Ever heard of a praise kink?
While the phrase and concept was originally born out of the BDSM community, a praise kink is proof that kinksters aren’t all about rough-and-tumble, heavy-handed dominance and submission.
In fact, many subsets of kink are about healing and integration (arguably all of them are, but some more overtly than others).
In this article, I’ll dive into what a praise kink is, how to know if you have one, how to go about exploring it, and then we’ll get into specific praise kink phrases that you can either use with your partner or have them use with you.
This list of praise kink phrases is literally the most comprehensive one on all of the internet, so I trust that you’ll get a lot out of it.
What Is A Praise Kink?
A praise kink is, in essence, when someone gets turned on by receiving praise, recognition, and positive acknowledgment from their partner.
This praise can take place in the bedroom (during sexual activity), but it doesn’t necessarily have to.
Someone with a praise kink could receive just as much pleasure from being praised for doing the dishes or cooking a delicious meal, as they would being praised for doing something that pleased their partner sexually.
Now, of course, nearly everyone experiences joy and happiness when they are thanked, praised, or acknowledged for doing something good. This is just a fundamental feature of being a human. As a social species, we are hardwired to seek praise and validation from people who we care about.
But people with praise kinks often take this to the next level. They don’t just get a mild, temporary feeling of the warm-and-fuzzies. Rather, they intensely like the feeling of being praised. Often so much that it moves into the sexual realm. In other words, they feel a noticeable sexual charge of erotic energy when they are praised for things that they have done.
If this is something that you think potentially appeals to you, read onwards.
Why Someone Might Have A Praise Kink
There are several reasons why someone might have a praise kink (or a desire for what some call a praise fetish, or affirmation kink).
It could be the case that they have received little to no praise or recognition earlier in their life, and that younger version of themselves wants to heal and integrate by receiving praise from a safe lover.
It could also be the case that they did receive a healthy or even an abundant amount of praise and recognition, and this communication style registers as love to them.
Or, it could be something else entirely.
I have worked with clients who described their praise kink as feeling surprisingly similar to the feeling of embarrassment. They described it as feeling like a “neighbouring emotion.” Why would that be the case? Because receiving praise from anyone (especially someone as close to them as their significant other) felt like a stretch to receive. And it is that feeling of being stretched to allow in the positive sentiments that feels erotic for them.
Truthfully, there’s a million reasons why someone could feel drawn to a praise kink. These are just a few of the more common ones that I have heard in my 15+ years as a sex and relationship coach to men and women.
How To Know If An Affirmation Kink Appeals To You
Like I said, all people respond to being positively recognized for who and what they are. But some people feel the charge of the validation in an entirely different way.
To know if a praise kink appeals to you more than most, try asking yourself the following questions.
– Do you often find yourself going out of your way to do kind, thoughtful, or considerate things for people you care about?
– Have you ever experienced a feeling of euphoria when someone you cared about told you that you had done something well, or something that pleased them?
– Have you ever found yourself more attracted to a partner or potential partner because they were more prone to verbally praising you or others?
– Has a significant other ever praised you during a sexual act, and it made you feel even more aroused?
– Have you ever felt overwhelmed with feeling/sensation/emotion as a result of being praised (could have registered as shyness, embarrassment, discomfort), and you weren’t sure if you liked it or not because the feeling was so strong?
– Have you ever found yourself craving praise, recognition, or positive validation, and felt like it was a deep need, on a similar level of your need to eat or sleep?
– Either while masturbating or having sex, do you ever fantasize about a partner verbally praising you?
When you feel into these questions, do you have more yes’s than no’s? If so, you may very likely have a praise kink, or have the beginnings of a praise kink.
If you feel fairly confident that praise kink appeals to you, you might be curious how to go about safely exploring it with a partner.
How To Explore A Praise Fetish
As with any kink or sexual desire, I always recommend exploring it in an emotionally safe, committed relationship. This is where we all do our deepest healing. To explore any deeper sexual aspect of ourselves, safety is the first and most necessary ingredient.
