.) put a big damper on their would-be sexual capacity.
Like driving a car with the handbrake cranked on, they’re able to move forward, but their experience will always be slowed until the handbrake is released.
The majority of women are raised with conditioned beliefs about sex like, ‘Sex is dirty’, ‘Sex is wrong’, ‘Sex is shameful, a sin, not for good girls.’
With messages like these being received from all angles, it’s no wonder women so frequently struggle with feeling the full breadth of their sexual desire.
The first step is to recognize that it isn’t your fault that beliefs like these are running in the background of your mind. You’ve come by them honestly (via the external influences we’re all surrounded by).
But after awareness, we get to feel into whether or not these beliefs actually serve us in any way.
They may have served us for a time, but their time of being useful is now fading in the rearview mirror.
The following five beliefs about sex will be much more supportive than the default ones we all live with.
Special thanks to my wife Demetra who heavily influenced many of the beliefs in the following list (you’ll hear more about her at the end of this article).
5 Empowering Sexual Beliefs For Women
Try the following beliefs on for size, and see how they feel.
Like trying on a new pair of shoes, it might take a bit to get used to. But in time, you’ll find them to be more comfortable (and beautiful) than the previous ones.
Without further ado, here are five empowering beliefs about sex that will take you further in your quest for sexual fulfillment.
1. Sex is innocent.
Like any other fundamental part of being human, sex is a natural part of life.
Just as we don’t make ourselves wrong for needing food, sleep, or social connection, there is no reason to see sex as anything less than an innocent, inherent part of being human.
Sex is one of the most profound ways we can connect with others. Intimacy, vulnerability, and connection are pure, heartfelt human experiences, and sex is a natural, innocent, beautiful expression of those desires.
2. Sex is sacred.
Yes, sex is sacred.
This is a less-than-popular belief at present. Why? Because the default modern narrative around sexuality is one of sexual liberation in the form of being as sexual as possible with as many partners as possible.
Speaking from personal experience (and professional experience, having worked with thousands of clients through the years), you can go far deeper and experience a far greater sense of satisfaction by exploring deeply with one person, in a monogamous relationship, compared to racking up sexual experiences with an increasingly broad pool of sexual partners.
While there will always be room in a dynamic, robust sex life for just-getting-our-needs-met quickies within limited timeframes (I’m looking at you, parents with young children), sex is something we can bring a lot of love into.
When approached with intention and care, sex transforms from a mere physical act to something with profound emotional and spiritual depth.
You can do things like set the environment to be as pleasing to your senses as possible. You can consciously slow down your sexual engaging to feel more deeply into yourself and your partner. And even looking outside of the bedroom, you and your partner can make a pact that you will be strict about not leaking any form of sexual energy outside of the relationship (via any form of ‘harmless’ flirting with strangers, following social media accounts, remaining in contact with certain ex partners, etc.)
And in the bedroom, the lights can be left on. The candles can be lit. You can buy super soft sheets that make you feel that much more connected to your body. Your options are truly endless.
By bringing a level of presence and intentionality to your sex life, you and your partner can elevate your experience into something truly magical.
3. Sex is about feeling, connecting, and loving.
The default relationship women often have with sex is one of being about doing, performing, obligation. Which, really, are the opposite of sex is about.
A more empowering belief about sex is that sex is about feeling, connecting, and loving.
Yes, it can truly be that simple.
By simply showing up to the bedroom and having the sole intention of ‘being loving,’ you and your partner can experience depths you may not have touched before.
I once had a client speak to me about how she had recently cried at the end of sex. In her words, she didn’t feel sad in any way, she had just had a stressful week at work and it felt like this energy wanted to move through her. But the fact remained, she felt embarrassed about her emotional release. She wished that it hadn’t happened.
I reminded her that good sex is about feeling, connecting, and loving… and that her display of emotional release was entirely normal, healthy, and common occurrence. There was nothing for her to be ashamed of.
