Jun 8, 2019

9 Things Every Man Needs In His Nightstand (For A Better Sex Life)

Whether you’re single, dating, or married, keeping some key female-friendly products in the nightstand will help you out in your sex life. 

Thoughtfulness is not only sexy, but it’s one of the main ingredients in any thriving intimate relationship. Anticipating and providing for her needs makes your partner feel loved and cared for. Which, ultimately, is what any one wants to feel with their partner.

“But what will she think of me for keeping all of this stuff around my home. Won’t she judge me for being a bit of a slut?”

Maybe. If so, that’s just her own insecurities and judgmental mind talking. She may also appreciate how proactive you are in setting up your home to be that much more comfortable for her.

The real message behind you having these items on hand is that you’re a mindful, considerate person. You care about your partner’s comfort and want her to feel welcome in your home.

If she has an adverse reaction to you having an open box of tampons in your place, remember that it has nothing to do with you. But don’t be righteous, defensive, or reactive. Her having such a response would be natural and understandable. Hold space and dig a little deeper. But if she can’t come around to seeing your good intentions around after a well-managed conversation and a little time, you may want to consider a more appreciative and mature partner.

Never take it personally and make yourself feel wrong for such things. Stand behind your decisions. It’s not likely you’ll have to justify anything. But if you do, you don’t have to say, “Yeah, I keep this stuff around just in case a random one-night stand pops into my life.” Instead, you can say something casual (and honest) like, “Hey, I have ____  just in case you’d like some. Let me know if you need anything else, I want you to feel comfortable and have everything you need here.”

On that note, your partner might want completely different items around the house. Pay attention to what she likes, and directly ask her what she needs. As always, calibration is key. Customize your stock list to suit your individual partner. 

For now, here’s my list of nine thoughtful things every man shoulder consider having in his nightstand. Not all of these items are steamy and sexual. Some just cover the basic realities of being a female (#5 and #7 specifically).

9 Thoughtful Things Every Man Needs In His Nightstand

1. Toothbrushes

Keeping a stash of extra (unopened) toothbrushes is perfect if you’re in a phase of your life where you may be attracting new sexual partners. Who knows! These partners might want to sleepover but not be prepared with an overnight bag. If you’re in the early phases of dating, this is a must-have. I mean, these toothbrushes can also just be on hand for any friend or dinner guest who wants to freshen up, if you really want to be a next level host.

We can all feel shy about kissing without feeling like we have fresh breath, and that especially goes for new relationships. Eliminate any mental barriers to intimacy by keeping a spare pack of soft/extra-soft brushes (only psychopaths/would-be-murderers use anything firmer than that).

2. Wet wipes

Wet wipes are insanely handy and versatile. They’re great for wiping up sperm, quick hand sanitation, wiping down sex toys to prep for easier deep cleaning later, etc. Sometimes you don’t want to interrupt the sexual afterglow by getting up to hit the washroom. Wet wipes buy you a bit of extra time to relax and cuddle, or just drift off to sleep, without having to physically disconnect.

3. Massage oil

With some quality massage oil on hand, you’re always ready to spontaneously create an ultra-sensual experience, or have either person spoil the other with some loving touch.

sensual massage, sex tips for men

An upscale sex shop will have a good selection of massage oils. But honestly, you’re just as well off making your own by infusing organic coconut oil with some high quality essential oils. It’s cheap, skin friendly, and customizable. If you go this route, keep the heat very low and only add a few drops of your oil-of-choice. Find an attractive reusable jar or tin to keep it in.

4. Vibrator 

For some women, vibrators are key in unlocking their (clitoral) orgasmic potential. At the very least, it is a different sensation than the feeling of fingers or a mouth.

When it comes to toy shopping, you have a ton of options at your disposal. Vibrators are made for solo play and for couples, and they come in all shapes and sizes. You can get something that’s designed for the clitoris, G-spot, anus, or a combination of either. If she’s familiar with them, have her show you how she likes to use it so you can take the lead to mix things up in the future.

There are a lot of options, and most women will have specific preferences about what shape, strength and vibratory patterns work for them. There’s no need to break the bank, or your brain, trying to get the perfect one. Start with something basic and entry level. You can always upgrade later once you discuss it with your partner.

5. Tampons of varying sizes

This one is pretty standard. Getting caught during her cycle without flow control is some women’s worst nightmares. Most women have their tampon program dialled in (and may very well likely already have their favourite brand in their purse), but life happens, periods come early, and you might as well eliminate the risk by having some options on hand.

She will most likely be very particular about what she uses, but, if you’re in a newer relationship, you might not know what she uses yet. You simply want something as close to universal as possible. For the rare time that these will be needed, most women won’t mind using something that isn’t their style or brand of tampon or pad while they go to the store to get something that might be more their style (organic… unbleached… light… super… Diva cups… the options are endless).

The amount of tiny options in the tampon aisle is utterly overwhelming. Pads, cups, tampons and applicators – in all varieties of size, make and quality. To make it easier on you, eliminate pads and cups from your list of options. Tampons are the go-to, universal quick fix. Cups are pricier and personal, and pads, for many, are a thing of the past.

Tampon tip: “size” has nothing to do with the dimensions of her vagina. It’s about absorption ability. Make this part of the shopping trip easier on you and just grab the first small variety pack you see from a natural brand. She might need to use a larger size for the first day of her period, and a smaller one for the fourth day of her period… so having a variety of size options on hand is ideal.