Whether you are single or already in a committed relationship, safety is the first thing to audit for in exploring this sexual desire.
Do you feel safe with the person you’re engaging with? Do you feel comfortable bringing this part of yourself to them? And do you trust that they will hold it with love, care, and tenderness?
If so, fantastic.
To get started with exploring your praise kink with a partner, simply…
Tell Them About Your Desire
Pick a time when you have both had good sleeps and you’ve both eaten food within the last few hours. In other words, pick a time when you’re both able to feel present and internally resourced. Bringing up a tender desire of your heart likely won’t go as well if you’ve both had terrible sleeps and/or you just had a big blowout fight.
When you have your partner’s full attention, inform them of what it is you’d like to explore with them.
Tell them that there’s something sexually that you’d like to experiment with more.
Tell them that you have really loved it every time they’ve praised you, acknowledged you, or said (insert your favourite sentences or phrases) to you, in or out of the bedroom.
By giving them the keys to win in loving you, they will then be in a position to love you that much better.
At first, you can start slow. You can tell them that you’d love to hear one or two phrases more in (or out of) the bedroom. Or, if this is an already somewhat established practice, you can tell them how you would love to explore the next layer of this desire of yours.
The first step is safety, the second step is communication. By simply telling your partner directly what it is you’d like to play with more, you are then both in a better position to integrate this newfound desire of yours.
Alright, are you already excited by the notion of further exploring your praise kink with a safe and loving partner?
Next, we’ll dive into two lists of praise kink phrases you and your partner can use.
We’ll start with some easier, tamer ones, and then move into some more erotic, charged praise kink phrases you can play with.
Beginner Praise Kink Phrases
– Good girl/Good boy
– My good girl/My good boy
– You please me so well
– I love what you’re doing right now
– You give the sweetest kisses
– I love you so much
– You are such a cutie
– Pretty girl
– Everything you’re doing right now is absolutely perfect
– You have the most beautiful smile
– I love how you smell
– My sweet boy/man
– I love this
– You are so beautiful/handsome/gorgeous/etc.
– You are the most attractive person I have ever seen
– I love the sounds you make
– You are greatest blessing in my entire life
– You have the cutest little face
– Yes my love, just like that
– That was a challenging thing you just did, and you met it with so much courage!
– You’re so kind and thoughtful
– I love the way you laugh
– You are the sweetest person
– You’re a treasure
– My love, the home looks so good (after you noticed they’ve cleaned or tidied)
– You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me
– You give the best hugs
– I’m so very lucky to have you
– I love the way you’ve decorated our home… you have such great taste
– Thank you
– You have such a good heart
– You are so good at this
– I love the sound of your voice
– You are so good at pleasing me
– You’re my boy/You’re my girl
– It is so easy to love you
– I feel so calm, happy, and at peace when I’m around you
– No one has ever pleased me like you do
– You are such a good person
– I love the way you touch me
– You’re really good at this/that
– I love that you’re mine, and only mine
– Great job, my love
– You are doing so well
– You have such a perfect body
– This food is amazing – you’ve really outdone yourself
– I love cherishing you
– You got so much done today, my love! Look at you go!
– You turn me on so much
– I love the way you look at me
– You are just the hottest little thing
– That’s it
– You’re doing great
– I’m so proud of you
– You are the perfect partner for me
– I’m so proud to be your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/etc.
– Very good
– You did so well
– Wow, look at you!
– I love the way you move through the world
– You feel so incredible
– You are so good at life
– I am so grateful for you and everything you do for me
– You look so sexy/beautiful/handsome in that dress/shirt/outfit
– You are the best cook
– I love being seen with you in public
– Perfect. That’s my girl/boy.
– You’re so good to me
– I love hearing about your dreams
– Everything in my life is better because of you
– You add so much magic to my life
– I love the way that you dress
– You are so cute when you blush
– I love loving you
– You have the most beautiful mind. I love hearing how you relate to the world.
