Oct 8, 2017

This Is Your Life Purpose

To feel alive…

This is your life purpose.

Spend time with people who make you feel alive.

Eat food that makes you feel alive.

Do work that makes you feel alive.

Spend your money on experiences that make you feel more alive.

Do things that make you feel alive.

If the answer is so obvious, why don’t more people feel more alive? Why do we live in a society filled with ample living-sleepwalkers? What keeps us from feeling alive?

Several things…

1. Repressed emotions.

We have repressed emotions clouding up our bodies and minds.

Stored sadness. Forgotten anger. Relationships that we never fully grieved. Old hurt that we are in denial of.

You move this energy by feeling it. As the old cliche goes… you have to feel it to heal it.

Feel your sadness. Move your anger. Feel all of your feelings fully, and you will feel more embodied… more complete… more alive.

2. You are out of alignment in your career or relationships.

If you do work that that you can barely stand… or you spend time with people that you don’t love, like, or respect, then, sooner than later, you will start to feel dead inside.

Aliveness comes from alignment.

That’s an important one… so I’ll say that again… aliveness comes from alignment.

Honour the things that your heart tells you to do. Spend time with your favourite people. Play more often. Follow your fucking bliss.

Or, as Howard Thurman once so wisely said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

You are going to die one day. I promise. So stop wasting your time on shit that doesn’t matter to you.

3. Secrets that you have made special in your mind.

We’re only as sick as our secrets.

If you have an abundance of secrets trapped away in your mind… guess what, they’re slowly killing you. They’re eroding your joy, your self-esteem, and your sense of connection with other people.

The first step? Acknowledge that you are holding on to secrets.

The second step? Confess them.

Tell your closest, trusted friends the things that you hold on to about yourself.

Tell them that you have hatred towards men/women. Tell them that you shoplifted when you were younger. Tell them that you used to be addicted to something. Tell them that you were raped. Tell them that you wished your other parent had died instead. Whatever is real for you… simply confess it.

Deploy the necessary courage and just do it. It will be challenging, but it will be worth it.

Once you reveal your dark, inner thoughts your ego won’t be as able to convince you that you’re especially bad/unloveable/broken/flawed/etc.

Expose your mind. Enjoy deeper connection with others. Come alive.

4. Old guilt and resentments that you hold on to.

Guilt is how your mind makes you wrong. Old resentments are how you give your power away to others in your mind.

Let go of beating yourself up for past self-perceived wrongdoings. You did the best that you could with who you were at the time. Like everyone is doing, always.

Let go of old resentments that you have towards others. It isn’t serving you anymore. Forgive them as a gift to yourself. It’s time.

5. You don’t allow enough room for rest and play.

Your body is so wise.

You have built-in mechanisms of recovery just waiting to be switched on when you allow yourself the time and spaciousness to rest.

One of the best ways to rest in an active way? Play.

More than any other species, humans are creatures of play.

Play is also essential to our well-being. As Dr. Stuart Brown once said, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.” In other words, we NEED play in order to thrive.

So bust out a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you did for fun from the ages of 6-16… and then go do more of those things on a weekly basis.

It isn’t too late to reclaim some space in your life for your inner child. He/she has been looking to come out for a while now anyways. It won’t require much coaxing.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever

How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger

Play Away Your Anxiety with Charlie Hoehn (video)

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
Unrealized Potential Is The Default, Not The Exception
On January 18th, 1779, a young boy named Peter was born in London, England. Peter grew up in a small home with his mother, father, and younger sister. When Peter was just four years old, his father died, and it left a terrible mark on his heart. He felt powerless and heartbroken to have lost someone...
Continue Reading
You Are Going To Die (So Here's How To Actually Live)
Dec 22, 2017
Jordan Gray
You Are Going To Die (So Here’s How To Actually Live)
I had my first heart attack at the age of 25. I was walking down the street, my arms went numb, my head started spinning, and my heart was pounding faster than it ever had in my life. I walked up to an off-duty ambulance paramedic and said, “I think I’m having a heart attack. I’m definitely...
Continue Reading
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Aug 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
How To Get The Slight Edge In Your Relationship
Have you ever heard of the book 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson? It's one of my all time favourite self-help books that I re-read every year or so. It isn’t a problem if you haven’t read it… since I’m about to summarize the whole book into one sentence. The basic premise of The Slight Edge is that… Small,...
Continue Reading
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
Aug 7, 2016
Jordan Gray
The Intentional Life Ep.6: Mastering Self-Love with Ruby Fremon
On today's episode, Ruby Fremon and I discuss all things self-love. We talk about her difficult past, the turning point that snapped her out of her life-funk, what her pathway to self-love looked like, and her unique philosophy on what it is that actually makes us more self-loving. Ruby and I's...
Continue Reading
3 Ways To Reparent Your Inner Child
May 12, 2020
Jordan Gray
3 Ways To Reparent Your Inner Child
It is an unequivocal fact that your childhood shaped who you are today. And no matter how self-aware, loving, and supportive your parents were, it’s also a fact that they passed on their unprocessed emotions and unexamined habits on to you. So, as you’ve grown from being a child to being an adult,...
Continue Reading
In Praise Of Emotionally Strong Women
Mar 9, 2015
Jordan Gray
In Praise Of Emotionally Strong Women
Here’s to the emotionally strong women... The women that have done their work. The women that know the value of self-love and self-care. The women that hold themselves, and others, to higher standards. The women that have felt grief, and received the grief of their loved ones. The women who turn...
Continue Reading