Oct 8, 2017

This Is Your Life Purpose

To feel alive…

This is your life purpose.

Spend time with people who make you feel alive.

Eat food that makes you feel alive.

Do work that makes you feel alive.

Spend your money on experiences that make you feel more alive.

Do things that make you feel alive.

If the answer is so obvious, why don’t more people feel more alive? Why do we live in a society filled with ample living-sleepwalkers? What keeps us from feeling alive?

Several things…

1. Repressed emotions.

We have repressed emotions clouding up our bodies and minds.

Stored sadness. Forgotten anger. Relationships that we never fully grieved. Old hurt that we are in denial of.

You move this energy by feeling it. As the old cliche goes… you have to feel it to heal it.

Feel your sadness. Move your anger. Feel all of your feelings fully, and you will feel more embodied… more complete… more alive.

2. You are out of alignment in your career or relationships.

If you do work that that you can barely stand… or you spend time with people that you don’t love, like, or respect, then, sooner than later, you will start to feel dead inside.

Aliveness comes from alignment.

That’s an important one… so I’ll say that again… aliveness comes from alignment.

Honour the things that your heart tells you to do. Spend time with your favourite people. Play more often. Follow your fucking bliss.

Or, as Howard Thurman once so wisely said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

You are going to die one day. I promise. So stop wasting your time on shit that doesn’t matter to you.

3. Secrets that you have made special in your mind.

We’re only as sick as our secrets.

If you have an abundance of secrets trapped away in your mind… guess what, they’re slowly killing you. They’re eroding your joy, your self-esteem, and your sense of connection with other people.

The first step? Acknowledge that you are holding on to secrets.

The second step? Confess them.

Tell your closest, trusted friends the things that you hold on to about yourself.

Tell them that you have hatred towards men/women. Tell them that you shoplifted when you were younger. Tell them that you used to be addicted to something. Tell them that you were raped. Tell them that you wished your other parent had died instead. Whatever is real for you… simply confess it.

Deploy the necessary courage and just do it. It will be challenging, but it will be worth it.

Once you reveal your dark, inner thoughts your ego won’t be as able to convince you that you’re especially bad/unloveable/broken/flawed/etc.

Expose your mind. Enjoy deeper connection with others. Come alive.

4. Old guilt and resentments that you hold on to.

Guilt is how your mind makes you wrong. Old resentments are how you give your power away to others in your mind.

Let go of beating yourself up for past self-perceived wrongdoings. You did the best that you could with who you were at the time. Like everyone is doing, always.

Let go of old resentments that you have towards others. It isn’t serving you anymore. Forgive them as a gift to yourself. It’s time.

5. You don’t allow enough room for rest and play.

Your body is so wise.

You have built-in mechanisms of recovery just waiting to be switched on when you allow yourself the time and spaciousness to rest.

One of the best ways to rest in an active way? Play.

More than any other species, humans are creatures of play.

Play is also essential to our well-being. As Dr. Stuart Brown once said, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression.” In other words, we NEED play in order to thrive.

So bust out a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you did for fun from the ages of 6-16… and then go do more of those things on a weekly basis.

It isn’t too late to reclaim some space in your life for your inner child. He/she has been looking to come out for a while now anyways. It won’t require much coaxing.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Ps. If you enjoyed this post, you will likely also love reading:

How To Fully Release Difficult Emotions That Hold You Back

21 Of The Best Self Care Practices Ever

How To Get Rid Of Your Repressed Anger

Play Away Your Anxiety with Charlie Hoehn (video)

Jordan Gray
About Jordan Gray

Jordan Gray has been a sex and relationship coach for over 15+ years, with his work reaching over 200 million people worldwide. His writing has been featured in Vogue, GQ, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and countless other publications around the world. When he’s not working with 1-on-1 coaching clients or writing a new article, he’s most likely to be found reading, chopping wood, or spending time with his wife on a little island off the west coast of Canada.

Blog

Related

See All
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
Nov 12, 2019
Jordan Gray
10 Ways To Keep The Sexual Spark Alive In A Long Term Relationship
"How do I keep the sexual spark and passion alive in my relationship?" This is one of the most asked questions by couples who've passed the first-year milestone. When they started dating, there was an automatic flurry of sexual sparks. They fucked like bunnies - every night, and every morning....
Continue Reading
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
Sep 21, 2015
Jordan Gray
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
I was on a weekend retreat in Colorado with thirty other people. Each of the people that were there was selected by the primary criteria of them all being young entrepreneurs who were game-changers in their field (according to the event organizers). There was one woman in particular who I really felt...
Continue Reading
The Big Test Before You Leap
May 28, 2024
Jordan Gray
The Big Test Before You Leap
In 2019, my now-wife/then-love-interest Demetra and I were engaging in multi-hour Skype dates and inching ever-closer to the point of saying "Hey, we should meet up in person and see if our chemistry translates to the real world." Our rapport was phenomenal. The synchronicities were everywhere. It...
Continue Reading
‘Why Are Men Always Intimidated By Me?’: What’s Actually Happening
Feb 6, 2024
Jordan Gray
‘Why Are Men Always Intimidated By Me?’: What’s Actually Happening
I recently worked with a woman we’ll call Jennifer. Jennifer came to me because she had been single for over 10+ years, and she stated that she no longer wanted to be. She told me that men always found her 'intimidating' and that they just didn’t know how to relate to her (which is far from the first...
Continue Reading
5 Powerful Relationship Tools That Work Fast
Jun 18, 2025
Jordan Gray
5 Powerful Relationship Tools That Work Fast
Many people think that their relationship will improve when the big things in life change. When they move to a new house, make more money, or finally take that long-overdue vacation. Then, they tell themselves, they'll have the time and space to put more...
Continue Reading
I’m Not Perfect - And No One Is
Mar 22, 2015
Jordan Gray
I’m Not Perfect – And No One Is
When people find out what I do for work, they tend to assume a few things about me. “You’re a relationship coach? So you must be like the perfect boyfriend then, right?” “What a fascinating job. So I guess you and your girlfriend never fight.” “You’re basically a therapist for intimate relationships…...
Continue Reading