– I really appreciate how well you take care of me
– I’ve noticed how much effort you’ve been putting into (hobby, chore, housework, etc.) and you’ve really been making so much progress with it. It really shows.
– I really appreciate you
Advanced Praise Kink Phrases
– You have the most perfect breasts/cock/pussy/ass/lips/etc. (specific body part)
– I couldn’t have asked for a sexier lover
– I love how good you are at experiencing pleasure
– You have the biggest cock
– You fuck me so well
– I love how you look at me when you’re turned on
– You are so sexy. You make me so horny.
– I love fucking you
– Mmm… I can tell that you’re having fun (said after seeing how wet/hard they are)
– You are so good at taking a spanking
– Look at how sexy you are
– Look at what a good girl you’re being
– I could happily spend all day fucking you
– I love watching your beautiful body in the mirror
– You are the most gifted cock-sucker in the entire world. Truly, you could teach a masterclass.
– I love the sounds you make when you cum
– Mmm perfect… do that again
– You have the tightest and best pussy in the world
– I love it when you ride me like this
– You’re my good little slut, aren’t you?
– Your ass looks incredible in that
– Yes, keep doing exactly that
– I love the sounds you make when I’m fucking you
– Thank you for sucking my cock/eating my pussy so well
– I love it when I can feel you squeeze your pussy around me
– I love it when you pulse your cock inside of me
– You know how to make me feel so good
– I love the way you suck my cock/eat my pussy
– Your body is absolutely ridiculous (said in a positive, complimentary way)
– I can’t stop thinking about your perfect body/ass/cock/pussy/etc.
– I love the way you pout when you don’t get your way
– You are so beautiful and uninhibited when you cum… I absolutely love it
– Your pleasure is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed
– Watching you cum is like seeing the most beautiful sunrise imaginable
– You are just so fucking sexy
– I love the way that you walk… you are like sex on two legs
– You are sex personified
– Your pussy tastes like heaven
– I love the way your cum tastes
– I want to drink up every ounce of you for the rest of my life
– Taking your beautiful cock/pussy into my mouth is like my favourite dessert
– You are the sexiest person ever
– You have such a talented mouth
(Want to learn how to fall in love with giving blowjobs? Check out this bonus interview featuring my wife and I, from our Queen of Blowjobs program, on this exact topic.)
The 3 Main Categories Of Praise Kink To Focus On
When it comes to engaging with praise kink with a partner, there are three main categories that you’ll likely want to focus on.
The first is praise, recognition, and validation that is focused on things that you do. This could look like praising acts of service that you carry out for your partner, housework that you do, or achievements in your career.
The second category is to focus on things that you are. This could include your character, your physical looks, or your overall thoughtfulness.
And the third category is to focus your praise kink in a much more sexual context. For some people, their praise kink really only kicks in when it comes to being sexual with their partners – and it doesn’t transfer into their every day lives as much.
If you or your partner aren’t sure which one does it the most for you, feel free to try them out, and see which ones land as the being the most impactful. And of course, you can mix and match, and have your praise and recognition be applied to multiple of the previously mentioned categories.
Where To Go From Here
Alright, you made it!
Now that your tool belt is loaded with specific praise kink phrases you can use, you and your partner (or future partner) can have all of the fun in the world with it.
And remember, when engaging with any form of praise or affirmation kink, the things that we/our partners say should always be genuine. This isn’t about saying words just to say them. We should mean what we say from deep within our hearts, if we hope for them to have the kind of positive impact we aspire for them to have.
Because, ultimately, when we put energy towards loving each other with more intention, we all win.
Also, if you enjoyed this article on praise kink, you’ll also love checking out the resources I’ve linked to below.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
– Loving Dirty Talk: Loving Words To Say During Sex (55 Phrases)
– Supercharge Your Sex Life (video series for men, on becoming a more confident lover in the bedroom)
