Oct 8, 2017

This Is Your Life Purpose

To feel alive…

This is your life purpose.

Spend time with people who make you feel alive.

Eat food that makes you feel alive.

Do work that makes you feel alive.

Spend your money on experiences that make you feel more alive.

Do things that make you feel alive.

If the answer is so obvious, why don’t more people feel more alive? Why do we live in a society filled with ample living-sleepwalkers? What keeps us from feeling alive?

Several things…

1. Repressed emotions.

We have repressed emotions clouding up our bodies and minds.

Stored sadness. Forgotten anger. Relationships that we never fully grieved. Old hurt that we are in denial of.

You move this energy by feeling it. As the old cliche goes… you have to feel it to heal it.

Feel your sadness. Move your anger. Feel all of your feelings fully, and you will feel more embodied… more complete… more alive.

2. You are out of alignment in your career or relationships.

If you do work that that you can barely stand… or you spend time with people that you don’t love, like, or respect, then, sooner than later, you will start to feel dead inside.

Aliveness comes from alignment.

That’s an important one… so I’ll say that again… aliveness comes from alignment.

Honour the things that your heart tells you to do. Spend time with your favourite people. Play more often. Follow your fucking bliss.

Or, as Howard Thurman once so wisely said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

You are going to die one day. I promise. So stop wasting your time on shit that doesn’t matter to you.

3. Secrets that you have made special in your mind.

We’re only as sick as our secrets.

If you have an abundance of secrets trapped away in your mind… guess what, they’re slowly killing you. They’re eroding your joy, your self-esteem, and your sense of connection with other people.

The first step? Acknowledge that you are holding on to secrets.

The second step? Confess them.

Tell your closest, trusted friends the things that you hold on to about yourself.

Tell them that you have hatred towards men/women. Tell them that you shoplifted when you were younger. Tell them that you used to be addicted to something. Tell them that you were raped. Tell them that you wished your other parent had died instead. Whatever is real for you… simply confess it.

Deploy the necessary courage and just do it. It will be challenging, but it will be worth it.

Once you reveal your dark, inner thoughts your ego won’t be as able to convince you that you’re especially bad/unloveable/broken/flawed/etc.

Expose your mind. Enjoy deeper connection with others. Come alive.

4. Old guilt and resentments that you hold on to.

Guilt is how your mind makes you wrong. Old resentments are how you give your power away to others in your mind.

Let go of beating yourself up for past self-perceived wrongdoings. You did the best that you could with who you were at the time. Like everyone is doing, always.

Let go of old resentments that you have towards others. It isn’t serving you anymore. Forgive them as a gift to yourself. It’s time.

5. You don’t allow enough room for rest and play.

Your body is so wise.

You have built-in mechanisms of recovery just waiting to be switched on when you allow yourself the time and spaciousness to rest.

One of the best ways to rest in an active way? Play.

More than any other species, humans are creatures of play.

Play is also essential to our well-being. As Dr. Stuart Brown once said, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.” In other words, we NEED play in order to thrive.

So bust out a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you did for fun from the ages of 6-16… and then go do more of those things on a weekly basis.

It isn’t too late to reclaim some space in your life for your inner child. He/she has been looking to come out for a while now anyways. It won’t require much coaxing.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever

How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger

Play Away Your Anxiety with Charlie Hoehn (video)

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
9 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Using Inversion Thinking
Feb 28, 2024
Jordan Gray
9 Ways To Improve Your Marriage Using Inversion Thinking
I’ve written before about cognitive biases, and today, I’m going to speak to a different one and help you use it to improve your marriage (or any romantic relationship you’re in). Us humans have what is commonly referred to as a 'negativity bias.' Which is a fancy way of saying that we’re better at...
Continue Reading
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
Mar 31, 2016
Jordan Gray
What Love Letter Will You Write To The World?
The fact that you exist is nothing short of a miracle. Your life is a gift. And how you live your life is your thank you letter to the universe. You can take your life for granted and live your life from a mindset of entitlement... or you can live from a place of gratitude paired with the intention...
Continue Reading
Why Self-Help Doesn't Work
May 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Why Self-Help Doesn’t Work
Self help can suck. Helping yourself is noble and can be effective to a point... but that's one of its drawbacks: it's limited. No matter how many books you read on self-development (motivation, attraction, and so on), you can only grow so much by teaching yourself because 1) you don't know where...
Continue Reading
How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life
Dec 21, 2018
Jordan Gray
How A Small Act Of Love Saved A Life
Kelly woke up just as angry as she had been when she fell asleep. She rolled over and, letting out a sigh of relief, felt glad that her husband had already gotten up. Honestly, she didn’t want to see his face right now. Putting on her favourite pink slippers, she made her way downstairs...
Continue Reading
7 Supplements That I Take Every Day
Aug 5, 2017
Jordan Gray
7 Supplements That I Take Every Day
Standing back and looking at the shelves of nutritional supplement sections can make you feel overwhelmed and stressed out pretty darn quickly. There are hundreds of different vitamins, nutrients, and compounds to choose from, each with thousands of producers and different label variations. To cut away...
Continue Reading
How This Magical Sound Vibrator Gave Me Stronger Erections
Nov 20, 2017
Jordan Gray
How This Magical Sound Vibrator Gave Me Stronger Erections
Last week, my buddy Steve and I went on a road trip to have a doctor shoot sound waves into our penises in order to supercharge our boners. You know... just some casual male bonding. When the people at GAINSWave reached out to me and asked if I wanted to try out their new penis-boosting technology,...
Continue Reading