When we strive to be a perfect robot (who merely do, perform, and fulfill our duties), our sex life will always feel flat. But when we remember the deeper truth, that sex is about feeling, connecting, and loving, a whole new world of physical and emotional freedom opens up to us.
We are soft-bodied mammals. We are meant to connect. To be fully human. And to express that full humanness with the person we choose to share this beautiful gift with.
4. Pleasure is my birthright.
How do we know that pleasure is our birthright? Because our bodies have the capacity for pleasure. It is quite literally hard-wired into our design.
How do we know we’re meant to cry? We have tear ducts. And how do we know that sex is an essential need that our bodies are allowed to explore to our desired depths? Because we have the pleasurable nerve endings to prove it.
Unfortunately, the standard adult life is devoid of the things that bring a true sense of sensual aliveness to them.
Our senses are rarely stimulated. We eat food as fuel, with food that lacks love, care, or intention.
We go to work, we fulfill our duties… but rarely make time for rest, play, or joy.
Many women live pleasure-starved lives because they either don’t know how to increase their capacity for pleasure, or because they’re just going along with what the other normal, responsible adults around them are doing. Either way, it is a travesty.
Your life can be pleasure-filled beyond your wildest dreams. You can experience life as a vibrant, joyous adventure. Your senses can vibrate with glee on a daily basis.
The first step in reclaiming this aspect of pleasure as your new default is simply becoming aware of the present-day lack of pleasure, and acknowledging that you would like more for yourself. That you deserve more than the current lived reality.
5. I am a sexual person.
Another common belief that limits women’s experience of their sexuality is the erroneous notion that they’re just ‘not that sexual of a person.’
I have a deep well of compassion for this belief because I understand how women come by it, in the modern world.
In a society that stomps on our healthy, nourishing, sacred sexual expression and flattens it into a pancake, of course it would make sense to think, ‘Oh, I guess this isn’t just my thing.’
I’ve even had clients who came to me wondering if they were asexual (when in fact, they simply acclimated to their minimized sexual identity because of past sexual experiences that had them play small and hide in their sexual range).
When you take in the identity-level belief that you are, indeed, a sexual person, many things shift.
You see yourself as inherently more deserving of pleasure and sexual fulfillment. You feel a deeper sense of permission to explore the outer limits of your orgasmic capacity. And you feel more curious about your sexual needs, and start to give them to yourself (and ask for your needs to be met, via your partner) with more free-flowing ease and comfort.
If you’ve experienced years (or even decades) of sex that has felt obligatory, one-sided, and dull, it would be understandable to question whether or not you really enjoyed sex all that much. But as the old Turkish proverb goes, “No matter how far down the wrong road you have gone, turn back.”
By taking on the identity of being a sexual person, and allowing your actions to follow suit, you’ll start advocating for yourself and getting your own sexual needs met like never before. Which, in turns, opens up a world of possibilities and new things to explore.
Where To Go From Here In Your Sexual Awakening
If you would like some high quality support in your newfound sexual awakening… in your journey of experiencing a sex life beyond your wildest imagination, I have something for you.
My wife Demetra and I just released a powerful, brand-new program called Eternal Glow. It’s a 12-week journey (that you go through at your own pace, from the comfort of your own home) that revolutionizes your relationship to your body, your sex life, and your life as a whole.
Women that are currently going through it are saying that they feel more radiant, joyful, and alive on a daily basis. Many of them have been getting “more compliments from strangers (and friends)” than they have in years.
It’s an incredibly potent and comprehensive program, and its success is guaranteed in your life.
If you’re curious to learn more, you can click here to find out all about it.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article on empowering beliefs about sex, you’ll also love checking out:
– Eternal Glow (video course for women who want to experience the best sex of their lives)
– 5 Questions To Ask Your Partner For Better Sex
– How To Figure Out What Your Ideal Sex Life Looks Like
– 21 Things To Do When Your Sex Drives Are Different