6. Condoms 

Along with toothbrushes, condoms are the bread and butter of the nightstand menu. The specific brand and type that you want comes down to personal preference and a bit of trial-and-error. You’ll need to experiment to find the right fit and feel.

For now, keep it simple and avoid anything advertising strange textures, numbing, tingling, heating, or cooling sensations, as they could make either of you physically uncomfortable. Thinner options are always nice to naturally increase how much you can feel. If you’ve had some kicking around for a while, always throw them out and buy a fresh batch. You should find an expiry date on the package, and on each individual condom.

7. Cranberry pills

Some women are highly prone to UTI’s (urinary tract infections). If they don’t urinate right after sex, or finger play, any impurities or foreign bacteria introduced to the urethra at the front of the vagina could cause a UTI. Basically, it’s a non-stop feeling of having to urinate, and it hurts when you do, along with other general pain.

Neither person needs to be exceptionally unclean for her to contract a UTI. It’s usually as simple as the guy not washing his hands well enough before touching her. Since the clit is an ultra popular next-door neighbour to the urethra, it’s easy for this to happen.

Pure, unsweetened cranberry is proven to naturally prevent bacteria from adhering to the urinary tract. It’s best to be taken as a preventative measure, but it’s still effective when she feels one coming on. 

8. Water-based lubricant 

Water-based lube is best for vaginal sex for several reasons. It’s the easiest to wash off, feels most like the natural lubrication that her body makes, won’t stain your sheets, and is the least damaging to condoms and sex toys. 

Always buy lube without additives, glycerin, or sugars. These things can lead to bacterial issues in the vagina, or simple irritation, and ruin the sexual experience in both the short and long term.

9. Silicone-based lube 

Because silicon-based lube is the most slick and is the hardest to wash away, it’s ideal for anal play. It greatly reduces the risk of causing sudden discomfort from lack of lubrication, and eliminates the need to constantly re-apply. 

But never use it with silicon-based sex toys, as it causes them to break down and become porous over time, which leads to bacteria getting trapped in the toy’s surface.  Tempered glass wands or butt plugs, however, are fine. Silicon lube isn’t ideal for condoms, either. But if you’re just wearing one for a smoother anal experience, you don’t need to worry so much about the breakage issue (assuming you and your partner have both recently done full panel STI tests). Because, just in case anyone needs to read this, she can’t pregnant from anal sex.

These are just some common starter items to get you stocked up for the sexual partner(s) in your life. As mentioned, use your own experience to customize your nightstand stash of gear and goodies to satisfy the unique preferences of the partner in your life, as well as your own.

And hats off to you for likely being the most thoughtful, considerate partner she’s ever had!

Dedicated to your success,


Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will likely also love checking out:

– Supercharge Your Sex Life (video course for men)

7 Ways To Set Up Your Bedroom For Better Sex

– 5 Questions To Ask Your Partner For Better Sex

  5 Sex Toys That Every Couple Should Own (Seriously)



See All
Striving vs. Contentment - How To Be Driven And Happy At The Same Time
Nov 18, 2013
Jordan Gray
Striving vs. Contentment – How To Be Driven And Happy At The Same Time
How do you find a balance between striving for greatness and finding contentment in the present moment? Striving, or whatever you want to call it- being driven, yearning, reaching for the stars- comes at a cost if you don't balance it with enjoying what you have already achieved. Whether you are...
Continue Reading
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Oct 16, 2013
Jordan Gray
The 3 Timeless Laws Of Attraction
Humans are fairly predictable creatures. Because of this, we crave a sense of differentiation. We all want to be unique. We want to feel special. We want to believe that the rules that apply to all people don’t automatically apply to us. But you know something… It's okay to be human. And...
Continue Reading
How To Be A Beast In Bed - Removing Your Sexual Blocks (Pt. 3)
Mar 25, 2014
Jordan Gray
How To Be A Beast In Bed – Removing Your Sexual Blocks (Pt. 3)
Sexual intimacy is just as much of an internal experience as it is an external one (if not more so). The majority of people have some kind of hesitation, nervousness, or blocks around sexuality and it's a normal and healthy process to be worked through with a trusted partner. Here are three sexual...
Continue Reading
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
Jan 1, 2014
Jordan Gray
The Most Challenging 48 Hours Of My Life (A Year In Review)
I was at one of the lowest points of my life a year and a half ago… I was depressed, unfulfilled, and having frequent panic attacks. I was in a relationship that drained me, a job that I resented, and felt incongruent with who I was and what I was doing. One morning, I woke up and decided that...
Continue Reading
What 100 People Said Their Ideal Love Life Looks Like
Apr 5, 2015
Jordan Gray
What 100 People Said Their Ideal Love Life Looks Like
I recently asked 50 men and 50 women a simple question regarding their ideal love life. I asked them to each complete a single “sentence stem” five times. That sentence stem was “If I were to take full responsibility in my love life…”. Their answers were inspiring, beautiful, heart-warming,...
Continue Reading
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Oct 29, 2014
Jordan Gray
Jordan’s Top 7 Books On Sex And Relationships
Every week, people ask me what books I would recommend for them to further their understanding of sex and relationships. Having been someone that has been self-educating on sex, psychology, and relationships for the past decade, and having read hundreds of books on the subject, I feel fairly qualified...
Continue Reading